Friday, October 19, 2007
Silent All These Years
So it happened again yesterday that I was put in a situation that made me feel uncomfortable and instead of saying what I think, I froze. I can't believe how often that happens to me! It seems so weird that there are times when I can't even gather MY OWN thoughts to vocalize them. Then later when I'm by myself or washing the dishes or whatever I think of all the things I could've said, and the monologe inside my head goes on and on of all the things I couldn't think of before, almost to torture me. It probably sounds overly dramatic, but it's something I wish I could change. Why do I tend to be one of the last people willing to stand up for me?
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4 comments:
I have that problem too. If you need me to go beat someone up for you though, I'll do it. I'm not scared. ... and I'll kick 'er sir... :) Love you!
This happens to everyone. I do the exact same thing. Usually I try and use the lines I come up with while I am washing the dishes the next time I am in the situation. Usually these lines work: your making me uncomfortable, you've got to be kidding, and my favorite... oh ya, then we can set his pants on fire! These have helped me in the past, but even this weekend I was put into an awkward situation and was at a loss.
SSFB
I'm the queen of thinking of what I should have said 5 minutes later. This is actually called "flooding." You're so flooded with emotion, be it anger, shock, fear, whatever, that you just stand dumbfounded. Like SSFB said, it happens to everyone. One of your favorite Shakespearean characters, Benedick, describes feeling like this in "Much Ado About Nothing." Remember when Beatrice dances with him at the Masque, and tells him he is the prince's jester? Later, he's telling Don Pedro and the count about it, and he says, "She told me, not thinking I had been myself, that I was the prince's jester, that I was duller than a great thaw, huddling jest upon jest with such impossible conveyance upon me that I stood like a man at a mark, with a whole army shooting at me." This is a fabulous description of flooding, and whenever it happens to me, I hear Benedick in my head, "I stood like a man at a mark, with a whole army shooting at me."
I think SSFB is right. Use the times when you do think of what to say to replay the scenario in your mind, and say the things you think of. Actually practice it, even if it is only in your mind. The more you practice, the more likely you are to come up with it when you really need it.
I don't have this problem. I tend to say what I want, exactly when I want. Sometimes it gets me in trouble, but I have also found that with some people, they learn not to ever pick on me again. If you need help fighting with someone or coming up with a good comeback, I'll practice with ya. :)
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