Attitude if a 10 Month Old

Last night Blogger kept pulling up an error when I tried to sign in, which is why I didn't post last night. I was going to tell a story about Kameryn, and the older she gets and the more she understands, the more attitude she gets.
Last night she was crawling around on the gorund while Chelsee, Jay and I ate our dinner and watched Alias. She kept trying to crawl into the kitchen, and Jay would tell her, "Kameryn, no." She's sit down, look back at him, shake her head and keep crawling into the kitchen. She did it twice! The, "Yes, I hear you, but no, I don't care what you think."
I was asking one of my patients once about her daughter, and she said, "She's so much like I was growing up that she makes me crazy. I know she's my mom's wish on me."
Mom? Anything you need to tell me?!

Three of Five

I didn't get to watch all of the movies nominated for Best Picture before the Academy Awards. I watched three out of five, and watched Little Miss Sunshine more than once. I didn't see The Departed, so I don't know if it deserved Best Picture or not yet, but my guess is I'll still like Little Miss Sunshine better.
I wasn't really excited to watch Babel, and it was better than I expected it to be in some ways, but I didn't expect much. Throughout the movie I just kept thinking how lame it was that everyone hated each other and was afraid of each other, and why couldn't the Japanese girl keep her clothes on? The director said that he started to make a movie about hoe different we all are, and ended up with a movie about how we're all the same.
I think I would've been more interested if he hadn't stuck so tightly to the "typical" stereotypes: The Americans were greedy and didn't trust anyone else, the main Japanese character was obsessed with sex, the Mexican characters were always looking out for other people and then got punished anyway, and the people from the Middle East were peaceful and just wanted to look after their goats. I think there's more to people than this, and if you're writing a movie about how we're all the same, it might be a good idea to branch out a little.

My Big Girl

Tonight, another cheater blog. You know, because spending the day driving around, helping Chelsee with her photography assignment, then watching movies and eating treats is SO exhausting!

Kami with her best (stuffed) friend, Mr. Quackers. Lately she wants to take him anywhere she goes, and when she first sees him she'll cover him in kisses.

These are the new clothes we bought her this weekend because she's growing out of everything else so quickly. I will be the first to admit she dresses better than I do. We also bought her socks and shoes, but she pulls them off almost immediatly after we put them on. And if you need a reminder about how old she's getting:
She pulls herself to standing on almost everything now. She hasn't started walking along furniture or anything like that yet, but give it a week. She's almost 10 months old and sometimes when I see her standing up or crawling around or climbing the stairs, I honestly wonder where all the time went. And she just keeps getting more beautiful.

Camping

(Yep, that's right, my dates skipped from Friday to Sunday at two in the morning. Jay and I were talking about some serious stuff last night, and it seemed like a bad idea to go blog afterwards. He wanted me to because he said he knew I'd be mad at myself if I missed a day, and he was right. That's why I'm up at 3:30 in the morning! Please excuse any spelling or grammer issues, and if this blog is incoherant.)

This afternoon we, along with Jay's parents, made some final reservations for a trip the beginning of June. We're going to drive over to Mount Rushmore in South Dakota, and while we're there we'll see the Badlands, and they're a couple of caves I really want to go see, Jewel Cave, I think it was called, and Ice Cave. They talked in a magazine we were reading about how Jewel Cave has these little stones that look like popcorn all over, and Ice Cave is the 6th largest in the world! I'm really excited to go and see all of it, the only hitch is that for most of the trip, we'll be a tent.
The Ertmanns are big campers, they tell me all the time that they first took Jay camping when he was just a few weeks old. I think I can count the number of times we got our tent out on one hand, and really, that was okay with me. I would much rather sleep in a motel than in a tent. But I'm being colonized a little bit on this one, and I really hope it works for us and that Kameryn will cooperate with us having her sleep on the ground for a few nights. Hopefully she got that from her dad.

The Book of Lost Things

It's getting late, and as a cheater blog I'll write a paragraph from the book I'm reading called "The Book of Lost Things:"

"Stories were different, though: they came alive in the telling. Without a human voice to read them aloud, or a pair of wide eyes following them by flashlight beneath a blanket, they had no real existance in our world. They were like seeds in the beak of a bird, waiting to fall to earth, or the notes of a song laid out on a sheet, yearning for an instrument to bring their music into being. They lay dormant, hoping for the change to emerge. Once someone started to read them, they could begin to change. The could take root in the imagination, and transform the reader. Stories wanted to be read, David's mother would whisper. They needed it. It was the reason they forced themselves from their world into ours. They wanted us to give them life."

I think the book I would say has influenced me the most, up to this point, is "To Kill a Mockingbird." I hope Kameryn doesn't get sick of me telling her how her middle name is after Harper Lee's last name, and how she was born one day after Harper. The book itself is a masterpiece, it kept me completely enthralled the whole way through.

Can You Hear Me Now?

(See previous mini-blog!)

Alright, I don't know what happened with that but it's letting me type now. What a load and a waste of time! I hope this New Blogger is good because that really pissed me off. Which is kindof the opposite feel of the earxax story, but I'll tell it anyway to help me calm down.

Today on our second to last patient we had a woman come in for "Hearing Loss." I had a total "You're Gonna Die Pam!" moment with it because while I was checking her in I actually thought to myself: "I hope she really is losing her hearing and doesn't just have earwax build-up because I don't want to have to clean her ears out." After I thought it I was so embarrassed with myself. What kind of person thinks that way?!

The doctor went in to see her and then walked out and said, "She needs her ears cleaned."
".....Ear Lavage." I'm sure he specified it because me and my co-worker were both sitting there, and when he told us, neither of us moved. It's almost the MA form of chicken. The first one to stand up has to do the procedure, so you see who will cave in and stand up first, and I'm ashamed to tell you that the doctor had gone into another room before either of us caved. My co-worker's phone rang and she answered it, and I decided I wasn't going to wait for her to get off, risking the doctor coming out of the room and seeing us both just sitting there, so I went to go set up for it.

People have to deal with worse things everyday in their jobs, probably, but ear lavages are not my favorite thing. It's not because they're gross, it's because I'm not very good at them, and there's only so long you can shoot water into someone's ear with no results before you want to start pulling your hair out.

The sad thing about them is that we don't like doing them, and the patient is so embarassed most times to have to get them done. It's really not fun for anyone, except the doctor who just tells us about it and then can move on.

So I set up and go into the patients room and she's so embarassed about it and I'm trying to reassure her that it happens and we'll get it taken care of. She's so nice that I'm hating my "hoping for actual hearing loss" thought more and more by the second. I get the syrringe ready, I shot a bit of it into her ear to make sure it's not too hot, and then I'm off. Time to clean some ears.

I fill up the syrringe and shoot it into her ear once and see bits of the clog breaking off in the water. It's a good sign. Then I fill the syrringe again and shoot water into her ear, and notice a big piece that's fallen into the emessis basin, and I'm pretty impressed with myself when the patient exclaims, "I can hear!!!" I look up and the rest of the brown earwax ball is still sitting in the bottom of her ear. It was a big chunk, too! No wonder she couldn't hear!

Two shots and I was done! I felt like the earwax queen! I think I strutted out of the room.

So let the earwax story be a reminder to you that sometimes it's better to get in there and do what you're afraid of/dreading/grossed out by because when you're successful, it won't be as bad the next time you're called upon.

The end.

Lame

you have got to be kidding me. blogger made me switch to new blogger and now an error comes up after every letter i type. this better be fixed soon because i didn't want to switch in the first place. i guess that is all for now, so i will have to tell my earwax story later.

Blame the Radio

So do I blog because my life is interesting, or is my life intersting because I blog?

My honest answer is my life is more interesting because I blog, and it's for a very simple reason: During the day I'm actually thinking about what I should blog about after I get home from work, and because of that I try to notice little things that I could blog about. It's something that is constantly going through my head.

A confession: I made the resolution to get my moles checked out because it would give me something to write about. So in a way, blogging saved my life. Yeah, that's a stretch. But now instead of two a-typical moles on my back, I have two scars which I don't think I would've thought about without my blog.

And here is my informational part of the blog, it's actually some facts about sex I heard on the radio this afternoon. Due to some adult content, you may want your children to step away from the computer. And that means you, Geoff.

1. The shortest fully engorged penis recorded is 1 3/4 inches.
2. It takes the average couple 38 minutes from the beginning of foreplay until climax.
3. The most common fantasy for both men and women is oral sex.
4. 64% of adults think it's okay to have affairs once in a while.
5. Since 1603 there have been 83 recorded cases of men being born with two penises.
6. 23% of adults say they were virgins when they got married.

I hope I'm not offending people, I thought those were interesting statistics. Some of them make me wonder WHO these people were surveying!

Book #3 For the Year

I finished my book this morning. Kameryn decided to get up at the ungodly time of 8:30 in the morning, and all of us went and sat on the couch in the living room. I read my book, and Jay and Kameryn watched some show with a sloth and a frog and an anteater that explained to them why echoes are nothing to be afraid of. And that no, you didn't accidently swallow a drum, that's just your heart beating. I can understand that Kameryn got sucked in from time to time because of all the colors and the music, but you should have seen Jay. ENGROSSED.

Anyway, the book was really good, I really enjoyed it. I spent mornings after I had read it re-telling Jay everything I had read. I highly recommend it, and if anyone wants to read it just let me know. Or if you're interested and want to get it from the Library or buy it, it's called "The Tipping Point, How Little Things Can Make a Big Difference" by Malcolm Gladwell.

So, that's another goal that I've still kept since the New Year, which brings my grand total of "Resolutions I've Kept Since The Year Began" to a hefty 2. It's better than nothing.

Interesting

It's funny because there are some nights that I sit in front of the computer and just stare at it. Sometimes I'll read a bunch of other blogs and a bunch of other websites in order to get ideas about what I should blog about. There are nights when I stay up an extra hour trying to come up with something, other nights when I get out of bed in the middle of the night to make sure I won't miss a day of blogging. When I think about not blogging I know it won't hurt anything and that people probably won't care too much, but I can't seem to allow myself to skip even a day.
Now if only I had that kind of motivation about something that mattered more, like exercising or scrapbooking or cleaning the apartment. I guess in a way it's nice to know how dedicated I can be to my goals. Now I just need to work on the prioritizing.

Two of Five, and Today's Other Events

Today Jay, Chelsee, Kameryn and I all went to see "The Queen," the second movie I've seen of the five nominated for Best Picture. And first of all, I have to say that Kameryn is banned from coming to any more movies with us. She wasn't bad, per say, she didn't CRY, she just wanted to talk and scream through the movie, so Jay missed the first parts of it outside with her, and I watched the end of the movie down near the exit.

From what I saw, I really liked it. I told mom today, though, that I don't like recommending movies on my blog because I think I don't do the movies justice. But I thought this was a good movie, really well acted, and I thought it was interesting that even though it doesn't seem like it at first, it actually tells the movie from both points of view, both the people's and the monarchies. I really liked it, and I think Helen Mirren will deserve it if she gets an Oscar for best actress.

After we saw the movie Chelsee wanted to go take pictures at Trolley Square for a photography assignment, so we went downtown. I was actually surprised by how many bouquets of flowers there were outside, along with notes and candles and even a shirt and a dreamcatcher. After she took some pictures outside, Jay wanted to go in. I know it's probably a little rediculous, but I was scared. I know I was probably as safe there as I am anywhere, but I still felt uneasy. I think the thing that may have bothered me the most inside was how normal it felt, besides flowers and notes left in different places, and Pottery Barn Kids was boarded up completely since we've found out that it was where the gunman was shot down. It was weird to know that something so terrible had happened in that place that I had been so many times before.

I think the worst of it was when we got to the gift shop where 5 people were shot. The glass was still boarded up, the store was closed, but inside were notes and flowers and things from the families to the people who had died inside. I couldn't help crying when I read them. It felt almost wrong to be there, insensitive in a way, like driving by a car accident you know is serious craning your neck to get a better look instead of respecting it.

Afterward we drove to a place we had seen while driving to Trolley Square. It caught our eye because of all the Catholic "Saint" candles, and Jay remembered hearing about it a few years ago; there were steps up so you could get a good look, and people claimed to have seen an image of the Virgin Mary in the tree. So we stopped and looked, but none of us saw anything but a tree trunk, and even the picture of what it had been before didn't serve as too much help since it had been there so long and there were water-droplets inside the frame.

It was a good day today, warm and beautiful. It was nice to get out of the house. I hope it stays as warm as it's been.

Jay's Play on Words

We walked out of the post office (yeah for doing taxes and getting a refund!) and the sun was shining really brightly. I told Jay "not to blind the baby," which is something that I say to him all the time, and we pulled the cover down over her eyes. Jay says,
"Yep, don't blind the baby. It's a non-blinding resolution."

Pretty smooth, huh?

What's a couple of years, anyway?

I don't know what it was exactly, but two nights ago I decided I was going to get over my fear and embarassment and make a call that is 2+ years overdue.

And then I quickly decided that, "No, I won't make this call, but I'll talk Jay into making it because I am motivated, but completely humiliated."

But, in my defense, Jay made the call and had to leave a message. When she called back tonight, I was the one who answered the phone and handled the situation. It sounded something like this:

Me, patheticly: "My name is Kjersti, you made our wedding video in 2004."
To which she responded in her completely sweet and chipper way, "Yeah, it's done!"
Which is something I kinda figured, I didn't think it took 2 years to make a wedding video, just two years for slackers such as Jay and I to contact her and finish paying for it so we can see it. FOR THE FIRST TIME.

So she's actually coming over tomorrow to pick up some pictures so she can finish the cover and get it to us, and I'm totally embarassed. In fact, anytime I watch Court TV and people sue stores for throwing their stuff away after leaving it for months and months, and the judge ALWAYS rules with the stores because the stuff has been abandoned, I slide down on my couch a little bit and try to hide. Luckilly, our videographer was patient. REALLY patient. Yes, rediculously patient.

And despite the embarassment for such obvious reasons, I can't tell you how excited I am to see it. I think it might actually be more fun to watch it now than it would've been to watch it right afterwards because of all the details we've probably forgotten in a day that took 10 months to plan and then was over so quickly.

Book One of February

I started a book tonight that I absolutely love. It's called "The Tipping Point, How Little Things Can Make a Big Difference." My friend Abby recommended it to me, and after Kameryn and Jay both went to bed early tonight I sat down with it and a Dr. Pepper to get my book-reading in for February.

I'm the kind of person who took a psychology class at Wever State and would read ahead in the book because I loved the content and all of the studies they had done, and this book is a lot like that, filled with scientific studies on how and why epidemics start. The thing I might love most about it, though, is that to prove their points they reference things like "The Six Degrees of Kevin Bacon" and Sesame Street. I sat down with it tonight thinking I'd read the introduction, blog, and get in bed early. In reality, I couldn't make myself stop reading and when I FINALLY put the book down, I realized I'm halfway through.

So thank you for the recommendation, Abs. It was spot on. And thanks for getting it for me for Christmas, Mom! You're the best! And for anyone who wants to borrow it after I'm done, I think I'll be done by Monday. And I love that I'm being serious about that.

I think this book is good in the same way the movie "Thank You For Smoking" is good in that it has a really good point that makes you think, but is also completely entertaining the whole way through. And if you haven't seen "Thank You For Smoking," call me and we can fix that, too.

The Day of Love

What better way to celebrate Valentines Day than listing all of the celebrity couples that Jay and I have outlasted? THERE IS NO BETTER WAY!!!

1.Britney Spears and Jason Alexander
2. Britney Spears and K-Fed (I think we get double points for that.)
3. Renee Zellweger and Kenny Chesney
4. Eminem and Kim (the second time around.)
5. Pamela Anderson and Kid Rock

And, yeah, that's it because I don't have the gusto to start looking them up on the Internet. I'm both pleased with thinking of at least 5 and also a little bit disgusted that these facts are actually lodged in my brain. My dad would be so ashamed!

Anyway, Happy Valentines Day everyone!

Trolley Square

I've always been really emotional. Even before I had Kameryn. I remember a co-worker at Einsteins making fun of how quickly I sympathized with people and was upset by sad circumstances, even when they had nothing to do with me.
The shooting at Trolley Square is really upsetting to me, which suprises me a bit because I try to not let things I see on the news get to me. I'm so sick of the news, by the way. I know "If it bleeds, it leads," but can we get a break? I don't need to hear about every child abuse case and fatal car accident and house fire and accidental death. And just so you know, an American Idol recap IS NOT NEWS.
But anyway, back to the Trolley Square topic: I think the worst part may be the son who lost his dad and the mom who lost her daughter. I won't let myself imagine myself in their places, that's too heartbreaking to even think about. Possibly bothers me the most about it is the pure randomness of the whole thing; if someone had gotten caught in traffic, or decided on Rumbi's instead of The Old Spaghetti Factory, things might be different.

When Kameryn was born I would sit and hold her and stare at her, and as much as I instantly loved her I also couldn't help but think that "This was a person who would out-live me. Here, in my arms." I think I was trying to come to terms with the huge responsibilty in front of me: My WHOLE LIFE. But it also weirded me out in a way and reminded me of my mortality.
As I've thought more about it I have completely lost the fear in thinking that Kameryn will out-live me. In fact, the only thing that I'm afraid of now is that she won't. I want her to bury me, and I refuse to think about it the other way around.

So it's hard for me to think about the mom who lost her 15 year old, not knowing that a trip to the mall would be the last time they would ever spend together, and that everything that was unsaid would remain unsaid forever because they were in the wrong place during a horrific time when an 18 year old would have the adacity to change their lives forever in the worst possible way.

I think I've said it, but if anything were to happen to me I wouldn't want this left unsaid: I love my family more than anything. I delight in being around you and I love to learn from you guys. Even the lame things that we've been through don't seem as bad because you're around. I really admire so many things about all of you, and I'm happy with the way we were raised and how we all turned out.
I think my mom and dad are the best and I appreciate what you've done for us and how you treated us growing up. I have so many fun memories of singing in the car during road trips and eating dinner all together and Sunday mornings on the bed. Honestly, the one thing (right now) that even makes me consider having more kids is I don't want Kameryn to miss out on all the fun I had growing up with my brothers and sisters. It was hard sometimes, but we got a loyalty to each other out of it that makes it all worth it.
I love my husband. I wonder sometimes about some of the choices we made (read: DEBT) and I don't think we fully understood everything we were getting into when we got married and then got pregnant, but I really wouldn't have it any other way. Despite all the work and worry and sometimes just getting by, I love you and I think we'll be the type that stays together until we're old and gray and finishing each other's sentences.
I love my daughter in an almost consuming way. I never would want her to doubt how much I love her and how I would do anything for her. I get excited to be around her, I can't wait to play with her after she wakes up or after I get home from work. I love to see how big she's growing and I think she has the most incredible, loving personality.

In a way I apoligise if this entry is completely depressing or redundant. It's been therapeutic for me to write it out and get the thoughts onto the screen and out of my head.

As lame as it might sound, my heart goes out to the people who are suffering because of the shooting. I hope you have faith in something that can help get you through, or people who are close to you that you can lean on until you heal. It's hard to accept that people can be so heartless to each other, and the only comfort I can take in the situation is that times like this show us how awful we can be to each other, but also the people who will selflessly protect each other. If possible, focus on that.

I fell for it again. I got in bed next to Jay and was talking to him and we both fell asleep. It's a trap, I swear. Anyway, more tomorrow.

First of Five

Every year Chelsee and I plan to watch all of the nominations for Best Picture. So far, I've seen one. And honestly I think I may have seen the best one first.
I thought Little Miss Sunshine was really funny and touching and entertaining. I watched it with my mom and Danae this weekend, and I think they liked it, but the first time I watched it was with Geoffrey and Chelsee, and we all seemed to get so into it that I don't think any of us wanted it to end.
The family in it is so quirky that you really can't like any of them completely, and I think it's that fact that made me like them so much, because they have a certain real-ness to them. The filming in it is beautiful, and I think despite some parts that make you embarassed for the family, it's overall a halarious movie.
I think that main part I like about it is the same thing I like about my family; everyone is so different and focused on different things and their lives are all taking them in different directions, but when it comes down to it they enjoy being together and know how to have a good time. They look out for each other and want to protect each other.

Stairway to Heaven

This will be yet another post that I brag about my daughter, and I'm not ashamed.

We went over to Danae and Gary's house tonight to hang out with them, and they had left to go grab some pizza leaving us with both babies. Kameryn was SO TIRED all night but anytime we got her to hold still and drink her bottle her eyelids would slowly close and then she'd sit straight up and push the bottle away.

Well, instead of sleeping she was whining, because that's obviously the better choice. She wouldn't stop for any distraction I put in front of her, and I was starting to get really frustrated when I had an idea, or more of an epiphany:

Teach her to crawl up the stairs.

I had read in my "Your Babies First Year" book that it's a good idea to teach your kids to go up and down stairs at this age, but our apartment doesn't give us the opportunity, and mom's house seems like a harsh teacher. So Danae's house was the answer.

I took her over and was showing her how to do it, helping her do it with me moving her arms and legs, and then showing her how I could do it. It didn't take long at all and she was standing, then moving one knee up, than the other knee, and then standing on the second step! She TOTALLY GOT IT! My baby is a genius!

The last step was putting Mr. Quackers (her favorite stuffed duck) up about 4 stairs and she would climb them in a hurry to go get her friend. Jay and I were so proud of her! Our smartest girl!

Next in line: potty training!

My Little Buddy

Isaac is one in only a handful of people who can keep me awake when I'm normally asleep, talking in high voices and making faces just to make him smile. Honestly, his smile is contagious.
I know I'm a couple days late, but happy 4 month birthday, buddy. It seems like you've been making us smile for a lot longer than that, and at the same time I can't believe how fast it's going by! But you're getting more fun every day. We love you, Little Buddy!

More Of A Blurb

Yesterday when I came home from work I walked in my apartment and could hear Kameryn squealing from the kitchen. I walked so that she could see me in the doorway, and she looked at me, reached out for me, and with a huge smile said, "MAMA!" Just the once. Like she got it. It made my entire night. Until the whole hand-burning thing, of course.

Then tonight I got my old cellphone out for her to play with, and I would make it ring and then "answer it." I'd say, "Oh, you want to talk to Kameryn?" And I'd put it up to her ear, and everytime she'd laugh and then go, "DADA!"

Guilt Filled Story #1... Let's Hope, For My Sanity, These Are Few and Far Between

I am an overprotective mom. There, I've said it. However, I think there's some reason to my over-protectiveness, and the reasons are usually things like I don't want to see Kameryn tumble head first off the bed or couch or anything that is off the ground. The "over" part of the overprotectiveness is that I react when Kameryn still has a good foot before she's near the edge of the couch. It's mostly when I see it out of the corner of my eye and don't have the depth perception about how close she really is, but I'm still really jumpy. It makes me a little bit nuts sometimes.

I remember when I decided to stop breastfeeding when Kameryn was two months old I would tell people that I felt guilty about it, and I had someone say, "Don't worry about it. There will be times when things happen to your kids that you SHOULD blame yourself for, but this isn't something to dwell on."

Just the other day I was thinking about how nothing like that had happened yet. Kameryn has gotten little bumps and scratches, but nothing I felt really guilty about.

And then tonight.

Jay has just taken Shepard's Pie out of the oven, dished some up and I'm just waiting to eat it. I've got Kameryn on my lap, and I swear it happened so fast at first, she grabbed a big handful of steaming hot food, burying her hand in it.

It takes a minute, and then she starts to scream. And you would think, I would think that I would know how to react. You know, medical assistant, I'm supposed to keep my cool. Nope. She starts screaming, and so do I. "JAY! HELP ME!" Because for some reason I'm staring at her little hand and have no idea what to do next.

So he grabs a nearby blanket and gets all the food off her hand as quick as he can, and by that time I'm rushing her to the kitchen to run cold water over her hand.

She screamed for awhile. With Kameryn, when she gets hurt she has this angry-yet-pathetic scream when she gets shots or hurt in any way, and it almost sounds like, "All I've ever done is love you and kiss you! Why have you let this happen?!" It's kinda heartbreaking. Thankfully, though, after we ran cold water on it she was back to playing. It seemed a little red, but didn't blister, so I think she'll be okay.

However, the aforementioned overprotectiveness has gone THROUGH THE ROOF. The fact that she is now crawling around doesn't help at all, and I think I may need some Xanax.

My Official Apology

I, Kjersti, apologise to my little sister, Chelsee, for all the times that I made fun of her for watching "Alias." I thought it was a lame show and that she was wasting her time, and now that she's got me started watching it I can hardly wait to find out what Sydney and her daddy are going to do next. So yes, in front of my family and friends and the entire Internet (because we all know I have a HUGE internet following who read my blog DAILY) I want to say that I was wrong. Alias is a good show AND addicting. I'm sorry for doubting you, Chelsee.
-Kjersti

P.S. I still don't apologise for Xena. Or Smallville.

Can you Do It?

Jay and I were walking out of Smith's a couple weeks ago and Celine Dion's "My Heart Will Go On" came on the speakers. I commented to him that even though Titanic was made, what, almost 10 years ago, they overplayed that song SO MUCH at the time that even now when I hear it, I cringe.

To which Jay replied, "Well, it's the only song Celine Dion is known for."

And I scoffed, "No, Celine Dion has like, 7 CDs. I could list 10 of her songs right now."

Not to be outdone, Jay said, "Alright, do it."

I have to admit, since I haven't listened to a Celine Dion CD in, well, a LONG time, I only got 7.

Can you do it? No cheating.

Fateful Signs of Destiny

I don't know if I'm the kind of person who believes in signs. Or fate, or destiny. Even though I'm a little romanced by the idea, I don't think it's fair for the people who have to live through tragedies.

But if I did believe in signs, I would be pretty convinced that "fate" is trying to give me a hard slap in the face.

I said at the beginning of the year that I wanted 2007 to be a year of change, and it seemed to come up in work when my manager came to me and asked if I wanted to start being a full-time employee. I got excited about the idea and talked to Jay, who also really supported it. My manager had told me how much they would give me an hour with a hefty raise, and Jay and I were both excited and anxious to have me work full time. He was going to quit his job and get a part time job so he could still watch the babies, and we were going to try to get him into school.

Well, I went on Friday and told my manager I would do it, and she came back at me with, "Um, that's not going to work after all."

At that point, the idea was planted, and Jay and I were both very disappointed when it didn't work out.

So I told Jay I thought maybe I should look for a full time job somewhere closer, and maybe we should get a paper on Sunday so I could see what was available.

Well, this morning when Jay was taking the garbage out, he saw that someone had thrown a Sunday paper onto our porch. Probably by accident. But we brought it inside.

Then we went and spent our Sunday with family, playing some games and watching the Superbowl. When we got home the paper was still sitting here, and Jay opened it while he made himself a snack. He was reading off job opportunites and there are a lot of them, full time, some of them say there's benefits. I'm still scared to make a big change like this, but I want to get my resume updated tomorrow to see what happens. I don't think I would be saying that if things hadn't worked out exactly the way they have, but they did.

So wish me luck!

Another Cheating Post

When I decided to blog everyday I should have been more aware of Saturday nights since I hardly have much to write about, and coming up with something is hard when Jay is home and in bed. So tonight, I'll cheat and post a family picture, and I'll try and be better tomorrow.
I'm having a Superbowl party tomorrow with Gary and Danae and the babies, but it's too bad. I love football, I've loved watching it since high school, and I get really into the games. Too bad I don't have a team to root for.

New Hair

I used mom's Christmas gift certificate to go and get my hair cut and colored yesterday. Megan, as always, did a great job and I really love the colors since I told her I wanted blonde and red streaks but wasn't really sure how that would turn out.
This second picture of me is dark, but it was the only one I liked since I had a really dorky smile in all the rest of them. Plus you get to see the great flower wallpaper in the bathroom, and that's always a good thing! Hooray for new hair!

Atypical

On Monday I had a couple of my moles biopsied. I was really nervous about it. I see these procedures all the time I knew exactly what was going to happen, but I still was nervous about getting the Lidocaine. I'm not really afraid of needles, but I've seen people's reactions when they're having the injection, and it made me worry.

I shouldn't have. It stung a little, but only for a second.

My doctor is really great and he was joking with us (I had Jay come with me for Lidocaine moral support.) the entire time, and once he was done I was really relieved to have it all over and done.

Or so I thought.

The pathology came back on them, or rather, my co-workers called and had it sent to us because they were sick of watching me pacing the halls. And at first I was excited by what I saw: Melanocytic Nevus, Compound Type. I don't know what that means except for that "Nevus" means "mole." But then I read on: "With mild to moderate atypia, see note." And the note we see says, "If this is a biopsy of a larger, clinically concerning legion, a conservative but complete reexcision would be prudent."

I like when it says "conservative but complete." Read, "You don't have to strip her of her skin as a whole, but make sure you get the entire mole." Thanks for that, guys.

So I get to go in again and have them taken off completely. If I was scared for the biopsy, this one has me holding my breath. They just cut an elliptical cut around the mole and then sew it shut again, but there's this point when they've taken the mole and layer of skin off and you're looking at the hole left behind. It's a little intimidating. And lucky me, I get two of them.

I'm glad I decided to just go ahead and get them checked. The way my doctor explained it, there's mild atypia, then moderate, then extreme, and then cancer. So I wasn't there yet, and not even on a clear cut road since atypia doesn't always lead to cancer, but this way they'll be gone and I won't have to worry about watching them.

And now you know more about the moles on my body than you care to. But hey, the good news is now I'll have a better shot at the Dr. Pepper overdose death I always dreamed of.