Thursday, October 25, 2007
THe Flipside
On the upside, sometimes not saying everything that comes into my head is a good thing. Today, I honestly had to resist the urge to say to a patient, "Man, for a big guy, you sure have little arms!"
Friday, October 19, 2007
Silent All These Years
So it happened again yesterday that I was put in a situation that made me feel uncomfortable and instead of saying what I think, I froze. I can't believe how often that happens to me! It seems so weird that there are times when I can't even gather MY OWN thoughts to vocalize them. Then later when I'm by myself or washing the dishes or whatever I think of all the things I could've said, and the monologe inside my head goes on and on of all the things I couldn't think of before, almost to torture me. It probably sounds overly dramatic, but it's something I wish I could change. Why do I tend to be one of the last people willing to stand up for me?
Wednesday, October 17, 2007
The Best She Can
I have to have some Dental work done, my appointment isn't until next Tuesday and I'm in pain for the meantime. I'm trying to control it with Advil and walking the line of never wanting to feel my throbbing tooth but also not wanting to overdose or hurt my stomach. Yesterday was the worst, probably because I finally went into the dentist and I somehow bulit it up in my mind that I just needed to wait for the appointment and the pain would be gone, only to have them take an X-ray, give me a prescription for Amoxicillan and send me on.
So at one point last night I just started crying. I consider myself pretty tough, but constant throbbing pain and feeling like there was nothing else I could do to help it left me feeling helpless. While the tears were coming down my face Kami ran over from where she was playing, climbed up on me and held my face in both her hands, wanting me to look at her. Then once I calmed down she hugged me and gave me kisses and wouldn't go play again until she was sure I was okay.
It's such an amazing feeling to love my little girl SO MUCH, and always be so proud of her and then realize on nights like tonight how much she's looking out for me, too. The best she can without saying a word.
Sunday, October 14, 2007
Oops!
One night about a week ago Kameryn was entertaining herself by sticking these ducks to the wall. They had suction cups on the back because they were meant for giving the tub some texture. She would stick them on, and after awhile they would fall, and I noticed when they fell she'd say, "Oh chit!" Not believeing I had heard right, I told Jay what I thought she had said, and almost to prove me right, just then another duck fell down and she said it again. "Oh chit!" Moral of the story: I need to learn to watch my mouth NOW, or get used to the idea of the mortified looks from other moms who realize that my daughter has learned to swear before learning how to say her own name.
Saturday, October 06, 2007
Things About Me
These things never get old...
1. What time did you get up this morning? I think it was about 10:30. I usually get up earlier but it's Saturday and Kami didn't go to bed until 1 last night.
2. Diamonds or pearls? Diamonds
3. What was the last film you saw at the cinema? At the cinema??? Um, Superbad
4. What is your favorite TV show? Right now, Greys Anatomy thanks to Danae
5. What do you usually have for breakfast? Eggs and Toast
6. What is your middle name? Don't have a middle name
7. What kind of food do you dislike? Seafood, almost any kind. It grosses me out.
8. What is your favorite CD at the moment? My new Ani Difranco CD that Jay got me.
9. What kind of car do you drive? Nissan Sentra and a Pontiac Sunfire
10. Favorite sandwich? Turkey avacado or chicken salad
11. What characteristic do you despise? Rudeness
12. Favorite item of clothing? Comfy jeans
13. If you could go anywhere in the world on vacation, where would you go? Scotland
14. Where would you retire? In Seattle or Portland or maybe Alaska!
15. What was your most memorable birthday? 22nd
16. Favorite sport to watch? Football
17. Farthest place you are sending this? Through the depths of the internet
18. Person who will be the least likely to return this letter? ....yeah, about that, I kinda made it into a blog.
19. Favorite saying? I'm in love with most Ani Difranco lyrics. One of my favorites is "God help you if you are a pheonix, and you dare to rise up from the ash. A thousand eyes will smoulder with jealousy as you are just flying passed."
21. When is your birthday? 3/19/84
22. Are you a morning person or a night person? Night
23. Pets? None
24. What did you want to be when you were little? An actress
25. What are you today? I'm a medical assistant going to school to become an X-ray tech.
26. What is your favorite candy? chocolate
27. What is your favorite flower? Roses or Daisies
28. What is a day on the calendar you are looking forward to? Thanksgiving, a day I get to spend with my family.
29. What church do you attend? Currently, none
30. What are you listening to right now? Silence, both Jay and Kami are asleep.
31. What was the last thing you ate? Eggs in a Basket
32. If you were a crayon, what color would you be? Scarlett
33. How is the weather right now? Cold and Rainy
34 Last person you spoke to on the phone? Danae
35. Favorite soft drink? Dr. Pepper forever
36. Favorite restaurant? I always have a hard time with this one, but I'd say Iggy's or Johnny Carino's or Training Table since we have so much fun there. I'd much rather have food made at home.
37. Hair color? Brownish with streaks
38. Siblings? 2 brothers and 3 sisters
39. Favorite day of the year? Thanksgiving
40. What was your favorite toy as a child? I loved Puzzles. I'd sit at the coffee table and do the same 3 every day.
41. Summer or winter? Fall and Spring of course!
42. Hugs or kisses? Hugs
43. Chocolate or vanilla? Chocolate
44. Do you want your friends to email you back? Um yeah, about that...
45. When was the last time you cried? I am NOT the kind of person that cries during TV shows, that's for sure. And not Grey's Anatomy. Who would cry about that, that's stupid or something.
46. What is under your bed? Totes filled with pictures and things. When I have the money Amanda will come decorate and help me put them to use.
47. Who is the friend you have had the longest? Not counting sisters, Kim
48. What did you do last night? I watched Grey's Anatomy and Next Top Model and BEGGED Kami to finally go to sleep!
49. Favorite smell? Vanilla
50. What are you afraid of? Something happening to my family or unexpected expensive events.
51. Plain, buttered, or salted Popcorn? Buttered and Salted!
52. How many years at your current job? Just over 2
53. How many towns have you lived in? um, 3
54. Do you make friends easily? I'm getting better
55. How many people will you be sending this to? Whoever wants to read it...
1. What time did you get up this morning? I think it was about 10:30. I usually get up earlier but it's Saturday and Kami didn't go to bed until 1 last night.
2. Diamonds or pearls? Diamonds
3. What was the last film you saw at the cinema? At the cinema??? Um, Superbad
4. What is your favorite TV show? Right now, Greys Anatomy thanks to Danae
5. What do you usually have for breakfast? Eggs and Toast
6. What is your middle name? Don't have a middle name
7. What kind of food do you dislike? Seafood, almost any kind. It grosses me out.
8. What is your favorite CD at the moment? My new Ani Difranco CD that Jay got me.
9. What kind of car do you drive? Nissan Sentra and a Pontiac Sunfire
10. Favorite sandwich? Turkey avacado or chicken salad
11. What characteristic do you despise? Rudeness
12. Favorite item of clothing? Comfy jeans
13. If you could go anywhere in the world on vacation, where would you go? Scotland
14. Where would you retire? In Seattle or Portland or maybe Alaska!
15. What was your most memorable birthday? 22nd
16. Favorite sport to watch? Football
17. Farthest place you are sending this? Through the depths of the internet
18. Person who will be the least likely to return this letter? ....yeah, about that, I kinda made it into a blog.
19. Favorite saying? I'm in love with most Ani Difranco lyrics. One of my favorites is "God help you if you are a pheonix, and you dare to rise up from the ash. A thousand eyes will smoulder with jealousy as you are just flying passed."
21. When is your birthday? 3/19/84
22. Are you a morning person or a night person? Night
23. Pets? None
24. What did you want to be when you were little? An actress
25. What are you today? I'm a medical assistant going to school to become an X-ray tech.
26. What is your favorite candy? chocolate
27. What is your favorite flower? Roses or Daisies
28. What is a day on the calendar you are looking forward to? Thanksgiving, a day I get to spend with my family.
29. What church do you attend? Currently, none
30. What are you listening to right now? Silence, both Jay and Kami are asleep.
31. What was the last thing you ate? Eggs in a Basket
32. If you were a crayon, what color would you be? Scarlett
33. How is the weather right now? Cold and Rainy
34 Last person you spoke to on the phone? Danae
35. Favorite soft drink? Dr. Pepper forever
36. Favorite restaurant? I always have a hard time with this one, but I'd say Iggy's or Johnny Carino's or Training Table since we have so much fun there. I'd much rather have food made at home.
37. Hair color? Brownish with streaks
38. Siblings? 2 brothers and 3 sisters
39. Favorite day of the year? Thanksgiving
40. What was your favorite toy as a child? I loved Puzzles. I'd sit at the coffee table and do the same 3 every day.
41. Summer or winter? Fall and Spring of course!
42. Hugs or kisses? Hugs
43. Chocolate or vanilla? Chocolate
44. Do you want your friends to email you back? Um yeah, about that...
45. When was the last time you cried? I am NOT the kind of person that cries during TV shows, that's for sure. And not Grey's Anatomy. Who would cry about that, that's stupid or something.
46. What is under your bed? Totes filled with pictures and things. When I have the money Amanda will come decorate and help me put them to use.
47. Who is the friend you have had the longest? Not counting sisters, Kim
48. What did you do last night? I watched Grey's Anatomy and Next Top Model and BEGGED Kami to finally go to sleep!
49. Favorite smell? Vanilla
50. What are you afraid of? Something happening to my family or unexpected expensive events.
51. Plain, buttered, or salted Popcorn? Buttered and Salted!
52. How many years at your current job? Just over 2
53. How many towns have you lived in? um, 3
54. Do you make friends easily? I'm getting better
55. How many people will you be sending this to? Whoever wants to read it...
Thursday, October 04, 2007
Love Letter: Month 17
Kameryn, you have the cutest sense of humor! This month the two things that have really stood out to me as huge developments are that you've started telling jokes, and that you understand us so well. I can't believe how big you're getting and how much fun you are!
We were sitting down to eat dinner one night and you were sitting in your highchair. You pointed at your dad and said "Daddy" but then looked and pointed at me and said "Daddy." You'd point to him, "Daddy" and then when you'd point to me and say it you'd start laughing, like you knew it was wrong and it was cracking you up. So often you make your daddy and me look at each other and laugh, you're so fun to be around and full of surprises.
You love dancing so much that we have started taking you to a dance class on Thursday mornings. It's for kids 12-36 months, and is taught by our friend Amanda (YEAH!) You love being with the other kids, and since it's hard to teach kids that young to dance, we usually just run around. Anytime you do dance, though, you get the other parents and kids watching you. Today we went and Amanda was having us run around pretending to be airplanes, and then we would crash. You were running around and were cracking up when everyone crashed, and then finally after all the rest of us were on the floor you laid down on the floor on your stomach, but you couldn't stop laughing. There was only one other girl in the class today, and by the end you guys were hugging each other. There's another girl in the class named Eltey, and even though she's older than you, probably 4, she follows you around and when we were leaving a couple weeks ago she asked when she could see you again. She said, "I like her, she's a crazypants."
This month you're getting another tooth on the bottom right, and I think you have the cutest smile ever. You're still getting better at eating, but the problem you run into now is that you like the taste of things so much you stuff a lot in your mouth, and then have to spit it out because it's more than you can swallow. You're so smart, you meow when you see a cat, and bark when you see pictures of dogs. If you hear a dog barking outside you'll point to where you heard the noise come from and bark. You love butterflies, and you love putting on your socks and shoes. Anytime we get them on you you look at your feet and say, "Walk walk walk." You love walking and like to hold both my and your dad's hand when walking down the street. You also LOVE chocolate, and know where to find it. The other day you got up on the table and crawled over to the cookie jar, knowing that's where we keep the kisses.
Everyday when I come home from work when I walk in the door you say, "HI!" in a sweet, high voice, and then I come and hold you and you hug me so tight and laugh. We're best friends, you always snuggle with me and your dad. You're also started to be a big helper, anytime I'm putting clothes from the washer into the dryer I put them on the door and you love to push them in, and then when I tell you to you love to shut the dryer. It's so fun that you're old enough to start little rituals like that. You're so smart it amazes me. 
I feel so lucky to have you around. The more I get to know you, the more I love you which is weird, because I loved you with my whole heart the first time I saw you. Being with you reminds me of a quote from Lost In Translation when Bill Murray is talking about his kids, and he talks about how "the day the first one is born is the scariest day of your life. You're life as you know it is gone. But then they learn to walk and they learn to talk and they turn out to be the most amazing people. You want to be with them." That's how I feel, lucky to have such a smart, happy daughter that I love to be around.
We were sitting down to eat dinner one night and you were sitting in your highchair. You pointed at your dad and said "Daddy" but then looked and pointed at me and said "Daddy." You'd point to him, "Daddy" and then when you'd point to me and say it you'd start laughing, like you knew it was wrong and it was cracking you up. So often you make your daddy and me look at each other and laugh, you're so fun to be around and full of surprises.You love dancing so much that we have started taking you to a dance class on Thursday mornings. It's for kids 12-36 months, and is taught by our friend Amanda (YEAH!) You love being with the other kids, and since it's hard to teach kids that young to dance, we usually just run around. Anytime you do dance, though, you get the other parents and kids watching you. Today we went and Amanda was having us run around pretending to be airplanes, and then we would crash. You were running around and were cracking up when everyone crashed, and then finally after all the rest of us were on the floor you laid down on the floor on your stomach, but you couldn't stop laughing. There was only one other girl in the class today, and by the end you guys were hugging each other. There's another girl in the class named Eltey, and even though she's older than you, probably 4, she follows you around and when we were leaving a couple weeks ago she asked when she could see you again. She said, "I like her, she's a crazypants."This month you're getting another tooth on the bottom right, and I think you have the cutest smile ever. You're still getting better at eating, but the problem you run into now is that you like the taste of things so much you stuff a lot in your mouth, and then have to spit it out because it's more than you can swallow. You're so smart, you meow when you see a cat, and bark when you see pictures of dogs. If you hear a dog barking outside you'll point to where you heard the noise come from and bark. You love butterflies, and you love putting on your socks and shoes. Anytime we get them on you you look at your feet and say, "Walk walk walk." You love walking and like to hold both my and your dad's hand when walking down the street. You also LOVE chocolate, and know where to find it. The other day you got up on the table and crawled over to the cookie jar, knowing that's where we keep the kisses.Everyday when I come home from work when I walk in the door you say, "HI!" in a sweet, high voice, and then I come and hold you and you hug me so tight and laugh. We're best friends, you always snuggle with me and your dad. You're also started to be a big helper, anytime I'm putting clothes from the washer into the dryer I put them on the door and you love to push them in, and then when I tell you to you love to shut the dryer. It's so fun that you're old enough to start little rituals like that. You're so smart it amazes me. I feel so lucky to have you around. The more I get to know you, the more I love you which is weird, because I loved you with my whole heart the first time I saw you. Being with you reminds me of a quote from Lost In Translation when Bill Murray is talking about his kids, and he talks about how "the day the first one is born is the scariest day of your life. You're life as you know it is gone. But then they learn to walk and they learn to talk and they turn out to be the most amazing people. You want to be with them." That's how I feel, lucky to have such a smart, happy daughter that I love to be around.
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