Look How Cool!

What Happens In Vegas...

There were a few things about Vegas I would've changed. It was HOT. Not nearly as hot as the first time we went down, but still too hot. Kami was all over the place, and as usual, she wouldn't eat anything. Well, not anything but butter and cream cheese.
But everything was worth it because I got to be there to see Allison walk across the stage. I was so proud of my sister and impressed by her accomplishments. She's a huge inspiration to me in regards to putting the time and work in to making what you dream turn into a reality. I love that she's moving home (into one of the cutest houses I've ever seen) so that I can be around her! I love you, Allison! Congratulations on kicking so much ass!

Reagan Mackenna

So, we went for another ultrasound today because Reagan was completely content to stay up under my belly button last time and as such there were parts of her anatomy, her heart specifically, that the doctor couldn't see. We went in today with a list of things they wanted to spot, and we got most of them. However, last time we couldn't get her to move, so this time we couldn't get her to hold still. And that seems to be the running theme with my girls thus far: Impossible.
I don't have a scanner to show good pictures of the ultrasound photos, but I'm excited enough about them that I've taken pictures of the pictures with my camera. Please forgive the quality and go straight to the oohing and aahing over what a perfect little girl we've got coming:
This is the baby's face. Today the doctor was checking for a cleft lip, and she said, "This baby has such beautiful lips, it's hard not to take 100 pictures of them!" Jay says she gets that from him, but come on, we all know who it really came from, right?
Here's a tiny foot.
And here's a beautiful arm and hand! Look at those bones! A mom couldn't ask for better bones!
And finally, a good strong heartbeat. Kameryn's heartbeat was something that we had to keep an eye on before she was born, so it's a relief to hear that this baby's heart is perfect so far!
Still, after taking all these pictures and also finding her femurs, kidneys, bladder and cord insertion there still were some pictures they weren't able to take since Reagan wouldn't hold still. They'd like me to go back in another month to look for the aortic arch and her brain, since they couldn't see either as well as they would've liked. As much as I would like her to cooperate, I can't say I mind getting to see her every few weeks! I'm completely excited to see her, and am starting to get impatient for her to make her arrival! And, if you're wondering, they estimate that right now she weighs about 1 pound, 6 ounces!

My Current Favorite Picture

Extreme Elmo, an Elmo easter basket (which she refused to use on Easter) and inside the basket, her baby Elmo. It gets a little redundant, but it totally worth it because of how happy it makes her.

So Smart

Yesterday Jay and Kami and me were all sitting outside enjoying the warm weather, and Kami was running around. Jay said, "Kami, are you excited for your new little sister?" And she yelled, "YEAH!" Jay asked her, "Where is your little sister?" And she ran up to me and pointed to my belly and said, "Right there!" And put her mouth up to my belly and said something I couldn't understand, then ran off again. We were both a little bit shocked because she hasn't shown us that she understands before, so Jay had her come and sit between us, and asked again, "Kameryn, where is your little sister?" "Right there." She said, and pointed to my belly again. I really can't underestimate her anymore. She knows what's going on.

An Interesting Conversation

Jay: " 'A Warm Place' makes me think that Trent Reznor could just do instrumentals for the rest of his life and still do well."
Me: "Yeah, but I'm glad that he doesn't."
Jay: "There's something about a good instrumental. Life needs more instrumentals. Sometimes life just has too many words."

More Proof

Even if you weren't sure they were related, you could just look at the hair and know.

Impatience

I had my big ultrasound appointment set up for April 22, and upon thinking about it further realized there was NO WAY I could wait that long to find out if we're having a boy or a girl. So I moved it up, and the new date is April 15 at 3:45. Yes, that is two weeks from today, and in my opinion, STILL too long to have to wait. Everyone, think "BOY!"

Love Letter, Month 23

This is my little girl that will be 2 years old in a month.Words are exploding out of her lately. It seems like every day she says something new, because she's been quiet for so long that now she wants to learn things as quickly as possible to make up for lost time. Now in addition to telling us what a horse, cow, bird, duck, cat and dog all say (which we knew she could do) she's started pointing out apples, saying "Ashes" when she wants to play Ring Around the Rosies, and calling Isaac "Baby."
A couple weeks ago Jay got me a Sprite from the gas station, and when he handed it to me in the car Kami reached her hands out for it and said, "Wah wah." We didn't know she could say that, and we didn't teach it to her consiously. And that's how it goes. She says more words everyday, and is even getting better at sentences.It's been fun getting to hear a little bit about what she thinks, and the other night, what she dreams. Kami has nightmares, and has for awhile, but the other night she was able to let us know a little bit about it. She said, "Ma," which is one of her Grandmas, I don't know which (not me because she STILL calls me Daddy.) She also said "House" and "Oh gosh! What do I do?" With her hands on both sides of her head. It was sad to see because she was so upset, but interesting to have an idea of what she dreams about. And, luckily for us, the phrase "Oh gosh" has replaced the other, less tasteful phrase she had picked up from me before. Kami loves to color and frequently fills up any paper she can find with spirals that she draws. I wouldn't be surprised if she goes on to be quite a little artist like her aunts and uncles and Grandma. I know she didn't get the drawing gene from me!Easter is a blast every year, because the way my mom sets it up is something you can't grow out of. This year the Grandkids got candy in the playroom that they got to collect on their own, and Kami got it this year. She filled up her basket with that candy, and then when the race started for the rest of us, Kami followed behind, still holding her basket and grabbed all the big candy bars out of the dining room. After that she followed me into the front room and helped me grab candy and put it in my basket. We didn't plan it, but it couldn't have worked any better even if we had.There was a day when I went to a scrapbook expo with Jay and Danae and the babies, and while we were driving it started to snow. I was wearing thin little ankle socks which got really wet, and by the time we got back to my mom's house I took off my socks and shoes hoping I would warm up faster. I don't remember saying anything to my mom about how cold I was, but while I was lying on her bed she came and put some thick, warm socks on me. It was a little gesture, but I was so grateful for it because I was so cold, and ever since then it's been an example to me of the kind of mom I want to be for you.
I really hope that I can raise you right and you can grow into a beautiful girl that knows how important and priceless you are. I hope that I can help you when you need me, and sometimes anticipate what you might need even if you can't tell me. I'm so proud of you, and I can't wait to watch as you learn more. I know you're going to be a great big sister, and you enrich my life in a way that I doubt I could ever explain, but am so grateful for. I love you, big girl.

First Looks

Since my Internet is FINALLY back up, I wanted to share some of the most important things that have happened to me lately. First of all, I went and had my first ultrasound on Feb. 5 and we got this first picture of our good-lookin' baby:
It's not the greatest picture in the first place and I know this is blurry, but the head is the circle that's the farthest left, and it's in a profile, and then the rest of his body goes to the right. (We don't actually know if it's a boy or a girl, it's too early for that, but we're hoping for a boy so we always say "he" when talking about our new baby.) She thought I was about 10 weeks 2 days at my appointment, which puts me at exactly 13 weeks today. We got to hear his heartbeat, which was good and strong, and when we saw him up on the monitor he was moving all around, kicking his arms and his legs! Even now, it's still surreal that we're gonna have a new addition to our family before long. My due date is Sept. 5.
I was really nervous at first about how Kameryn is going to react. She loves to be the center of attention. Something that's a huge comfort to me is how much she loves being around Isaac and how much fun they have together. Another thing that I've noticed lately is how nurturing she is with her toys. She got an Extreme Elmo for Christmas and now he and Mr. Quackers come with us everywhere we go. She loves when Elmo is in a high chair right next to hers, and when she watches Blue's Clues she always has them both close by and makes sure they're adequately covered with blankets.
So it's getting really exciting. I know it's also going to be really challenging, but I'm excited for our little family to grow.

A Quick Kameryn Update

I've completely slacked on doing my monthly love letters to my sweet girl the last few months, even though she learns something new and still amazes me with it everyday. Just quickly I wanted to write about some of her most recent accomplishments, though most of them are small, and I will post some pictures of her later on. I've been waiting to post until I had pictures to go along with it, but the "rechargeable" batteries in our camera refuse to charge so we don't have any.
Lately Kameryn is learning and saying a bunch of new words. Possibly her most recent is "Elmo," thanks in part to a daily dose of Sesame Street and in part to the Extreme Elmo Jay's brother got her for Christmas. She loves Extreme Elmo and carries him around with her, but when you press his belly he laughs and shakes AND, as if the laughing and pulsating weren't enough, he throws himself onto his back, kicks his legs, waves his arms and then stands himself up again. Every time he does it Kameryn feels bad for him, thinking he must be hurting himself, so she goes to great lengths to avoid his belly at all costs.
Possibly her favorite new word is "Blue," which she says constantly because she's developed a strong, personal love for "Blue's Clue's" the T.V. show. It was kinda cute at first, and now that she's watching the tapes several times a day and Jay and I both unconsciously sing the songs even when she's NOT watching it, it's not as cute anymore. There is one part in the main song that she sings along to, we know because he pauses several times and she pauses with him, and I am very proud of her because I take it as proof that she's got my sense of rhythm and not her dad's, which is better for everyone.
Yesterday I was asking Kami to point out Elmo's mouth and nose and eyes, and I knew she knows all of those plus she can point out ears and hair, but all the sudden Jay started asking her to point out her hands, fingers, feet, toes, and her knees. And SHE DID. I don't know where I've been, but I had no idea she knew all of that, and in addition, Jay and I don't know where she learned it from! She's definitely a smart one.
A couple nights ago Kameryn kissed my belly, out of nowhere. My thoughts that she'll be incredibly jealous of her younger sibling are still there, but I'm not as worried about it as I was at first. I'm getting excited, I think she'll love to have someone to play with and someone to teach things to. Someone to dance with.

Hoping to Return to Some Normalcy

I'm sorry it's been so long since I blogged. Things seem to keep coming up for me. December was crazy with Christmas crafts and my radiology exam, and after I had finally gotten those two out of the way I had a sick baby. Kameryn started throwing up a few days before Christmas, and was sick as a dog for the holidays. On Christmas morning she came out and saw the tricycle under the tree that Jay had stayed up putting together for her, and she had enough energy to walk up to it and push it across the room, but after that she laid down on the floor in the middle of the room and didn't move. She finally got over whatever bug she had last night, and we're hoping that can be her dose of sickness for the YEAR.

Also, before the new year I found out some good news: I'm PREGNANT again! I'm not very far along, probably only 6 weeks at this point, and I have to keep reminding myself of the fact at all because it doesn't seem real. My first appointment will be on Feb. 5 with Dr. Ponder (aka Dr. Hottie, so named by Allison and her friends) and I'm hoping that going to the doctor will help me realize what I'm in for. I am so excited, and taking my pills and vitamins as I should, but something about it still doesn't seem REAL.

Luckily, I haven't started getting sick yet, which is good. Probably inevitable, but nice that I have had some fair warning and know it's coming.

I haven't gotten my scores back from my Radiology licensing exam yet, but I'll update everyone as soon as I get them. Until then, I'll try to post more often.

One Step Closer to Radiating Your Bones...

I passed my test and have a heavy duty certificate to prove it! I'm not quite as excited about it as I should be because he had the class take the test, and then he had us grade our own tests, and without asking a single score he started handing out graduation certificates. He told us we needed 70% to pass, and I figured out later that I had gotten 80%, so I would've passed HAD he taken scores into account, but it just makes me nervous. I would be so humiliated if I went to take the Licensing test in a couple weeks and was totally stumped.
It was nice to take that certificate in to the doctor and have him look at it. He held it and read the whole thing and then asked where we should hang it. That was a good feeling.
SO, the real party is going to be after I take my test on the 27th. Wish me luck!

Catching Up

Today I take my class final, and if I get 70% or better I complete the class. If I get 69% or worse, I fail the class and waste the money generously given to me by Dr. P and mom. I've studied with Jay AND in a study group of 2 other classmates AND by myself, and I've gotten to the point that if I study anymore, it may do more damage than good, and thus, I blog. It's been awhile, and I'm throughly ready to be done with this class and this test. I almost can't wait until the blessed time when I drive away from the DATC for the last time. Only a couple more hours.

I've taken a few more X-rays since my last post. Some of them have been beautiful and helpful, and others...not so much. I took a chest X-ray for the doctor yesterday which turned out much too light. The worst part of taking a bad X-ray is I don't have a license to just go in and repeat it, so I have to wait for the doctor to come look at it and decide if it's worth doing again. So there I was, standing next to my pitiful X-ray, just waiting for him to walk up, knowing there would be much disappointment. And there was. He flipped the light on to look at the X-ray, and then flipped it back off and said, "See, it looks better that way!" I'm completely grateful that he's patient with me, and has a sense of humor about the whole thing.

Also, since I'm so good at celebrating holidays a month late on my blog, I share with you some pictures of Thanksgiving.
This is a classic example of Jay and my undaunted ability to over-do things. All this food was for 4 people. But man was it good.
Here are the kids on Thanksgiving. Sometimes it's still hard to believe how fast a year goes by.

In Other News

• Jay has returned to the blogging world, and you can check it out at jayertmann.blogspot.com

• My class final in Radiology is on the 13th of December, and I found out in my last class that that final that I've been stressing out about? Yeah, it's been in the back of my workbook this WHOLE time. I've been carrying it around with me since day one. So we get to study the ACTUAL test. Takes the stress off, but also makes me wonder how well prepared I'll be for my licensing exam.
• You know, that licensing exam that I scheduled yesterday. So I'll officially be taking the exam on Dec, 27th. I tried to get one before Christmas, but they were all booked. My printout reads, "Total test time: 220 minutes. Please arrive 30 minutes early." So I don't expect to be able to form coherent sentences afterward. And there may be drooling involved.
• I've taken two more X-rays at work since I last wrote about it, a chest and a foot. Didn't have to redo them. So now (with some help from Wesley) I can tell you I'm 5 for 7!
• Kami turned 19 months old on the 29th. A sappy love letter will follow shortly. Until then, please enjoy Kami in her Elton John/Harry Openhower sunglasses.
• 

***WARNING: ANGRY RANT****

****Okay, this is the second warning and my disclaimer: This will be an angry, bitching rant and I am unapologetic. If you are easilly offended, read no further. And with that, I'm off.****

I called my dad's cell phone from work to give him some blood test results. A woman answers the phone who's voice I don't recognize.
Me: "Is C. Hanna there?"
L: "No, he's out of town, but this is his niece and I can give him a message if you want."
(Um, what? My dad barely talks to his brothers and sisters, he didn't leave his cell phone with one of their kids. By this point I'm so confused that I need to clarify.)
Me: "Is this C. HANNA?"
L, thinking I'm asking if SHE is C. Hanna (DUH!) answers: "No, this is C. Hanna's daughter."
(UM, WHAT THE HELL?!?!?!)
Me: "No, I'M C. Hanna's daughter. WHO is this?"
L: "Oh, this is his step daughter L."

The conversation ends civilly at that point because I'm at work. Here are my thoughts that WEREN'T said during this conversation because I was at work, but should've been:
"No, actually you're NOT C. Hanna's step daughter because our parents aren't married. I know that because if they were, I'd want to kill myself. Oh, woops, not the right person to say that to. Here's a tip: If you want to identify yourself so we'll know who you are, you can simply say "I'm the loser slacker mooch that lives with your dad and is a total pain in his ass." THEN I'll know who I'm talking to."

My whole life I've been proud to be my dad's daughter. He would come to talk in class, and I was like a peacock, so proud to show him off. I even remember when caller ID was new I was so excited because any time I called anyone my dad's name would show up. And even now, even when he came to the office to see the doctor I stopped him in front of every person we passed so I could tell my co-workers that this was my dad.

I can see why she would want to claim to be his daughter. But there's so many things that make it TOTALLY outlandish. First of all, there's a certain amount of class that goes along with being a Hanna. There's a HUGE desire to strive for intelligence and to make something out of your life. We want to be successful, and even if we're not there yet, we don't give up.

My dad's rules for us after we reached a certain maturity were, 1. Always use your best judgement and 2. There are no other rules. Well, most of us know what L's best judgement is, and if she's so convinced that the world is better off without her, she's probably right and she should use more successful methods. (Did that cross the line? I SO don't care. In fact, I think most people would agree with me. If you don't, you don't know enough about her.)

I don't agree with everything my dad does. There are a lot of views that we don't share. But I love him and am so proud of him, and it's disgraceful to him AND to me to have someone like that trying to claim him. She has a hell of a long way to go before she can call him Dad and have it be anything more to him than a flat-out insult.

Halloween

It's a month late, but worth it!

The New Laptop

Yes, believe your eyes, this is a new post. My last laptop died, unwilling to let me post or upload pictures or check my E-mail. A HUGE thank you to Allison and Steve for getting new laptops and giving me their old one, which will be a grand improvement and will help me get back into the blogging world. And thank you also to Jay, for knowing the difference between different cords and for being able to go out and, on the first try, buy the cord we needed to get us up and going again. It would have taken me a lot more than one try, so thank you for saving us time, money and also from me getting so frustrated I pick up and threw our new laptop.

So, my biggest news is that I'm nearing the end of the X-ray class that I have been taking. It's been a LOT harder than I expected, and I'm really nervous about the last two tests, the first of which will be on Dec. 13. However, the X-ray tech I used to work with is no longer at my office, so I have been positioning the patients and having the doctor press the button on the last few X-rays we did. My first X-ray didn't go so well. It was a hand X-ray, which is simple, except that I didn't give the machine enough juice so it was way too light. And I cut part of her thumb off in one view. AND that when I positioned her for the third and final view, I positioned her OVER a lead guard so it didn't appear at all. Opps. And yeah, when the doctor asked me to re-do it to darken it up, I turned the machine down instead of up, so the second X-rays were even lighter than the first ones. Opps. Needless to say, I wasn't too surprised when the hand X-ray we had he next day was sent to the hospital to get X-rays.

I had accepted that the doctor wanted to wait for me to finish my class to do anymore X-rays, when today he called me down to do a forearm. Needless to say, it still makes me nervous and is hard because he's in the room watching me fumble through, but I pulled off a decent X-ray that didn't need to be re-done. Then he had me do a finger. Success. And then another hand. SUCCESS. And then an ankle. That one came out FAR too light, and I was sweating when he asked me to go back in and do it again because my first repeat X-ray hadn't gone so well. But I came back out with X-rays that were as dark as he likes them!!! Instead of lighter than the first ones!!! It's a huge rush when I put up an X-ray that he can use. And all of this experience, though nerve-racking, is going to help me remember so much more on the test than just reading alone can. So we'll see what else he throws at me. So far I'm 3 for 2.

Other than that I'm going to take a couple days to catch this baby up. I know I missed a monthly newsletter for Kami, and we have another month in just a couple days. I may also tell the story of two girls I work with getting let go and making me the head MA. But I'll wait on that one. Don't want to get dooced.

THe Flipside

On the upside, sometimes not saying everything that comes into my head is a good thing. Today, I honestly had to resist the urge to say to a patient, "Man, for a big guy, you sure have little arms!"

Silent All These Years

So it happened again yesterday that I was put in a situation that made me feel uncomfortable and instead of saying what I think, I froze. I can't believe how often that happens to me! It seems so weird that there are times when I can't even gather MY OWN thoughts to vocalize them. Then later when I'm by myself or washing the dishes or whatever I think of all the things I could've said, and the monologe inside my head goes on and on of all the things I couldn't think of before, almost to torture me. It probably sounds overly dramatic, but it's something I wish I could change. Why do I tend to be one of the last people willing to stand up for me?