THe Flipside

On the upside, sometimes not saying everything that comes into my head is a good thing. Today, I honestly had to resist the urge to say to a patient, "Man, for a big guy, you sure have little arms!"

Silent All These Years

So it happened again yesterday that I was put in a situation that made me feel uncomfortable and instead of saying what I think, I froze. I can't believe how often that happens to me! It seems so weird that there are times when I can't even gather MY OWN thoughts to vocalize them. Then later when I'm by myself or washing the dishes or whatever I think of all the things I could've said, and the monologe inside my head goes on and on of all the things I couldn't think of before, almost to torture me. It probably sounds overly dramatic, but it's something I wish I could change. Why do I tend to be one of the last people willing to stand up for me?

The Best She Can

I have to have some Dental work done, my appointment isn't until next Tuesday and I'm in pain for the meantime. I'm trying to control it with Advil and walking the line of never wanting to feel my throbbing tooth but also not wanting to overdose or hurt my stomach. Yesterday was the worst, probably because I finally went into the dentist and I somehow bulit it up in my mind that I just needed to wait for the appointment and the pain would be gone, only to have them take an X-ray, give me a prescription for Amoxicillan and send me on.

So at one point last night I just started crying. I consider myself pretty tough, but constant throbbing pain and feeling like there was nothing else I could do to help it left me feeling helpless. While the tears were coming down my face Kami ran over from where she was playing, climbed up on me and held my face in both her hands, wanting me to look at her. Then once I calmed down she hugged me and gave me kisses and wouldn't go play again until she was sure I was okay.

It's such an amazing feeling to love my little girl SO MUCH, and always be so proud of her and then realize on nights like tonight how much she's looking out for me, too. The best she can without saying a word.

Oops!

One night about a week ago Kameryn was entertaining herself by sticking these ducks to the wall. They had suction cups on the back because they were meant for giving the tub some texture. She would stick them on, and after awhile they would fall, and I noticed when they fell she'd say, "Oh chit!" Not believeing I had heard right, I told Jay what I thought she had said, and almost to prove me right, just then another duck fell down and she said it again. "Oh chit!"
Moral of the story: I need to learn to watch my mouth NOW, or get used to the idea of the mortified looks from other moms who realize that my daughter has learned to swear before learning how to say her own name.

Things About Me

These things never get old...

1. What time did you get up this morning? I think it was about 10:30. I usually get up earlier but it's Saturday and Kami didn't go to bed until 1 last night.
2. Diamonds or pearls? Diamonds
3. What was the last film you saw at the cinema? At the cinema??? Um, Superbad
4. What is your favorite TV show? Right now, Greys Anatomy thanks to Danae
5. What do you usually have for breakfast? Eggs and Toast
6. What is your middle name? Don't have a middle name
7. What kind of food do you dislike? Seafood, almost any kind. It grosses me out.
8. What is your favorite CD at the moment? My new Ani Difranco CD that Jay got me.
9. What kind of car do you drive? Nissan Sentra and a Pontiac Sunfire
10. Favorite sandwich? Turkey avacado or chicken salad
11. What characteristic do you despise? Rudeness
12. Favorite item of clothing? Comfy jeans
13. If you could go anywhere in the world on vacation, where would you go? Scotland
14. Where would you retire? In Seattle or Portland or maybe Alaska!
15. What was your most memorable birthday? 22nd
16. Favorite sport to watch? Football
17. Farthest place you are sending this? Through the depths of the internet
18. Person who will be the least likely to return this letter? ....yeah, about that, I kinda made it into a blog.
19. Favorite saying? I'm in love with most Ani Difranco lyrics. One of my favorites is "God help you if you are a pheonix, and you dare to rise up from the ash. A thousand eyes will smoulder with jealousy as you are just flying passed."
21. When is your birthday? 3/19/84
22. Are you a morning person or a night person? Night
23. Pets? None
24. What did you want to be when you were little? An actress
25. What are you today? I'm a medical assistant going to school to become an X-ray tech.
26. What is your favorite candy? chocolate
27. What is your favorite flower? Roses or Daisies
28. What is a day on the calendar you are looking forward to? Thanksgiving, a day I get to spend with my family.
29. What church do you attend? Currently, none
30. What are you listening to right now? Silence, both Jay and Kami are asleep.
31. What was the last thing you ate? Eggs in a Basket
32. If you were a crayon, what color would you be? Scarlett
33. How is the weather right now? Cold and Rainy
34 Last person you spoke to on the phone? Danae
35. Favorite soft drink? Dr. Pepper forever
36. Favorite restaurant? I always have a hard time with this one, but I'd say Iggy's or Johnny Carino's or Training Table since we have so much fun there. I'd much rather have food made at home.
37. Hair color? Brownish with streaks
38. Siblings? 2 brothers and 3 sisters
39. Favorite day of the year? Thanksgiving
40. What was your favorite toy as a child? I loved Puzzles. I'd sit at the coffee table and do the same 3 every day.
41. Summer or winter? Fall and Spring of course!
42. Hugs or kisses? Hugs
43. Chocolate or vanilla? Chocolate
44. Do you want your friends to email you back? Um yeah, about that...
45. When was the last time you cried? I am NOT the kind of person that cries during TV shows, that's for sure. And not Grey's Anatomy. Who would cry about that, that's stupid or something.
46. What is under your bed? Totes filled with pictures and things. When I have the money Amanda will come decorate and help me put them to use.
47. Who is the friend you have had the longest? Not counting sisters, Kim
48. What did you do last night? I watched Grey's Anatomy and Next Top Model and BEGGED Kami to finally go to sleep!
49. Favorite smell? Vanilla
50. What are you afraid of? Something happening to my family or unexpected expensive events.
51. Plain, buttered, or salted Popcorn? Buttered and Salted!
52. How many years at your current job? Just over 2
53. How many towns have you lived in? um, 3
54. Do you make friends easily? I'm getting better
55. How many people will you be sending this to? Whoever wants to read it...

Love Letter: Month 17

Kameryn, you have the cutest sense of humor! This month the two things that have really stood out to me as huge developments are that you've started telling jokes, and that you understand us so well. I can't believe how big you're getting and how much fun you are!We were sitting down to eat dinner one night and you were sitting in your highchair. You pointed at your dad and said "Daddy" but then looked and pointed at me and said "Daddy." You'd point to him, "Daddy" and then when you'd point to me and say it you'd start laughing, like you knew it was wrong and it was cracking you up. So often you make your daddy and me look at each other and laugh, you're so fun to be around and full of surprises.You love dancing so much that we have started taking you to a dance class on Thursday mornings. It's for kids 12-36 months, and is taught by our friend Amanda (YEAH!) You love being with the other kids, and since it's hard to teach kids that young to dance, we usually just run around. Anytime you do dance, though, you get the other parents and kids watching you. Today we went and Amanda was having us run around pretending to be airplanes, and then we would crash. You were running around and were cracking up when everyone crashed, and then finally after all the rest of us were on the floor you laid down on the floor on your stomach, but you couldn't stop laughing. There was only one other girl in the class today, and by the end you guys were hugging each other. There's another girl in the class named Eltey, and even though she's older than you, probably 4, she follows you around and when we were leaving a couple weeks ago she asked when she could see you again. She said, "I like her, she's a crazypants."This month you're getting another tooth on the bottom right, and I think you have the cutest smile ever. You're still getting better at eating, but the problem you run into now is that you like the taste of things so much you stuff a lot in your mouth, and then have to spit it out because it's more than you can swallow. You're so smart, you meow when you see a cat, and bark when you see pictures of dogs. If you hear a dog barking outside you'll point to where you heard the noise come from and bark. You love butterflies, and you love putting on your socks and shoes. Anytime we get them on you you look at your feet and say, "Walk walk walk." You love walking and like to hold both my and your dad's hand when walking down the street. You also LOVE chocolate, and know where to find it. The other day you got up on the table and crawled over to the cookie jar, knowing that's where we keep the kisses.Everyday when I come home from work when I walk in the door you say, "HI!" in a sweet, high voice, and then I come and hold you and you hug me so tight and laugh. We're best friends, you always snuggle with me and your dad. You're also started to be a big helper, anytime I'm putting clothes from the washer into the dryer I put them on the door and you love to push them in, and then when I tell you to you love to shut the dryer. It's so fun that you're old enough to start little rituals like that. You're so smart it amazes me. I feel so lucky to have you around. The more I get to know you, the more I love you which is weird, because I loved you with my whole heart the first time I saw you. Being with you reminds me of a quote from Lost In Translation when Bill Murray is talking about his kids, and he talks about how "the day the first one is born is the scariest day of your life. You're life as you know it is gone. But then they learn to walk and they learn to talk and they turn out to be the most amazing people. You want to be with them." That's how I feel, lucky to have such a smart, happy daughter that I love to be around.

Avoiding Lawsuits 101

For anyone that doesn't know, I'm currently a student. That's right, the kind that gets homework and has to be to class on time. The doctor I work for and mom both pitched in a bit to help get me enrolled in a radiology class, and when I'm done I'll be licensed to take X-rays at my clinic, much like Gary before he went back to school again. My first class was last Thursday, and the first class period was dedicated to the laws and ethics of radiology. My teacher, who's name is Dave and never did provide a last name, has worked in the hospital for 17 years and was telling us some of the lawsuits he's seen over the years.
Some were pretty basic: A man had one good lung and one that was collapsing and riddled with cancer...and the surgeon took out the wrong lung.
One he told us about happened a couple years ago. The circus came to town and one of their attractions was the world's fattest woman. He said she was 800+ pounds and she hadn't walked in 4 years. To have her in the show they had to use a crane to bring her on stage and then take her off. Well, one night something went wrong with the crane and she broke her hip. They brought her to the hospital and had to use the service elevator to take her upstairs because all the others would max out with her in them. They had to tie two hospital beds together with ropes and things and she still barely fit on the bed. After her surgery to fix her hip she was in the hospital for another week or so recovering when she got pneumonia. My teacher was called in to get an X-ray of her lungs, and he said him and the guy he was working with were both terribly embarassed because they had to do 6 different X-rays before they could even find her lungs. The woman was big, and the whole hospital was buzzing about her. The whole hospital....and a bunch of nurses who all went to Wendy's together to get lunch. They were talking and laughing about this woman...and her family was in the booth right behind them. I don't think I need to tell you who won that case!
Anyway, I really love school and I'm excited to learn all of this for the next 3 months!

Love Letter, Month 16

I can't believe how big you've gotten, how beautiful you are or how smart you've become! It seems that every month you get more personality exponentially, and I'm completely pleased with the sweet, sensitive girl you're becoming. You also definatly have an attitude. Of course I wouldn't have it any other way.There is quite a long list of words you say that I can understand. Possibly your most recently acquired word is actually a name, "Isaac," which when you say it sounds more like "Isee." You love your cousin so much you call out for him sometimes when you first wake up, and you've changed Mr. Quackers name to Isaac as well. You say his name so sweetly, in a high pitched, excited voice when he's actually around, and while we were in Veags you entertained all of us by kissing him over and over, holding both sides of his face so that you could kiss him right on the mouth. Other words you proudly say are the substitutes for "Grandma," "Butterfly," "Keys!" - which you always call for anytime we're walking out the door - and a recent favorite, "Thank you" which is actually more "Dank Doo." Even when you don't know how to say it, you are a master at getting your point across with different sounds and facial expressions. One night in Vegas we went to a Japanese restaurant that was a lot like Tapenyaki, and as the chef did our show you would coo, squeal and clap. For me, it was as entertaining to watch you as it was to watch him.At 16 months you've decided that you're a big girl and would like to be treated that way. You will scream and kick if we put you in a highchair in a restaruant, but then are easilly appeased if we put you in a chair with a booster seat. The one thing that you haven't moved on from is your bottle, which you still love and call for. We've tried to switch you to a sippy cup but haven't yet, mostly because your will is stronger than ours. I think we'll need to get our resolve up soon, but you're enjoying it in the meantime.

One of my favorite ways to pass time is to watch you dance. You LOVE to dance and you've definatly got some signature Kami dance moves. One is the "No Handed Headstand," in which you keep your legs straight, put your head on the ground and lift your hands up. This move is saved for only the most elite of occasions. Also, a move I think only you can really pull off, the squat. Essentially, you squat down and hold it. You don't move to the music at all, you let the squat do the talking. That's a favorite among your fans. You do a lot of arm work, sometimes spinnging your hands around each other, and you really get into hip movements, sometimes popping a hip an holding it, just waiting for the music to start. (This picture doesn't quite do it justice, but this is during some of your hip-shaking dancing.)

Isaac still has double the teeth you have. You've spent the last month growing your other top tooth so you're mouth is more even again. You love to bite on things and sometimes us, without the intention of actually hurting us. You're still working on mastering the art of eating, you swallow a much bigger percentage of your food with one catch: If we're giving you something you think tastes really good, you keep asking for more, holding it all in your mouth until your mouth is too full and you spit everything out. Your favorite foods right now are still pasta and you love funeral potatoes, but since you're a big girl you prefer to have your own food with your own utensils to eat in, and when you're done if there's any left over you're a big fan of dumping said food all over the table or highchair and smearing it around with your hands. That old trick never gets old. You love cats. Also, to my despair, you love dogs and will make a barking sound anytime you see or hear one. At Grandma's house you love to be close to the cats, sometimes touching them but mostly just following them around saying "Hi Kitty!" You squeal anytime you see one, and upon hearing the squeal all of the other cats run outside or under the bed. Nothing deters you're love for animals, though, and I bet that will stay with you as you get older.

You're such a sweet girl. You love your family and you're always giving kisses, sometimes going around a group several times before wanting to stop. You hum the "M" sound, that's the cue that you want a kiss, and sometimes when I bring you into bed with me you wake me up by kissing me and stoking my hair and face. I hope someday you know just how incredible it is to be woken up that way by your son or daughter, because words can't even describe how amazing it feels. You light everything up for me. You're still constantly teaching me, but as I watch you get older and learn more, I can't help but just be more proud of you.

Loving the Bud

So today I had to type in blogger.com, it's been so long since I've actually blogged anything that it's not in my pull down menu anymore. So, need to blog more often, I get it. I actually have a cool story, but this morning I will not be telling it and instead will do a cheater blog made possible by pictures of my sweetest girl.

Kameryn loves Geoffrey. She always wants him to hold her and if she can be close to him, she's perfectly content. Shown here:

I've Been Tagged

So, Kim tagged me to write my answers to this meme. First time I've ever been "tagged" to do anything. Compared to hers mine will be pretty boring, but here it goes:

5 Things I was Doing 10 Years Ago
1. In all fairness, I don't have the clearest memories of when I was 13. But about this time, I was taking pictures of EVERYTHING. I would take my camera with me everywhere, and frequently call my friends over to have a "photo shoot."
2. I was listening to the Spice Girls and loved to come home and do my homework while watching The Box, which was a channel of music videos and people just had to call and pay to request one. I still remember that the code for the "Wannabe" music video was 325. I never said I was cool.
3. During the summer about this time I would stay over at my friend Abby's house until about 2-3 in the morning, go home and sleep until about 2 in the afternoon and then repeat. We would spend afternoons playing Nerts and jumping on the tramp and I remember sitting in the bathroom many a time while one or the other of my friends were shaving their legs.
4. I was in Junior High at Millcreek Elementary and I hated it. I was in two different choirs, which was fun, but I ditched school often.
5. It was also about this time that I got the worst grade of all time up until that point, which was a D in Science. A lot of my grade was based on building and shooting off a rocket, and I think I turned it in on the last day of school. Science has never been my forte.
5 Things On My To-Do List Today
1. Clean my apartment, with the main focus on doing dishes and laundry. The weekend is the time I try to clean, and then we can spend the whole week messing it up again, though with Kameryn it only takes about 4 hours to trash the place.
2. GET PAID! Then we will celebrate our newly acquired money by spending it on getting Jay some more tattoos.
3. Write more letters.
4. Call the DATC to find out more about taking the radiology class so I can take X-rays at work.
5. Grocery shopping for milk, eggs and stamps, at least.
5 Snacks I Enjoy
1. The Spinach and Artichoke Dip you can ONLY get at Costco. It's a good thing we don't get it too often, because I'm addicted.
2. Dr. Pepper: my most trusted, go-to snack.
3. Chips and Queso: the ultimate snack while watching episodes of Lost one after another.
4. Chocolate, anytime, any kind.
5. Those new chocolate chip cookies with chocolate on the bottom. I think Chelsee and Geoff will back me up on that one. Another Lost watching favorite.
5 Songs I Know the Lyrics To
Jay makes fun of me because I know at least some lyrics to most songs, and yes, I will sing along even if I don't like the song. I don't think that's too unusual. If I need to narrow it down to 5, it would look like this:
1. "You Oughta Know" by Alanis Morsette
2. "Amen" by Paula Cole
3. "Not a Pretty Girl" by Ani Difranco
4. "The Hand that Feeds" by NIN
5. "Shimmer" by Fuel
5 Things I Would Do If I were A Millionaire
1. Pay off my debt!!!
2. Pay for both Jay and me to go back to school. He wants to go back and learn achitecture, and in the meantime I would love to take some fun classes, like Spanish and learning to play the Guitar and Psychology.
3. I would go to Europe. There's so much I want to see. If I could only choose one place to go, though, it would be Scotland. And I'd totally stop by Loch Ness.
4. I'd buy a coffee shop for anyone that still would want to help run it and a hotel for my mom. A Bed and Breakfast, right Mom? That way we'd both have our dream jobs.
5. I'd go somewhere beautiful where I felt inspired and write a book.
5 Bad Habits
1. I frequently stay up at night checking blogs or writing letters or cleaning the house when I know I should get to bed.
2. I drink Dr. Pepper ALL THE TIME.
3. I spend money without thinking and regret it later.
4. I'm late. For everything.
5. I watch a lot of TV. Hopefully that will change because Hell's Kitchen and So You Think You Can Dance are over, but while they're on I watch them religiously.
5 Things I'd Never Wear Again
1. Body Suits. I think that may be going back to Elementary School, but it was the first thing that came to mind.
2. Stirrup Pants
3. I bought a HIDEOUS shirt from 5 Points Mall once, it was white with tassels and beads on it, and I only wore it to school once...but it was picture day.
4. Banana Hair Clips
5. And for something I won't ever wear currently - those rubber/plastic looking shoes that have the holes all over them. Do you know which ones I mean? Yes, I've heard that they're light and comfortable. But they're SO UGLY.
5 Favorite Toys
1. My Camera
2. Laptop, though it is still infected.
3. My mom's CD burner that I only leanred how to use a couple days ago.
4. Super Nintendo with Donkey Kong and Donkey Kong Country.
5. My favorite toy of Kami's is the Sesame Street one that sing the "C is for Cookie," "Rubber Ducky" and "Oh, I Love Trash" songs.
4 Jobs I've Had
1. Bagger at Dick's Market. I kept that job for 3 months.
2. Ice Cream Scooper at Baskin Robbins.
3. Arctic Circle, baby. I LOVED the people there, but anytime anyone came in that I knew I was completely horrified.
4. Currently: Medical Assistant. I may complain about it from time to time, but I really love it. I love constantly learning while I'm working, I love working around such smart people, and I love knowing that I do my job well.
4 Movies I Can Watch Over and Over
1. Shawshank Redemption, as long as I can fast forward the guards beating that guy in the beginning.
2. Good Will Hunting.
3. Chicago. I love the music in it, and it's the one I put in most often when I'm cleaning and want to listen to something.
4. Little Miss Sunshine!!!
4 Places I've Lived
This is where I start showing how boring I am:
1. Bountiful, UT
2. Salt Lake City, UT
3. North Salt Lake, UT
4. I did stay with my friend in Pennsylvania for a month, and I'm counting it.
4 Shows I Enjoy
1. So You Think You Can Dance? I love this show so much. Some dances on it make me want to cry.
2. LOST! PLEASE COME BACK ON!
3. Hell's Kitchen
4. Scrubs! SO FUNNY!
4 Places I've Been On Vacation
1. New York City, New York. We saw a bunch of Broadway and I loved every second of it.
2. Washington, D.C.
3. Seattle, Washington. This is where we honeymooned, and I would go back in a heartbeat.
4. Lancaster, Pennsylvania. I actually got to see fireflys and they're about the coolest thing ever.
4 Favorite Restaurants
1. Tapanyaki. Good food and the show is halarious.
2. Johnny Carino's. I'm a sucker for Italian and they are SO GOOD.
3. Iggy's Sports Bar. Even when we get the new waiter and he drops our food about 20 feet from the table.
4. Bajio's. That's the only place where my normal order is a salad.

Just a Little Joke...

The other night Jay and I decided to take Kameryn on a drive to help get her to sleep. We knew once in the car she would fall asleep quickly as she had been playing hard with her Aunt Chelsee, Uncle Geoff and Grandma Hanna most the night. When we got into the car, that same smell was there again, only stronger. Our car is VERY old, and truthfully, sometimes after it rains it gets a sort of dirty-shoe musk that lasts for a couple hours. That's what I had chalked this smell up to, against my better judgement because it hasn't been raining, but sitting in the car I knew that it wasn't that. Something was so very wrong. This smell was no where near a musk, it was a straight out offence.

So Jay got out and started looking through the backseat trying to find the culprit and after a minute he said, "Oh, there it is. There's a fish back here."

Um, WHAT?!

Apparently a guy he works with used that as his latest prank in an ongoing game betweeen the two of them. He really must've just thought it would be funny and wasn't trying to be too coldhearted because he left the fish in it's package so once we found it there wouldn't be too much to cleaning it up.

But come ON, who thinks it's funny to leave a fish in someone's car?! There's an aspect of the male mentallity that I don't think I'll EVER understand.

Quick Update

It's been awhile since I've posted because I've been using the posting time for writing actual letters. Real handwritten ones, with the stamp and everything. I've been thinking about it since I read "The Letter Project" website, and I agree that hand-writing letters is quickly becoming a lost art.
If anyone wants me to write them a letter, let me know, I'd be happy to.
In other news, we re-did Jay's resume today and are going to be actively trying to get him a new, normal, daytime, weekends-off type job. This ultimately means that I'll most likely go full time also and we'll have to put Kami in daycare. That will be the hardest part. We still are trying to get Jay into school, though, and we want to get him in by Janurary. If we can do it, it will be worth it.
That's all for tonight, I'm afraid. I'll post again soon.

Love Letter, Month 15

Kameryn, This is my favortie picture of you right now, (taken by Chelsee) because it sums this month up pretty well. At this point you seem to have two moods: The one pictured above, and your sleepy tantrum-filled mood. Luckilly, you're usually such a happy baby that loves to dance around and talk endlessly and laugh and give high-fives. And the tantrums? We're getting better at handling those, too.
I'm starting to think that you're 15 months going on 12 years. This month you've given me a glimpse into my life years from now when you're a teenager, and I'm happy to report that at least we have 13 years before that point, and honey, there's no rush. I say this because almost mysteriously your favorite thing to do has been to pretend to talk on the phone. You walk around with our cell phone (which doesn't work, luckilly) talking and laughing. You love to push the buttons on the real phone, and your favorite person to talk to is that one that will come on if you just wait long enough. You're best friend: "If you'd like to make a call..." You talk to her intently, and then the beeping starts that would tell anyone else that the phone was off the hook, but you know better. It's a punchline to an awesome joke, and when you hear it you bust up laughing.You've gotten better at eating, and I'm happy to report that you've gotten better at swallowing the food you put in your mouth. Your favorite food right now is cheese, any kind of cheese, and you'll sit contentedly and eat all the cheese we'll give you. We also let you have ice cream the other day while visiting Chelsee, and we broke down and had her fill a small cup of whipped cream for you, and you easilly could've died happy. You are so good at using both a spoon and a fork, and you will happily play with them even when you're done eating. I get so proud of all the progress you've made, and now we just need to work on going from a bottle to a sippy cup. This might get ugly.Lately you have become the master of imitation. There was one day that I was carrying you and two garbage bags out to the dumpster, and as we were coming back I said, "Wow, that was kinda hard because those were heavy, and you're getting so heavy!" But then I flexed with my other arm and made the grunting, "I'm so strong" sound, and you did it right after me! You honestly crack me up. You'll copy me with almost anything, though, trying to imitate what I do and the sounds I make. I think you're so amazingly cute and so smart!This month you've really showed us how big your heart is and how much you love your cousin Isaac. We were over at Gary and Danae's house playing and Isaac was sleeping upstairs. When he woke up he started to cry, and you looked around for him but couldn't see him, and you started BAWLING, so concerned that he was upset and you couldn't help. Even after Gary went upstairs and got him, you wouldn't stop crying until you SAW him, just to make sure he was okay.
Jay also says that the two of you are thick as theives. You will spend your time finding toys for Isaac to play with and giving them to him, and you'll cry if you're not in the same room as him. We all knew you guys would be friends, we just didn't realize how close you would be!

Unlike Isaac, though, who is 5 months younger and now has 8(!) teeth, you have three and are currently cutting the other top tooth. You love to use them to break off bread and you've even bitten a parent or two. We're still desperately hoping that you've got your dad's teeth and not mine, but that is something only time will tell. Kami girl, I love you so much. I'm so proud of all that you're learning and how smart and fun you are. You seem to be both very independant and also such a lover, and I think you have the sweetest spirit. I can never do you justice in these blogs, and today is no exception, but know that I think you're amazing, and I hope you keep dancing and living and loving the way that you do now.

Small Blurb

Off to the side of my Hotmail inbox are the MSN articles that they want to catch your eye, and one of them tonight says "How to Survive a Kidnapping." I'm one of those people that looks at it and rolls my eyes, and if I ever were kidnapped and in the trunk of the car I'd think about it and be like, "Damnit! Should've read it..."

First Looks

I know that I'm the queen of doing things late, ie getting my wedding video 2 years later. This isn't QUITE as bad as that one, I'm only 15 months late, and I think that's a step in the right direction.
When I went to the hospital - in labor and dialated to a 5 - I was convinced they were going to check me and send me home again. I was so convinced of it that I didn't take anything with me - including a camera. The hospital had one and they took these pictures, which I hadn't seen until today.
And for the record, I don't think you should take a picture of a woman that's just given birth.

Looking at these, it's so easy to remember the amazement of having a baby and looking at her and reveling in how perfect she is, and it all seems like such a sacred miracle. This day changed the rest of my life, but I wouldn't dare take it back.

Not Kidding

Yesterday was another day when the bad news comes in threes. It actually started a week ago when Mom's car broke down on their way home from Cedar City. We have two cars and we mostly just use whichever has the most gas, so we were fortunately able to lend her one of our cars for the past week, and it hasn't been a big deal at all.

Until last night.

Around 8:30 we decided to drive over to Chelsee's to give her a vaccuum that Jay's parents were going to give away. We noticed that the car was acting funny, but just that the speedometer wasn't working right. Jay noticed that it popped up when he turned on the turn signal, and then dropped again when he hit the brake. And we stopped at a stoplight, and the car was dead. Luckilly, we were on 2600 where there's a slight hill, so he was able to get the car to coast fast enough and then turn into a parking lot and into a parking spot. I was lucky he was there, because there's no way I'd be strong enough to do it.

So we walked down to Chelsee's, a little annoyed but realizing how much worse it could be, and from there we called Jay's parents to ask if we could borrow their car. They said we could, so we drove up there and got the car from them, and Jay's dad said that he would drive over to where our car had broken down to follow Jay and tow him if he had to so we could get the car to a mechanic.

We sat at the restaruant and waited for him. It had gotten late, it had gotten dark, and Jay still had to be to work at midnight. We honestly didn't know what was taking him so long, he should've been right behind us.

Then Jay's aunt and uncle turn into the parking lot - completely unexpected- and tell us that no, he's not coming and on top of that, they need their car back because his truck won't start.

Come on.

We got it figured out, Mom is riding to work with Chelsee and we'll just take our other car back, but the hassle of all of it made it so Jay got about 45 minutes of sleep before he had to go to work. And now we have the added bonus of needing to get our car towed this morning and fixed -AGAIN.

I know it could be a lot worse. However I can't deny all the parallels I saw to a bad sitcom last night.

HAPPY BIRTHDAY CHELSEE!

Chelsee, you're beautiful and fun to be around and I'm so proud of your work ethic and how you're getting back into school. You're so talented, you make amazing cakes and take beautiful pictures. You've always been such a good Aunt to Kameryn, I know how much she loves you and how much she loves to have you around. She's content to have your head against hers with her hand in your hair.

You have always been there for me and Jay, and you've helped us out too many times to remember. We both really appreciate it. We love you so much!

This Is Why I Don't Cook

I don't cook. I can make some mean fried eggs, and you can count on me for spaghetti or anything with instructions on the back of the box when I just need to add butter, water and milk. With those receipies, I'm golden.
On the 24th, Jay went to bed at three in the afternoon, exhausted from his weekend spent reading Harry Potter. At the same time that he fell asleep, Kameryn went down for an axiously awaited, long overdue nap. And just like that, I had an afternoon to myself. I did a few different things before the brillance dawned on me that I wanted to make something. I decided on a cake, washed the dishes and then started getting stuff out. I'm sure the cake would've worked, had I stuck to the plan. My logic for that conclusion is that the ingredients are listed on the back of the box. Add water, oil and an egg and I'm golden.
But no, I decide I want to be even more creative, so I pull out a book I got as a wedding gift called "101 Things to Do With a Cake Mix" and from there decide on some cakey-cream cheesy bars that I've made before and turned out pretty well. So I'm getting everything together, and it gets to the point where I need to grease the pan and put my creation into the oven.
So I pull some Western Family Shortening out of the cupboard, grab a paper towel and begin to spread it around. My first clue that something is wrong comes from the fact that it's more sticky than anything, it doesn't spread well at all. I get a little bit more on the paper towel and this time when I'm looking at the shortening I notice that it's sort of clear. Weird. I remember it being white.
I think the thing that FINALLY got me was the smell. The smell of shortening, but amplified until it's almost too much to take.
So I look at the can again, trying to find an expiration date. I find it. April 2003.

After this realization I notice another sign that should have steered me away from the goop before I spread it all over. The label is completely saturated. So the thought should've been, "Hey, why is shortening on my hands before I've even taken the lid off the can?" Yeah. I told you I don't cook much.

It took about 7 good, hard scrubbings before I got the nastiness off my hands, and while I'm standing there scrubbing I realize that I must've bought this shortening when I lived in Salt Lake, before I got married. I've lived in two apartments since then AND with my mom for a year. And thankfully I had the shortening in a box somewhere, JUST IN CASE, that whole time. By the time we unpacked it when we moved here it had been expired for 3 years already. But yeah, we just put it up in the cupboard.

So maybe it's time to work on this whole pack-rat thing.

*****Mom mentioned in her comment that I didn't say how the cakey cream cheesy bars turned out. I didn't use the shortening pan to cook them in, luckilly. However, they still turned out to be pretty tasteless in the end. I would've been more disappointed but I was making funeral potatoes at the same time, something I love but have never made before, and they turned out awesome...even if I did buy frosted flakes instead of corn flakes to go on top....*****

Crazy Dreams

Harry Potter is everywhere. So I'm sure I'm not the only person who was dreaming about him last night. But while most people are dreaming about wizards and spells and wands and magic potions, my mind went to an interview I heard on NPR yesterday with Michael Moore, so I dreamed that Harry Potter was denied Health Insurance.
I think I'll call it "The More Practical Harry Potter - If Potter Can't Get Health Insurance, Who Can?" or, more simply, "Harry Potter, the Sicko."

Blog Challange

I have all my favorite blogs listed in my Favorites and I check them nearly every day. I find it really entertaining and relaxing. I admit, I have two in here that are blogs I've come across for people I have never met, and I still read them religiously. One of these blogs is Unabashedlyheatherlynn.blogspot.com, and Heather is an English teacher in PA. In true English teacher fashion, she gives "Wednesday Blog Challanges" and she picks a theme that she would like you to write about. The one for last week was confessions.

Confess away. It could be anything. You don't pay your bills on time. You haven't eaten a vegetable in three years. You don't know your times tables. You wear the same underwear two days in a row. You haven't yet washed the pot that's been in your sink for the past two months. Your neighbors complain because you mow your lawn too infrequently. You kiss your pet on the mouth. You talk to yourself out loud - and answer yourself. You're wearing your old e-rings and wedding band just because they look pretty and happened to be right next to the computer (*blush*).

Obviously I don't usually blog my answers to them, even though they do get me thinking, but tonight I figure, What the Heck? So here it is, a list of confessions you may or may not know about me:

I am TERRIBLE at Geography. I think I've admitted to this before, but I don't have the foggiest idea what is where. It's not that I haven't tried to learn, it just doesn't stick with me for some reason.

I also still check my hands to know right from left. It's more of a comfort thing than anything. I don't do it the typical way, I know that my scar is on my left hand, so I'll glance at my left hand, see the scar and know that it's right. (Ha!)

I LOVED being pregnant. I loved it so much I get jealous when I see pregnant women, which I know isn't the typical response. There is something so amazing about being pregnant, and I was always so proud of what my body was capable of doing. Getting pregnant again soon isn't a good idea for me, but I can't wait until I am again.

I never pay my bills on time. I don't think anyone is surprised by that one.

More than that, though, I never do ANYTHING on time, let alone early. I heard once that people who are chronically late are trying to let people know that they can't be controlled, a "I'll get there when I want to get there" sort of attitude, but I don't think that's the explination in my case - I just procrastinate.

I cry ALL THE TIME. And it's not crying because I'm sad most of the time, I cry when I'm moved by something. And it's no holds barred, I'm afraid, it can be a movie, or a TV show, or a commercial, or Story Corps or the news. Anything.

I'm a pack rat, and in my mind, I'm the worst kind. I keep things in case I need them one day, but worse than that, I almost don't know what's important to keep and what can be thrown out when it comes to papers and receipts, so I keep everything.

And I'll give you a last one and then wrap this up: I think that if Harry Potter lives I'll consider reading the books.