Monday, December 04, 2006

Faith

Danae and Gary blessed Isaac on Sunday, and I was really happy that I was there to support them. About halfway through, though, I started getting a little bit jealous. I almost wish that there was a way for me to get everyone together to appreciate Kameryn, and then make everyone sit down and listen quietly while I list off all the things I want for her in her life. (I hope that doesn't sound disrespectful to the blessing, I'm not trying to be sacreligious. I'm serious.)
As for what I want Kameryn to believe in, I don't have one particular thing in mind. The disadvantage to the position I have myself in is that what I believe in is so personal that I have trouble explaining it to anyone else. I don't even necesarilly need her to believe in the same things I do. I want her to find things she feels strongly about and build her own beliefs. I don't ever want her to feel alone, but I also don't want her to only be good out of fear or guilt. And I always want her to know I love her. I want her to love herself as much as I love her and not grow up doubting herself or settling for less than she's worth or less than what I know she can achieve.
I also feel bad that by not teaching her everything about one religion or even something about a lot of religions, I'm doing her a disservice. At the same time I like that it can be open for her to choose. And no matter what she chooses, I think I'll be happy for her as long as it's something she loves and feels comfortable with.
I'm really thankful that Kameryn will have such a diverse group of people around her who can all teach her and support her. I think the places I fall short can be made up with other people's input and examples.

2 comments:

Kimba said...

I think that if you explain to her how you feel, and be open and talk with her? She'll be able to make her own decision. She got a lot of great supporters around her, and she'll do just fine! :)

Danae said...

I was really happy to have all of you there! It meant so much to me! I almost didn't get up during testimony meeting since we all have such different beliefs, but then I thought to myself that my beliefs are just as valid as anyone else's. I felt like it was important to stand up and say what I believe in, not to convert anyone else, but because it moves me. I think Kameryn will definitely learn from our family to stand up for what she believes in, no matter what it may be.

I think you should organize a get together and we'll celebrate Kameryn! You don't have to do what we did in order to celebrate your baby girl! It will be like a birthday party, but not. We can all bring something to give Kameryn that we hope will one day help shape her into the person she's going to be. :) Just a thought...