The first time I heard the theory of "the first pancake" was in the movie Pieces of April. Katie Holmes, April in the movie, is explaining the awful relationship she has with her mother, and says simply, "I'm the first pancake." The woman she's talking to doesn't seem to understand, and the woman's husband explains, "She's the one you should be able to throw out." It's pretty mortifying to think that people could feel this way about their children. It was even more mortifying when I had someone actually say it to me about MY daughter. I won't say who it was since the person is "sick of offending people when she doesn't mean to" and probably was just talking without thinking as usual, but she did say, while watching me and Jay with Kameryn, "Man, isn't it sad that your first baby can't just be like the first pancake? You know so much more with the second one." I don't even think I responded at all. What do you say to someone that just told you it's too bad you can't throw away your firstborn?
I don't fool myself into thinking that my life with Kameryn is going to be perfect. I know I won't be a perfect mom, and I don't expect the perfect child. I hope she knows that no matter what mistakes are made, I would never give her up or regret her.
And thankfully, even though I am new at this and awkward with all the new responsibility, I have a bunch of people around me to help me and who love my baby. My mom has been so amazing. She takes Kameryn for walks and always calls her "the little sweetheart." She takes her when I just need to give her to someone and sleep for an hour, and she's always incredibly patient, even when Kameryn is crying. When I get frustrated I go to my mom and watch how she is with the baby and try and copy that.
4 comments:
That sounds like something tackless that Grandma would say. I love Kameryn too. If you don't want her, I will take her. =)
Hahahahah! OMG! That must have been the not-so-Great Grandma Hanna. Thank God Kameryn has her own new-and-improved Grandma Hanna!
I'm sorry that *someone* said that to you, Kjersti. That's terrible.
I've been working on trying to remember that most things that happen around me--even someone saying something totally hateful around/about me--usually have nothing to do with me. What is it about *that person* that would make her say such a thing? Instead of letting it get to you, just feel sorry for her, because in the end she's just telling you how miseralbe she is.
I think you rock, and I know you're going to be a great mom. I think Jay rocks too, just FYI.
The comment does smack of a perfectionist's attitude.
I think It's neat that babies all come with their own personality and way of dealing with life. They aren't little tabula rosa's we get to make anyway we want. They need all the love you can give them, and that helps them become the best person that they already are. Well, anyway, that's my way of thinking with no children of my own.
Kjersti, I think that is the CUTEST FIRST PANCAKE EVER!!!!!!!!! This coming from me, who doesn't even enjoy pancakes!! :) The first "pancake" is ALWAYS the best, trust me, I would know. :) I cannot WAIT to see her! Thanks for posting the pic, Abby and I squealed over it on Sunday. :) She's so adorable! I love the proud look on Jay's face...
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