SAHM

Do you know that feeling when you've finally decided to cut your hair, and you're sitting at the salon looking in the mirror while they're combing your hair and you think, "Wow, maybe my hair really does look good this long!" And then they pull out the scissors, and you hope for the best?

Right now I really hope that's happened to someone else so people aren't reading this thinking "Psycho!"

Anyway, the pre-haircut hair-admiration is the point I'm at in my job right now. My job that will be ending in a week. A four day work week. Right now I'm working, trying hard to teach someone else how to do my job and thinking, "Man, I'm really good at this." I see how she's struggling to pick it up and remember when I was that way, and it's easy to see how far I've come. I wish moments of clarity and acceptance like this didn't always come at the end of things.

I'm excited and anxious about the huge change that I'm about to make. I have a ton of ideas about what being a stay at home mom will be like, and I'm hoping that I'm able to accomplish even half of what I want to do. I hope it will be as good and fulfilling as I imagine it to be. And I also think I'll find it harder than I expect it to be.

I didn't EVER see myself wanting to be a stay at home mom. But I also didn't realize how much I would want to spend every minute with these two:(Poor Reagan, reduced to trying to drink the doll bottle because no one ever feeds her!)

Easter

This year for Easter Danae and Gary invited us up to their place to do a candy-gathering race in true Hanna fashion. The kids had so much fun gathering candy, and we had fun watching. The one surprising thing? When there's only two 2 year olds gathering candy, it actually takes awhile. As in it's not all over in 3 minutes. That was a different experience.

Reagan was content to chill in her carseat while her sister made a haul.


Kameryn, more interested in looking at her candy than posing for the picture.
At home, the girls got their Easter baskets and got to look for eggs. Kami loved looking for the eggs, and we had so much fun watching her find them that we hid them all again for her. Twice.
We had so much fun. Thanks again to Gary and Danae for helping make our Easter AWESOME!

WE: What are you tired of?

My answer can be found here.
To play along with weekend exposure, please read the rules here.

I'm Proud, but I Still Blame Chelsee.

First 5

I'm the happiest when I feel inspired. Some of my favorite days are really simple. Sitting around with a choice beverage, reading poems and Brian Andreas and writing in my blank book. To me: bliss. Sometimes days like these inspire me to create, and most days I chicken out because I wouldn't know what to do.

BUT, thanks to Kim and the fact that I couldn't resist getting something she'll make for me, I have agreed, in turn, to make something for the first 5 people that comment on this blog.

So. The rules.

The first five people to comment on this post will receive something made by me, especially for you.

And the fine print:

1- Since I choose what I make for you, there is no guarantee you will like what I make.
2- There are no returns/exchanges.
3- It will be for you and only you.
4- It'll be done sometime this year.
5- You will have no idea what it's going to be.

And the catch - because there is always a catch...you have to post this on your blog and offer the same deal to 5 of your own readers.

So, if you'd like a Kjersti-inspired gift, please comment now.

Pictures Involving Lots Of Pink

If anyone is wondering why I post far more pictures of Reagan than I do of Kameryn, here's the answer: Kami doesn't like being in pictures very much lately. And Reagan is still too young to run away.

Not a great picture of her teeth, but there they are. In all their majesty.

Reagan: Six Months Old!

If you're finding it hard to believe that Reagan is already 6 months old, believe me. So am I. Reagan, however, thinks that she's far older than she is, and is getting frustrated with all the baby stuff, like not walking and not eating real food. And so, one of her developments this month: Her two bottom teeth (picture to be posted later. You know, because I don't have one yet.)
So, Reagan is a big baby. It's hard to believe we used to tease her about her chicken legs, because she's so much bigger now. This baby loves to eat. Unlike Kameryn. Much more like Jay and me. And she may or may not be wearing 12-18 month pants. And the 12 months shirts that Jay just bought for her yesterday? Really tight. Which just goes to show that we do feed her. Every once in awhile.Reagan is so fun to be around because she's really happy. She loves to laugh, and she loves her sister. I think she'll be crawling in no time, and once she figures it out, I think she's going to be zooming around this place. I love to see how fast she's learning, but I can't believe how fast it's all going by. I can't wait until I'm with her everyday.

Sixth of the Sixth

1. Go to your documents/pictures.

2. Go to your 6th file.

3. Go to your 6th picture.

4. Blog about it.

5. Tag 6 people to do the same.

I got tagged by Abby to do this, and this is the picture that came up:My friends may have to help me fill in the blanks on this one a bit. I know that we were going out to dinner for Katie's (far right) birthday, and her parents took us to and from in this limo. We went to a really fancy restaurant, one that had 7 courses and brought us ice cream in the middle of the meal. To cleanse our pallets. And I felt like we were SO cool. I want to say we were 14? 15? I'm not sure.
I've been so lucky to have good friends my entire life. Even still I feel like we can get together and pick up where we left off almost effortlessly, no matter how much time has gone by.

So let's see. Tagging 6 people:
1. Allison
2. Danae
3. Mom
4. Special K
5. Liv(e)
6. Allie's Amanda

The Books Of January

As always, this year I've set a goal to read more often, and last year asked for suggestions on good books. I ended up reading these three, only one of them being from the suggestions I received, but I figure at least I'm going in the right direction.

First book was "Marked" by P.C. Cast and Kristin Cast. My aunt Dariece suggested it (Thank you!) It's about vampyres and people who liked Twilight would probably like this one as well. It's an easy read and entertaining, but not as squeaky clean as Twilight. I liked it. Jay really liked it and went out and bought the next 3 books, which he then read in 2 days. And the next one is coming out in March. I would say the book is a mix between Twilight and Mean Girls, and worth picking up.

The second book I read was "An Exact Replica of a Figment of my Imagination." We had gone to the library to get the second book in the Marked series, and this book caught my eye. I picked it up because I thought that the title was interesting, and when I read the back it wasn't my type of book at all. It's a memoir about a woman who gives birth to a stillborn baby, and then a year later gives birth to a healthy baby. I don't do well with sad stories about babies. But I checked it out anyway, thinking maybe I could work up the courage to read it, and after I finished Marked I read the first chapter. The author, Elizabeth McCracken, is a really funny, insightful author who writes a beautiful tribute to her experience and her first baby. Each chapter is almost like a short story in itself, and some of them made me laugh, and some made me bawl. But the book was amazing, and I HIGHLY recommend it to anyone.

The last book I read was "The Book Thief" by Markus Zusak. It was one Allison read and recommended to me. And what can I say about this book? Any way I try to describe it won't do it justice. When I was reading it, I could read 100 pages and it felt like only a couple minutes had gone by. The story is beautiful and the writing is genius. Once you read this book, it will own a small piece of your soul. I think everyone should read it, and at the same time, I don't think anyone should read it that wouldn't understand how amazing it is. I don't know what kind of a recommendation that is, but it's the best I can do.

Up Next: Gone with the Wind. Since the book is 1024 pages it's one I wouldn't even attempt, but my friend Abby recommended it, and Abby knows her stuff. So I'm hoping to be finish it in February.

Waiting on the Weather...

So, a couple weeks ago I gave my job notice that I'll be leaving when the weather gets warm. Jay makes enough when he's working at his seasonal job that we've decided I'll stay home with our girls. I know that it's a risky thing to do with the economy the way it is, and I realize that I may be home a couple months and then asking my current job if they'll take me back, but it's worth it to me to try. Which is a little surprising, because growing up I never thought I would want to be a stay at home mom. I kinda resented the idea of it. But come on, how could I know back then how much you miss your babies when you have to leave them for 8 hours? How could I know that your kids immediately become the people you don't want to be away from for any substantial amount of time?
So I know I'm leaving, but I don't know when. And because of that, it doesn't feel real at all. Especially now when it warms up a little bit and then snows the next day. But I'm looking forward to the transition and excited about what it will mean for me.
Thank you for everyone that I've told so far that's supported me. Like I said, I know it's risky. But I also think it's exactly the right thing for me right now.

Mostly Right

I have a lot of things I need to update on, and obviously I've fallen a little behind. I'll be updating a lot more frequently in the next few days. Story number one for today involves potty training Kami. We started a couple weeks ago, and Kameryn is doing extremely well with it. We've got her a little Elmo potty to sit on, and she hasn't had very many accidents during the day. We're so proud of her. And she's proud of herself.
There was just ONE thing we needed to be a little more clear on explaining to her. Had to do with quantity.
Lesson learned.

If You're In the Mood to Laugh...

Please visit Jay's website and watch the video he took of my girls yesterday. I don't know that words can adequately describe exactly how it makes me feel....

Sisters

Reagan has recently decided that she's done with the whole baby-staying-in-the-same-place business. A couple weeks ago she started sitting up by herself, and a week ago she decided to master rolling from her back onto her belly. Kameryn didn't start sitting up by herself until she was 6 months old, and Reagan is 4.5 months old, but I'm not really surprised that she's doing it a bit early: Reagan wants to be just like Kameryn. She thinks Kameryn is the coolest, most entertaining person on the planet. If Kameryn talks to her, Reagan will instantly burst into laughter. There's nothing I like better than seeing my two girls playing together, which is happening more and more often.

I know that Reagan's going to take Kami's clothes without asking and Kami will probably tell Reagan that "lunch is a privilege and not a right" at some point, but I'm so glad that my girls get along so well. I hope they'll have the type of relationship that I have with my sisters!

4 Months Old!

Reagan turned 4 months old yesterday. Which is weird. Seriously, how is it going by so fast? Jay was so excited because 4 months is the time that we can start giving Reagan rice cereal, which he wanted to do right away. And Reagan? She's just glad someone is FINALLY feeding her! Mainly since no one EVER does!

Christmas At Home

This year's modest Christmas was Reagan's first, and the first one that Kameryn will probably be old enough to remember and healthy enough to enjoy!

Getting ready to go see what Santa brought!
Reagan, not so sure about this whole Christmas thing.
Reagan's new octopus, which talks when you press his legs and teaches her color names in 3 languages!
Reagan thinking this whole Christmas thing is pretty cool!
Kameryn was so mad after we got her dressed in an outfit Santa brought that she decided she hated Christmas and didn't want to open ANY presents. So I told her she didn't have to open any of her presents, but we should watch while Reagan opened some of hers. And after seeing how this whole present thing worked, Kami decided maybe she would try it out after all. The first present she opened was this little dog from Santa.Who she has totally fallen in love with. When I asked her what the doggy's name was, she told me, "Doggy Mackenna."
This was the first phase of Christmas. After our Christmas, we went to Jay's parents house and then to Allie's house for my family. And we got so much stuff, I think it will be like a second Christmas when we go through it today to put everything away! Thank you to everyone who spoiled me and my family and especially my girls!!!

Undead - Hollywood Undead

1.Put your iPod/iTunes on shuffle to get the first answer.
2. For each subsequent question, press the next button to get your answer.
3. YOU MUST WRITE THAT SONG NAME DOWN NO MATTER HOW SILLY IT SOUNDS!
4. Tag 10 friends who might enjoy doing the game as well as the person you got the note from.

IF SOMEONE ASKS YOU FOR SPARE CHANGE, WHAT DO YOU SAY?
74-75 - the Connells

WHAT WOULD BEST DESCRIBE YOUR PERFECT DATE?
Smooth - Carlos Santana and Rob Thomas

WHAT DO YOU LOOK FOR IN A JOB?
The Origin Of Love - Hedwig and the Angry Inch Soundtrack

WHAT IS YOUR LATEST DILEMMA?
Alone - Heart

WHY DON'T YOU HAVE MORE MONEY?
When I Grow Up - Pussycat Dolls

WHAT IS YOUR SECRET NICKNAME?
Love Me Dead - Ludo

WHERE DO YOU GO AT NIGHT?
Bleeding Love - Leona Lewis

WHAT IS YOUR EMERGENCY PLAN?
Hey You - Pink Floyd

WHAT DO YOU WANT FOR YOUR FRIENDS?
Sad But True - Metallica (?)

WHAT DO YOU DO FIRST THING IN THE MORNING?
Candy From a Stranger - Britney Spears

WHAT IS YOUR RINGTONE?
Sweet Caroline - Neil Diamond

WHERE DO YOU WANT TO BE IN FIVE YEARS?
Closer - Nine Inch Nails

WHAT IS YOUR POLITICAL AFFILIATION?
Disease - Matchbox 20

WHAT CAN YOU DO FOR YOUR COUNTRY?
Down and Out - Tantric

WHAT CAN YOUR COUNTRY DO FOR YOU?
Dreaming with a Broken Heart - John Mayer

WHAT ARE YOU LOOKING AT?
Hallelujah - Kate Vogel

WHAT IS YOUR PROBLEM, PAL?
I Will Follow You Into The Dark - Death Cab for Cutie

WHAT IS ON YOUR CHRISTMAS WISH LIST?
Push Push Lady Lightening - Bang Camero

WHAT'S THE BEST SONG TO MAKE LOVE TO?
You Could Be Happy - Snow Patrol

WHAT WOULD YOU DO FOR A KLONDIKE BAR?
Gives You Hell - The All-American Rejects

WHY DO FOOLS FALL IN LOVE ?
Into the Night - Carlos Santana

WHAT MAKES YOUR BLOOD BOIL?
Womanizer - Britney Spears

WHAT MAKES YOUR LOINS ACHE?
When Your Heart Stops Beating - Plus 44

WHAT'S THE SECRET OF YOUR SUCCESS?
Scottie Doesn't Know - Sum 41

WHOM DO YOU ADMIRE MOST?
Genie in a Bottle - Christina Aguilera

WHO IS YOUR MORTAL ENEMY?
The Devil Went Down to Georgia - Charlie Daniels Band (Awesome!)

WHAT HAVE YOU DONE WITH YOUR LIFE?
Set The Fire To the Third Bar- Snow Patrol

WHAT HAVE WE LEARNED?
Put the Needle on It - Minogue

WHAT WILL YOU POST THIS AS?
Undead - Hollywood Undead

I tag Wesley, Allison, Danae, Chelsee, Geoffrey, Kim, Abby, Amanda, Liv and Jay.

WE: What do you do when you don't feel heard?

My answer can be found here.

Treats

I love a good Mountain Dew. Kami loves the aforementioned peanut butter on a spoon. And Reagan has a favorite treat as well:
She loves a good foot. One is good, but two are better.
Sometimes when you're sucking on a good toe, you just are able to ponder the world in all it's majesty.

Interpretations

I was in the kitchen today before work, making egg sandwiches for lunch. Kami starts asking for something, but I can't quite understand what she's asking for. At first it sounds like, "Piter."
"Spider?" I guess.
"No."
When she says it the second time it sounds more like "Potter."
"Water?" I guess.
Wrong again. Kami can tell she's going to have to spell this one out for me, so she starts explaining in steps, slowly, so I can follow. Obviously, sometimes you have to simplify so Mom can understand.
"Spoon." She says while opening the drawer and pulling out a spoon for herself. Then she goes to the pantry, opens it, and points up.
"Potter. POTTER."
And it dawns on me. Butter. Peanut butter. My daughter wants a spoonful of peanut butter. And I know that some people think that is a really weird thing to do, and I get that.
I, on the other hand, do it on a regular basis.
And now, Kami and I can enjoy our peanut butter together. Spoonfuls of it. And there's something that makes me so happy about that.

My Girls

I remember being pregnant with Reagan and worrying that there was no way I could love another baby as much as I love Kameryn. It seems silly, but it was a real concern. Now, I don't know if there's anything that I love more than seeing my family all together. Reagan is full of sweet baby smiles, and Kami loves talking to her and getting her to smile and coo. And I'm so proud of both of them.


This was the first picture I took of them.
And then the flash popped up and surprised them both...
Beautiful Girls!CHEESE!!!