Loving the Bud

So today I had to type in blogger.com, it's been so long since I've actually blogged anything that it's not in my pull down menu anymore. So, need to blog more often, I get it. I actually have a cool story, but this morning I will not be telling it and instead will do a cheater blog made possible by pictures of my sweetest girl.

Kameryn loves Geoffrey. She always wants him to hold her and if she can be close to him, she's perfectly content. Shown here:

I've Been Tagged

So, Kim tagged me to write my answers to this meme. First time I've ever been "tagged" to do anything. Compared to hers mine will be pretty boring, but here it goes:

5 Things I was Doing 10 Years Ago
1. In all fairness, I don't have the clearest memories of when I was 13. But about this time, I was taking pictures of EVERYTHING. I would take my camera with me everywhere, and frequently call my friends over to have a "photo shoot."
2. I was listening to the Spice Girls and loved to come home and do my homework while watching The Box, which was a channel of music videos and people just had to call and pay to request one. I still remember that the code for the "Wannabe" music video was 325. I never said I was cool.
3. During the summer about this time I would stay over at my friend Abby's house until about 2-3 in the morning, go home and sleep until about 2 in the afternoon and then repeat. We would spend afternoons playing Nerts and jumping on the tramp and I remember sitting in the bathroom many a time while one or the other of my friends were shaving their legs.
4. I was in Junior High at Millcreek Elementary and I hated it. I was in two different choirs, which was fun, but I ditched school often.
5. It was also about this time that I got the worst grade of all time up until that point, which was a D in Science. A lot of my grade was based on building and shooting off a rocket, and I think I turned it in on the last day of school. Science has never been my forte.
5 Things On My To-Do List Today
1. Clean my apartment, with the main focus on doing dishes and laundry. The weekend is the time I try to clean, and then we can spend the whole week messing it up again, though with Kameryn it only takes about 4 hours to trash the place.
2. GET PAID! Then we will celebrate our newly acquired money by spending it on getting Jay some more tattoos.
3. Write more letters.
4. Call the DATC to find out more about taking the radiology class so I can take X-rays at work.
5. Grocery shopping for milk, eggs and stamps, at least.
5 Snacks I Enjoy
1. The Spinach and Artichoke Dip you can ONLY get at Costco. It's a good thing we don't get it too often, because I'm addicted.
2. Dr. Pepper: my most trusted, go-to snack.
3. Chips and Queso: the ultimate snack while watching episodes of Lost one after another.
4. Chocolate, anytime, any kind.
5. Those new chocolate chip cookies with chocolate on the bottom. I think Chelsee and Geoff will back me up on that one. Another Lost watching favorite.
5 Songs I Know the Lyrics To
Jay makes fun of me because I know at least some lyrics to most songs, and yes, I will sing along even if I don't like the song. I don't think that's too unusual. If I need to narrow it down to 5, it would look like this:
1. "You Oughta Know" by Alanis Morsette
2. "Amen" by Paula Cole
3. "Not a Pretty Girl" by Ani Difranco
4. "The Hand that Feeds" by NIN
5. "Shimmer" by Fuel
5 Things I Would Do If I were A Millionaire
1. Pay off my debt!!!
2. Pay for both Jay and me to go back to school. He wants to go back and learn achitecture, and in the meantime I would love to take some fun classes, like Spanish and learning to play the Guitar and Psychology.
3. I would go to Europe. There's so much I want to see. If I could only choose one place to go, though, it would be Scotland. And I'd totally stop by Loch Ness.
4. I'd buy a coffee shop for anyone that still would want to help run it and a hotel for my mom. A Bed and Breakfast, right Mom? That way we'd both have our dream jobs.
5. I'd go somewhere beautiful where I felt inspired and write a book.
5 Bad Habits
1. I frequently stay up at night checking blogs or writing letters or cleaning the house when I know I should get to bed.
2. I drink Dr. Pepper ALL THE TIME.
3. I spend money without thinking and regret it later.
4. I'm late. For everything.
5. I watch a lot of TV. Hopefully that will change because Hell's Kitchen and So You Think You Can Dance are over, but while they're on I watch them religiously.
5 Things I'd Never Wear Again
1. Body Suits. I think that may be going back to Elementary School, but it was the first thing that came to mind.
2. Stirrup Pants
3. I bought a HIDEOUS shirt from 5 Points Mall once, it was white with tassels and beads on it, and I only wore it to school once...but it was picture day.
4. Banana Hair Clips
5. And for something I won't ever wear currently - those rubber/plastic looking shoes that have the holes all over them. Do you know which ones I mean? Yes, I've heard that they're light and comfortable. But they're SO UGLY.
5 Favorite Toys
1. My Camera
2. Laptop, though it is still infected.
3. My mom's CD burner that I only leanred how to use a couple days ago.
4. Super Nintendo with Donkey Kong and Donkey Kong Country.
5. My favorite toy of Kami's is the Sesame Street one that sing the "C is for Cookie," "Rubber Ducky" and "Oh, I Love Trash" songs.
4 Jobs I've Had
1. Bagger at Dick's Market. I kept that job for 3 months.
2. Ice Cream Scooper at Baskin Robbins.
3. Arctic Circle, baby. I LOVED the people there, but anytime anyone came in that I knew I was completely horrified.
4. Currently: Medical Assistant. I may complain about it from time to time, but I really love it. I love constantly learning while I'm working, I love working around such smart people, and I love knowing that I do my job well.
4 Movies I Can Watch Over and Over
1. Shawshank Redemption, as long as I can fast forward the guards beating that guy in the beginning.
2. Good Will Hunting.
3. Chicago. I love the music in it, and it's the one I put in most often when I'm cleaning and want to listen to something.
4. Little Miss Sunshine!!!
4 Places I've Lived
This is where I start showing how boring I am:
1. Bountiful, UT
2. Salt Lake City, UT
3. North Salt Lake, UT
4. I did stay with my friend in Pennsylvania for a month, and I'm counting it.
4 Shows I Enjoy
1. So You Think You Can Dance? I love this show so much. Some dances on it make me want to cry.
2. LOST! PLEASE COME BACK ON!
3. Hell's Kitchen
4. Scrubs! SO FUNNY!
4 Places I've Been On Vacation
1. New York City, New York. We saw a bunch of Broadway and I loved every second of it.
2. Washington, D.C.
3. Seattle, Washington. This is where we honeymooned, and I would go back in a heartbeat.
4. Lancaster, Pennsylvania. I actually got to see fireflys and they're about the coolest thing ever.
4 Favorite Restaurants
1. Tapanyaki. Good food and the show is halarious.
2. Johnny Carino's. I'm a sucker for Italian and they are SO GOOD.
3. Iggy's Sports Bar. Even when we get the new waiter and he drops our food about 20 feet from the table.
4. Bajio's. That's the only place where my normal order is a salad.

Just a Little Joke...

The other night Jay and I decided to take Kameryn on a drive to help get her to sleep. We knew once in the car she would fall asleep quickly as she had been playing hard with her Aunt Chelsee, Uncle Geoff and Grandma Hanna most the night. When we got into the car, that same smell was there again, only stronger. Our car is VERY old, and truthfully, sometimes after it rains it gets a sort of dirty-shoe musk that lasts for a couple hours. That's what I had chalked this smell up to, against my better judgement because it hasn't been raining, but sitting in the car I knew that it wasn't that. Something was so very wrong. This smell was no where near a musk, it was a straight out offence.

So Jay got out and started looking through the backseat trying to find the culprit and after a minute he said, "Oh, there it is. There's a fish back here."

Um, WHAT?!

Apparently a guy he works with used that as his latest prank in an ongoing game betweeen the two of them. He really must've just thought it would be funny and wasn't trying to be too coldhearted because he left the fish in it's package so once we found it there wouldn't be too much to cleaning it up.

But come ON, who thinks it's funny to leave a fish in someone's car?! There's an aspect of the male mentallity that I don't think I'll EVER understand.

Quick Update

It's been awhile since I've posted because I've been using the posting time for writing actual letters. Real handwritten ones, with the stamp and everything. I've been thinking about it since I read "The Letter Project" website, and I agree that hand-writing letters is quickly becoming a lost art.
If anyone wants me to write them a letter, let me know, I'd be happy to.
In other news, we re-did Jay's resume today and are going to be actively trying to get him a new, normal, daytime, weekends-off type job. This ultimately means that I'll most likely go full time also and we'll have to put Kami in daycare. That will be the hardest part. We still are trying to get Jay into school, though, and we want to get him in by Janurary. If we can do it, it will be worth it.
That's all for tonight, I'm afraid. I'll post again soon.

Love Letter, Month 15

Kameryn, This is my favortie picture of you right now, (taken by Chelsee) because it sums this month up pretty well. At this point you seem to have two moods: The one pictured above, and your sleepy tantrum-filled mood. Luckilly, you're usually such a happy baby that loves to dance around and talk endlessly and laugh and give high-fives. And the tantrums? We're getting better at handling those, too.
I'm starting to think that you're 15 months going on 12 years. This month you've given me a glimpse into my life years from now when you're a teenager, and I'm happy to report that at least we have 13 years before that point, and honey, there's no rush. I say this because almost mysteriously your favorite thing to do has been to pretend to talk on the phone. You walk around with our cell phone (which doesn't work, luckilly) talking and laughing. You love to push the buttons on the real phone, and your favorite person to talk to is that one that will come on if you just wait long enough. You're best friend: "If you'd like to make a call..." You talk to her intently, and then the beeping starts that would tell anyone else that the phone was off the hook, but you know better. It's a punchline to an awesome joke, and when you hear it you bust up laughing.You've gotten better at eating, and I'm happy to report that you've gotten better at swallowing the food you put in your mouth. Your favorite food right now is cheese, any kind of cheese, and you'll sit contentedly and eat all the cheese we'll give you. We also let you have ice cream the other day while visiting Chelsee, and we broke down and had her fill a small cup of whipped cream for you, and you easilly could've died happy. You are so good at using both a spoon and a fork, and you will happily play with them even when you're done eating. I get so proud of all the progress you've made, and now we just need to work on going from a bottle to a sippy cup. This might get ugly.Lately you have become the master of imitation. There was one day that I was carrying you and two garbage bags out to the dumpster, and as we were coming back I said, "Wow, that was kinda hard because those were heavy, and you're getting so heavy!" But then I flexed with my other arm and made the grunting, "I'm so strong" sound, and you did it right after me! You honestly crack me up. You'll copy me with almost anything, though, trying to imitate what I do and the sounds I make. I think you're so amazingly cute and so smart!This month you've really showed us how big your heart is and how much you love your cousin Isaac. We were over at Gary and Danae's house playing and Isaac was sleeping upstairs. When he woke up he started to cry, and you looked around for him but couldn't see him, and you started BAWLING, so concerned that he was upset and you couldn't help. Even after Gary went upstairs and got him, you wouldn't stop crying until you SAW him, just to make sure he was okay.
Jay also says that the two of you are thick as theives. You will spend your time finding toys for Isaac to play with and giving them to him, and you'll cry if you're not in the same room as him. We all knew you guys would be friends, we just didn't realize how close you would be!

Unlike Isaac, though, who is 5 months younger and now has 8(!) teeth, you have three and are currently cutting the other top tooth. You love to use them to break off bread and you've even bitten a parent or two. We're still desperately hoping that you've got your dad's teeth and not mine, but that is something only time will tell. Kami girl, I love you so much. I'm so proud of all that you're learning and how smart and fun you are. You seem to be both very independant and also such a lover, and I think you have the sweetest spirit. I can never do you justice in these blogs, and today is no exception, but know that I think you're amazing, and I hope you keep dancing and living and loving the way that you do now.

Small Blurb

Off to the side of my Hotmail inbox are the MSN articles that they want to catch your eye, and one of them tonight says "How to Survive a Kidnapping." I'm one of those people that looks at it and rolls my eyes, and if I ever were kidnapped and in the trunk of the car I'd think about it and be like, "Damnit! Should've read it..."

First Looks

I know that I'm the queen of doing things late, ie getting my wedding video 2 years later. This isn't QUITE as bad as that one, I'm only 15 months late, and I think that's a step in the right direction.
When I went to the hospital - in labor and dialated to a 5 - I was convinced they were going to check me and send me home again. I was so convinced of it that I didn't take anything with me - including a camera. The hospital had one and they took these pictures, which I hadn't seen until today.
And for the record, I don't think you should take a picture of a woman that's just given birth.

Looking at these, it's so easy to remember the amazement of having a baby and looking at her and reveling in how perfect she is, and it all seems like such a sacred miracle. This day changed the rest of my life, but I wouldn't dare take it back.

Not Kidding

Yesterday was another day when the bad news comes in threes. It actually started a week ago when Mom's car broke down on their way home from Cedar City. We have two cars and we mostly just use whichever has the most gas, so we were fortunately able to lend her one of our cars for the past week, and it hasn't been a big deal at all.

Until last night.

Around 8:30 we decided to drive over to Chelsee's to give her a vaccuum that Jay's parents were going to give away. We noticed that the car was acting funny, but just that the speedometer wasn't working right. Jay noticed that it popped up when he turned on the turn signal, and then dropped again when he hit the brake. And we stopped at a stoplight, and the car was dead. Luckilly, we were on 2600 where there's a slight hill, so he was able to get the car to coast fast enough and then turn into a parking lot and into a parking spot. I was lucky he was there, because there's no way I'd be strong enough to do it.

So we walked down to Chelsee's, a little annoyed but realizing how much worse it could be, and from there we called Jay's parents to ask if we could borrow their car. They said we could, so we drove up there and got the car from them, and Jay's dad said that he would drive over to where our car had broken down to follow Jay and tow him if he had to so we could get the car to a mechanic.

We sat at the restaruant and waited for him. It had gotten late, it had gotten dark, and Jay still had to be to work at midnight. We honestly didn't know what was taking him so long, he should've been right behind us.

Then Jay's aunt and uncle turn into the parking lot - completely unexpected- and tell us that no, he's not coming and on top of that, they need their car back because his truck won't start.

Come on.

We got it figured out, Mom is riding to work with Chelsee and we'll just take our other car back, but the hassle of all of it made it so Jay got about 45 minutes of sleep before he had to go to work. And now we have the added bonus of needing to get our car towed this morning and fixed -AGAIN.

I know it could be a lot worse. However I can't deny all the parallels I saw to a bad sitcom last night.

HAPPY BIRTHDAY CHELSEE!

Chelsee, you're beautiful and fun to be around and I'm so proud of your work ethic and how you're getting back into school. You're so talented, you make amazing cakes and take beautiful pictures. You've always been such a good Aunt to Kameryn, I know how much she loves you and how much she loves to have you around. She's content to have your head against hers with her hand in your hair.

You have always been there for me and Jay, and you've helped us out too many times to remember. We both really appreciate it. We love you so much!

This Is Why I Don't Cook

I don't cook. I can make some mean fried eggs, and you can count on me for spaghetti or anything with instructions on the back of the box when I just need to add butter, water and milk. With those receipies, I'm golden.
On the 24th, Jay went to bed at three in the afternoon, exhausted from his weekend spent reading Harry Potter. At the same time that he fell asleep, Kameryn went down for an axiously awaited, long overdue nap. And just like that, I had an afternoon to myself. I did a few different things before the brillance dawned on me that I wanted to make something. I decided on a cake, washed the dishes and then started getting stuff out. I'm sure the cake would've worked, had I stuck to the plan. My logic for that conclusion is that the ingredients are listed on the back of the box. Add water, oil and an egg and I'm golden.
But no, I decide I want to be even more creative, so I pull out a book I got as a wedding gift called "101 Things to Do With a Cake Mix" and from there decide on some cakey-cream cheesy bars that I've made before and turned out pretty well. So I'm getting everything together, and it gets to the point where I need to grease the pan and put my creation into the oven.
So I pull some Western Family Shortening out of the cupboard, grab a paper towel and begin to spread it around. My first clue that something is wrong comes from the fact that it's more sticky than anything, it doesn't spread well at all. I get a little bit more on the paper towel and this time when I'm looking at the shortening I notice that it's sort of clear. Weird. I remember it being white.
I think the thing that FINALLY got me was the smell. The smell of shortening, but amplified until it's almost too much to take.
So I look at the can again, trying to find an expiration date. I find it. April 2003.

After this realization I notice another sign that should have steered me away from the goop before I spread it all over. The label is completely saturated. So the thought should've been, "Hey, why is shortening on my hands before I've even taken the lid off the can?" Yeah. I told you I don't cook much.

It took about 7 good, hard scrubbings before I got the nastiness off my hands, and while I'm standing there scrubbing I realize that I must've bought this shortening when I lived in Salt Lake, before I got married. I've lived in two apartments since then AND with my mom for a year. And thankfully I had the shortening in a box somewhere, JUST IN CASE, that whole time. By the time we unpacked it when we moved here it had been expired for 3 years already. But yeah, we just put it up in the cupboard.

So maybe it's time to work on this whole pack-rat thing.

*****Mom mentioned in her comment that I didn't say how the cakey cream cheesy bars turned out. I didn't use the shortening pan to cook them in, luckilly. However, they still turned out to be pretty tasteless in the end. I would've been more disappointed but I was making funeral potatoes at the same time, something I love but have never made before, and they turned out awesome...even if I did buy frosted flakes instead of corn flakes to go on top....*****

Crazy Dreams

Harry Potter is everywhere. So I'm sure I'm not the only person who was dreaming about him last night. But while most people are dreaming about wizards and spells and wands and magic potions, my mind went to an interview I heard on NPR yesterday with Michael Moore, so I dreamed that Harry Potter was denied Health Insurance.
I think I'll call it "The More Practical Harry Potter - If Potter Can't Get Health Insurance, Who Can?" or, more simply, "Harry Potter, the Sicko."

Blog Challange

I have all my favorite blogs listed in my Favorites and I check them nearly every day. I find it really entertaining and relaxing. I admit, I have two in here that are blogs I've come across for people I have never met, and I still read them religiously. One of these blogs is Unabashedlyheatherlynn.blogspot.com, and Heather is an English teacher in PA. In true English teacher fashion, she gives "Wednesday Blog Challanges" and she picks a theme that she would like you to write about. The one for last week was confessions.

Confess away. It could be anything. You don't pay your bills on time. You haven't eaten a vegetable in three years. You don't know your times tables. You wear the same underwear two days in a row. You haven't yet washed the pot that's been in your sink for the past two months. Your neighbors complain because you mow your lawn too infrequently. You kiss your pet on the mouth. You talk to yourself out loud - and answer yourself. You're wearing your old e-rings and wedding band just because they look pretty and happened to be right next to the computer (*blush*).

Obviously I don't usually blog my answers to them, even though they do get me thinking, but tonight I figure, What the Heck? So here it is, a list of confessions you may or may not know about me:

I am TERRIBLE at Geography. I think I've admitted to this before, but I don't have the foggiest idea what is where. It's not that I haven't tried to learn, it just doesn't stick with me for some reason.

I also still check my hands to know right from left. It's more of a comfort thing than anything. I don't do it the typical way, I know that my scar is on my left hand, so I'll glance at my left hand, see the scar and know that it's right. (Ha!)

I LOVED being pregnant. I loved it so much I get jealous when I see pregnant women, which I know isn't the typical response. There is something so amazing about being pregnant, and I was always so proud of what my body was capable of doing. Getting pregnant again soon isn't a good idea for me, but I can't wait until I am again.

I never pay my bills on time. I don't think anyone is surprised by that one.

More than that, though, I never do ANYTHING on time, let alone early. I heard once that people who are chronically late are trying to let people know that they can't be controlled, a "I'll get there when I want to get there" sort of attitude, but I don't think that's the explination in my case - I just procrastinate.

I cry ALL THE TIME. And it's not crying because I'm sad most of the time, I cry when I'm moved by something. And it's no holds barred, I'm afraid, it can be a movie, or a TV show, or a commercial, or Story Corps or the news. Anything.

I'm a pack rat, and in my mind, I'm the worst kind. I keep things in case I need them one day, but worse than that, I almost don't know what's important to keep and what can be thrown out when it comes to papers and receipts, so I keep everything.

And I'll give you a last one and then wrap this up: I think that if Harry Potter lives I'll consider reading the books.

Random Thursday Night Thoughts

My thyroid ultrasound is tomorrow and for the life of me I can't find my insurance card ANYWHERE, even though we have TWO and I know for a fact we had it a WEEK AGO for Jay's appointment. It makes me so crazy to be so unorganized, and now that Kami's finally asleep I decided to blog a bit to calm down before I go to bed.
Here are some random things that are on my mind:

Thanks to Danae and Chelsee, Jay and I snuck off to see a pre-screening of Hairspray last night. And the truth of it is that cheesy movies with good music and lots of dancing are right up my alley. I liked the movie, I LOVED the soundtrack. I plan on getting it and listening to it over and over on the way to and from work. I suspect I'll listen until I know all the words, and then listen until I'm almost sick of it, and then instead of taking it out and listening to something else so I don't get sick of it, I'll play it a few more times.

A specimen got lost at work, which was brought to the attention of the doctor yesterday. After figuring out who was where on that day, since it was Monday a week ago, and none of us remembered, we found out that I was the only one working. So, one way or another, this was my fault. And my co-worker wasn't discreet about the fact, going up to the doctor and telling him it was either her or me that lost it, and it wasn't her. (Real smooth, right?) I KNEW I had sent it out, so I started calling the lab to bug them about it. I called them 5 timees before they finally said, "There's nothing we can do. You have to call the courriers." Which I did. I talked to person One, who had to transfer me to person Two, where I had to leave a voicemail.
Then, today, while I was bringing a patient back they got a call. "Wow, here it is after all." And who took the call and let the doctor know? Mrs. "It Wasn't Me." And truthfully I'm just glad that it's over and the patient doesn't need to come back in to get cut open again. And I'm glad that the office knows that when I said I sent it, I was telling the truth. But with all the work I put into it, and the way my co-worker brushed it off as lost forever, it would've been THAT much sweeter if I had gotten the call myself. I know that's a little childish, but that's what I think.

Mom and I went to a Kurt Bestor concert on Monday, and it was such a blast. It was outside, which was nice. And Mom is so cute, she got her tickets forever ago, so our seats were 3 rows from the stage, right in the center. Kurt was playing with the Utah Orchestra, and it was so awesome, as anyone who's been to a Kurt Bestor concert can attest to. Then, afterward while we were walking out we passed a table where they were selling CDs, and we kept on walking until Mom said, "Well, Kjersti, do you want a CD?" Of course I did, so we went back and were standing there picking out which CD we wanted when Kurt himself came walking out and sat down RIGHT IN FRONT OF US to sign CDs. And we were in the front of the line. It was so amazingly lucky.

While I was putting Kami to bed tonight there was a point when I was holding her and rocking her, and she looked up at me and put her little hands on both my cheeks and whispered to me. I would give anything to know what she thought she was saying. And after that she started kissing me and running her fingers through my hair. Sweet moments like that with my baby girl have to be my favorite thing ever.

My Discovery

This past Friday I was talking to our Physican's Assistant about how I've been feeling nauseated almost every night for a couple weeks, but I've taken a couple pregnancy tests and they were both negative. She was asking about my birth control (I was on the patch) and she said that isn't a good choice for me and I should try something else. That conversation turned into a visit so she could prescribe something for me, which turned into my annual exam because it was long overdue. And yes, I know, I work in a doctor's office and I should be more careful about things like that, but come on, no one looks forward to that exam. The ONLY good part about it is when it's over you know you're good for another year.
So at the end she said she wanted to get some blood work, which I admit I got a little too excited about, and I said something like, "Oh, I love getting my blood drawn. Feel free to run anything you want on me." And she said, "Alright, I had some things in mind." And she ordered 8 tests, checking my thyroid and cholesterol and complete blood count and all that.
I really do love getting my blood drawn. I don't like getting pricked, but I don't mind it either, and I'm always amazed with ALL the many things they know about you from a little bit of blood. They can check all the cholestrol, my iron count, my calcium, my platelets, my liver, my C02, and all of it from a bit of blood.
Well, we got my bloodwork back and everything came back normal except one thing. My thyoid. The range for normal thyroids is 0.45 and 4.5. Mine was at 16.94. And just like that, we know that I'll be taking Synthroid or the like for the rest of my life.
The good thing about it is that taking the pills- once we find the right dose, which admittedly might take awhile - will give me more energy and with any luck will help me lose some weight. And even without that, I think it's so much better to know than to not know and worry.
SO, for the people in my family, I suggest getting your thyroid checked. If me and mom both have it, there's a good chance that it runs in the family.
And to everyone else, make sure you make your appointments, even the bad ones. Who knows how much earlier I could've caught this if I had just been a little braver.
And there it is, my commercial for staying on top of healthy living. Next up for me: A thyroid ultrasound this Friday morning to make sure my thyroid is nodule free.

Yesterday I called to tell our patient about his polysomnogram (sleep test) results. He had sleep apnea, and they wanted me to set him up for a CPAP titration study, which is when you get fitted for the CPAP machine, a rather large and awkward mask you wear at night to make sure you breathe. I called him and started to read him his results:
"And it says that you've got sleep apnea, so I'm gonna set you up with a new test that will get you fitted for your CPAP."
"No, I'm not wearing that damn thing. What are my other options?"
I say, "Yeah, a lot of people have to get used to them for a couple weeks, but after that you'll be used to it and it won't be so bad."
He's unrelenting. "I won't wear it. What else can I do?"
"Well, it says here that you could also have surgery."
"Let's do it. I want the surgery. What are they gonna do? Do they go up through my nose?"
"I don't know.: Thinking, People don't GET surgery when they can just wear a machine at night! "But I'll refer you to someone who will tell you. Um, okay, here are some numbers for some ENTs."

I don't know if the transcript of it does it justice. It was so unusual and unexpected.

And, my total blond moment, I was reading through his test results before I called him and it said "Patient can also work on not sleeping supine, as a lot of the episodes happened in this position." And my first thought was, "How is he supposed to work on sleeping without lying down?"
(Supine means laying down, just specifically on your back.)

Just Glad It's Over...

I wanted to have some fun pictures of the 4th to post. I had one in mind that I really wanted to get, the picture of Dad when he kneels down and touches the graves of the Medal of Honor winners. We had planned to go meet Dad at his house at noon, and go to the three Medal of Honor reciepients gravesites. An interesting way to spend the holiday, and we had everything packed and were driving down there when Kami threw up. A lot. It got on her carseat, so even if we had thought ahead to bring extra clothes, which we hadn't, we still would've had to come home. And Jay, not loving the smell or the whiny baby, got us home in about half the time it took to drive out.

So we threw everything in the washer and got her cleaned off, and sat watching Court TV. I was in a bit of a bad mood from the disappointment, but knew that the group would call us when they got to the graveyard in Salt Lake. When they called we had time to get out there, but in having to wait for the carseat cushions to dry we were late. I was glad to be part of the group for a small time, but it was quite short.

The best part of the day was playing Mormon Bridge and Scrabble with mom and Chelsee and Geoff.

And then I had the bright idea of taking Kami to see the fireworks. This turned out to be the biggest disaster of the day, and just over-the-top enough to make it all seem a little bit funny.

I called Chelsee to come out and see the fireworks with me. She knows someone who lives by Sugarhouse park, so I thought the problem of having no where to park was solved. We drove out on I-80 until we saw the sign, AFTER the last exit, that told us that our exit was closed, we had to keep going to Holladay. So we did, in bumper to bumper traffic, and when we finally got off we just followed the other cars because we didn't know where to go. Cars were parked on both sides of the street as we got closer, so we knew we were there, but couldn't get our bearings to find her friend's house. After making a few circles, we decided just to get back on the main road so we could figure out where we needed to be. I drove down 13th and there it was: The road blocked off by police who were forcing us back onto the freeway.

Luckilly, Kami slept through this whole thing.

Then we decided to just go to Baskin, get some ice cream and shake the whole thing off. And Chelsee got Kameryn out of the car and walked up the the door before she started throwing up, all over the sidewalk. And after cleaning that up the best we could and getting some ice cream, Kameryn SCREAMED the whole way home. The bloody mary type scream that you can't even talk over.

Happy 4th, Everyone. I think it's fair to assume yours was better than mine.

Whatever!

I had intended to write every day for a week, at least, trying to get myself back into the habit. Now I'm not sure if I'll be able to because my laptop at home got a virus and we can't seem to get it to work. I'll try to come up to mom's or still blog somehow. It's too bad because I was really enjoying getting the habit back. Sometimes I'm convinced even sub-par posts are better than nothing.

Blah

I have the blah feeling I get when I spend all day long inside my apartment not doing anything. Kameryn started throwing up last night and did with every subsequent bottle we gave her until this morning. I had to call Dr. Allie to find out what she wanted me to do, and Kami has been enjoying Grape Pedialyte since then. I hate it when Kami is sick, and I know how relieved I will be when she can talk to me and tell me how she feels. I would much rather listen to complaining then not know if she's close to vomiting or if she's feeling better.
I hope things are better tomorrow, that way this weekend won't be totally shot. And Kim is in town, I hope I can sit and talk with her and wallow in our friendship without worrying about Kami the whole time.

Peace

So, today was lousy overall. This morning was filled with a lot of crying, tonight filled with people coming in and out of the apartment trying to help us with the leak from upstairs which turned into a lot of wet carpet. And in between was work.
The one good thing that happened today was that when we found that the leak had gotten as bad as it did, I went upstairs to give the neighbors a heads-up. These are the same neighbors who wrote the nasty note, but I figured it was the right thing to do. No one answered their door, so I ended up writing them a short note, saying something like "Our ceiling is leaking, we think it's coming from your place. They had to turn off your water. We'll get it fixed as soon as we can. Just wanted to let you know."
And once they got it, they came downstairs and knocked on the door to thank me, and to let me know that the landlord told them to use their water as little as possible, and they would, but to let them know if it was becoming a problem. It's true that the guy did all the talking and his wife said nothing and glared the whole time, which makes me think he made her come, but even so, I forgive them. I don't know why I let myself get all worked up. When I'm face to face with the people I'm upset with, it's not hard to remember that we're all just doing the best we can.
So, in a way, the apartment flooding turned into a good thing.

Love Letter. Month 14

That's right! I'm actually doing this a day early instead of three days late! The truth is that since my post last month wasn't very long, and since we went on vacation and I've got a million pictures now I've been waiting to post this month for a long time. And now, here it is. I think this will be a long one with a bunch of pictures and so much mushy lovey dovey talk that we may lose even our faithful readers before the end, but I'm doing it anyway. Mostly because I'm your mom, and bragging about you comes so easy.The first thing that I have to admit is that we've gotten even further into the part of your life I know nothing about. It may seem strange, but when I thought about having a baby I could imagine the first year or so, and I taught myself the milestones at the certain ages and I would have some sense about what was coming next. Now, I have no idea. Jay has looked to me to know what's normal and what's not, and if something surprises him he will check to see if I'm surprised, too, or if I knew it was coming all along. Now, we're to the point that he looks to me, and I have to shrug. I don't know what's coming next, I'm not sure what the "norm" is for kids your age, and the simple truth is that there are a lot of perks to having it this way. I get to completely wrap myself in your achievements more than I did before, instead of checking it off my list and waiting for the next one. Now, everything you learn and every way you grow gets to be unique.You've gotten even more fun this last month. You're so good at walking that tonight you got down and started crawling and it threw me for a loop, it seemed like it had been so long since I had seen it. At the beginning of the month you learned another solid word, one that you have put to use well since figuring it out. You say "Ba" meaning bottle, you just dropped off the second "Ba" because only having to say it once seemed more practical. Once while we were on our trip sleeping in the trailer, you woke up in the middle of the night and when I looked over you said, "Ba" in a way that was slightly panicked, slightly pleading, and as soon as I gave it to you you settled down and went right to sleep. I mention it because it was one of the first times that you've verbally been able to tell me what you want, and it was so stange but also so endearing. I can't believe how fast you're growing.I was worried about how you would handle our trip, especially all the time in the car, but for the most part you were patient and happy. After we got there you were so happy to walk around with all of us and also to explore things like pinecones and you would point at birds as they went by. I hope there's some part of it that you remember, but even if you don't it was more fun than it would've been without you. You kept all of us on our toes. If I could guess, I would say that your favorite part was when we went to a chuck-wagon dinner one night and listened to the Fort Hayes Wranglers afterward. I was afraid you would be put off by how loud the music was, but you LOVED IT. We have a video of you dancing, and the whole time you were laughing and clapping. And not clapping because everyone else was, though you did that too, you were clapping because you loved it so much. That was the best part.Your Dad told me today that he can't wait for you to be an older sister, he thinks you'll be a natural. Sometimes I disagree. You like to have things your way, and you're not too keen on sharing yet. The thing that makes me think he's right is how you are with Isaac. Even still you love to play with him and kiss him. You get so excited that you squeal anytime you see him. I've also seen how concerned you get when he's over and he's crying. I wait for you to get jealous when I'm holding him and not you, but most of the time I'm pleasantly surprised by how you handle it. He really is your best friend.You love to have fun and you love to laugh. One of my favorite things is when something will happen that strikes you as funny, something unintentional, and you will burst out laughing. We'll do things over and over to hear it. What I've noticed this last month is that you do the same thing. Anythime you do something that we laugh at, you do it over and over and laugh harder each time while watching us laugh. I love being with you, special times when we're sitting on the bed or something, and you and I will make each other laugh. You love to play and we play together a lot, and my heart delights in it every time.Your second tooth came through on our trip. As it grows it's obvious that they're crooked, but I love it. The other morning we saw that you have a third tooth coming through on top, your top left. They still bother you, but thankfully not as badly as the first one. Your getting better at eating, and you like to use them to bite pieces off of what we give you. Now we need to work on the swallowing part, because most of the time you still suck on it until it's soft and spit it out.As you get older you just get more and more beautiful. We still are consistantly stopped by people who tell us how cute you are, or just want to talk to you. People wave at you all the time. Lately when they talk to you you cuddle up with whoever is holding you, pretending to be shy, but we know you really like it because if they look away after you do that, you're full attention is on getting them to look at you again. I'm still astounded by what a beautiful girl you are, and I love your eyes. You have such beautiful eyes.

You're also astounding me with how smart you are. The other night we were sitting on the bed and you heard a dog barking outside the window, and you started to copy him. And we'd say "Yeah, Kami, good job, that's the dog you hear." Today we were in the Hallmark store and they were selling dog stuffed animals. They were big, almost as big as a real dog, and you loved it. You'd come up to it and pet it which would make you laugh, and then you started doing the same barking imitation you had done the other night. I don't know if that's normal for a kid your age or not, but I was taken aback and so proud of you!I love you so much. I love to be with you, and I love to play with you. I'm so lucky because there are so many times when you and I are together that you'll put your head up against mine, or hug me so tight, or kiss me, or put our noses together and just hold the position. We cuddle for awhile and it honestly breaks my heart. It's the best feeling. Being a mom, even with it's frustrations, is the best thing that has ever happened to me, and I know how lucky I am to have such an amazing daughter and husband. I love coming home to both of you.

You are so easy to love.