Memorial Day

One thing I'm really grateful for is the fact that my dad instilled in me a love and appreciation for people who are willing to put everything on the line for this country. I've been to Arlington Cemetery, I've seen the changing of the guard at the Tomb of the Unknown Soilder, and I've spent entire days with my dad in different cemeteries looking for Medal of Honor winners so that we can listen to their story after we find them. It amazes me how brave some people can be, and I'm touched by the selflessness of the people who are willing to do anything for what they believe in.
On Memorial Day this year I found myself thinking about two people specifically. The first was Allison's friend Heidi. She was in Iraq for over a year and missed important parts of her baby girl's life because of it. Being in the same situation now, I can imagine a bit better how hard it must've been for her to be so far away from her baby. I imagine it was hard to get through the day and she must've been counting the days until she could come home.
Secondly I think of Chris Kilpack. I think he's amazing because he joined the Army AFTER the war started. He knew what he was getting himself into and still wanted to go to defend the country and do what he believed in. I admire him, but I also admire the rest of the Kilpack family for supporting him. I've seen how much they've gone through, I can only imagine how hard it must be to worry about him.
I'm one of the people who doesn't support this war. I don't support the President who sent these people off to war and is leaving it up to a different President to bring them home. But I do support the troops.
The point of my post is that I know better than to think you have to give your life to sacrifice for this war. These people sacrifice their time, their safety, memories with their families that they'll never get back. I don't envy them, but I do admire them and their families. I hope this war ends soon, and I hope our soilders can come home safely.

I know I've arrived because....

They say some of the less glamorous parts of being a mom is when you get peed, pooped and puked on. Kameryn peed on me a couple weeks ago, and that one wasn't so bad. This morning, though, she managed to poo ALL OVER ME. I won't go into too much detail, but I have to say if there were a contest for projectile pooping or one for completely saturating your victim, I would enter her. And instead of getting mad, I was like, "Aww Kameryn!" But then I caught myself saying, "But good job! You didn't get ANY on the couch!"

The First Pancake

The first time I heard the theory of "the first pancake" was in the movie Pieces of April. Katie Holmes, April in the movie, is explaining the awful relationship she has with her mother, and says simply, "I'm the first pancake." The woman she's talking to doesn't seem to understand, and the woman's husband explains, "She's the one you should be able to throw out." It's pretty mortifying to think that people could feel this way about their children. It was even more mortifying when I had someone actually say it to me about MY daughter. I won't say who it was since the person is "sick of offending people when she doesn't mean to" and probably was just talking without thinking as usual, but she did say, while watching me and Jay with Kameryn, "Man, isn't it sad that your first baby can't just be like the first pancake? You know so much more with the second one." I don't even think I responded at all. What do you say to someone that just told you it's too bad you can't throw away your firstborn?
I don't fool myself into thinking that my life with Kameryn is going to be perfect. I know I won't be a perfect mom, and I don't expect the perfect child. I hope she knows that no matter what mistakes are made, I would never give her up or regret her.
And thankfully, even though I am new at this and awkward with all the new responsibility, I have a bunch of people around me to help me and who love my baby. My mom has been so amazing. She takes Kameryn for walks and always calls her "the little sweetheart." She takes her when I just need to give her to someone and sleep for an hour, and she's always incredibly patient, even when Kameryn is crying. When I get frustrated I go to my mom and watch how she is with the baby and try and copy that.

Our Daughter

Kameryn Lee Ertmann was born April 29, 2006 at 7:41 pm. She was 7 pounds, 13 ounces and 20 inches long. She has dark hair, dark blue eyes and some dark hair. I went to the hospital Saturday morning at around 10, was dialated to a 4 or 5, got my epidural, and got to relax for the rest of the day! I started pushing about an hour before she was born, and overall it was an awesome experience. Plus, she's so beautiful and Jay and I both are so addicted to her since she's been born. She's such an awesome and fun addition to our family.
She's got such a sweet personality, and she always makes us smile. The other day Jay was taking a band-aid off of her foot, and she didn't cry at all. I was praising her, and said, "Kameryn, you did so good! You didn't even cry!" And she raised both of her hands straight up in the air and then brought them down again, as if to say, "I know it, I'm the champion."
I already know she's going to grow up too fast...I can't believe she's already a week old. But she's such a delightful person to be around. Thanks to my family and friends. Everyone has been so supportive.