So it's 12:37 and Kameryn just BARELY fell asleep. It was rough tonight, she was cuddly and tired, but also just energetic enough that she couldn't find a comfy spot, and even if she did, she couldn't hold still. That turned into her being tired and frustrated, wanting to lay in her soft crib but also wanting me to hold her. And then she started crying. The "I'm so frustrated and I can't fall asleep but I'm so tired" cry. I know it, because I've been there. And the times I remember from when she was a newborn are still burned into my brain in a way that makes me doubt I'll ever mistake that cry when I hear it.
I guess I'm blogging about it for a couple reasons. The first is quite simply to be proud of the fact that even though I wanted to just break down and bring her into bed with me, I didn't. That's really good for me because I'm a total sucker, especially nights like tonight when I'm tired too and I just want to get it over with.
The second reason is because I realized something this week that I'm also glad I'm sticking to: I found out, the hard way, that I don't sleep well when Kameryn sleeps with us. I'm afraid of her falling off the bed, and the ONLY spots she's comfortable in are the ones with her heading hanging off the side off the bed. Which makes sleeping lousy, at best, since I'm worried about her.
The other problem is that she likes to sleep sideways. Instead of cuddling with my baby like I used to, I have her feet in my side. Needless to say, I wake up almost as tired as when we went to sleep.
I've decided that I need her to sleep in her crib because we both sleep better that way. When we sleep better, we have more fun during the day. It's harder, but also a no brainer when I think about it this way.
I also have gotten a lot more comfortable with being with Kameryn while she falls asleep instead of letting her cry it out. I think the safer she feels, the faster she falls asleep. Since we're almost learning the crib thing over again, I'm cutting myself some slack and I figure that she'll get back to the place where I could put her down and walk away and it was okay. It works better for me to do it calmly and not force her into it. The stress level in the house is about 40 notches lower.
And lastly, I'm okay with doing it slow, and doing what's comfortable for us and not letting how other people do it dictate how we need to do it. Kami is like me in that way, she does things at her own pace, and I'm okay with that. I like the thought of her and I working together and finding what works for us more than I like feeling like I need to follow the book.
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Like they say, it would be a lot easier if a baby came with an owner's manual. But since they don't, we all have to muddle through somehow. If it is any comfort, I don't worry about getting Geoffrey to sleep anymore. In fact, it has been a long time since I was stressed and hassled about his sleeping habits. So just give it a few years. This problem solves itself eventually. :)
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