Reagan: Two Months Old

Sometimes I feel like there's so much going on in my life right now that I haven't been able to really revel in the miracle of Reagan as much as I'd like to. She's so perfect and starting to get such a sweet personality. She smiles a lot, and she has this smile where her mouth is ALL the way open and her face just glows. When she gives you that smile it doesn't matter how you felt before it, because it will melt your heart.
She's also getting more beautiful by the day. Sometimes when I look at her first thing in the morning I can tell she looks a little bit different then when we went to bed. She's a sweet baby, and easy for the most part. Feed her, pay attention to her and she's happy. She's such a sweet addition to the family.

First Haircut

Kameryn wasn't scared at all of getting her hair cut. She was so impressed with being able to sit in a chair and stare at herself in the mirror, I think she probably wonders why we don't do that sort of thing more often.

Going Into My Blank Book

I watched this video of Ellen Degeneres once, and then wrote the entire thing down in my blank book. I couldn't get the actual video on my blog, but please watch it here.

"I think people are gonna be who they're gonna be, and we need to learn to love them for who they are and let them love who they wanna love." Beautifully said.

"It's Cheese!"

I don't know how to turn the video, so I'm sorry about that, but the best part of it is the sound, so turn up your speakers. This was awhile ago, as you can probably tell, but I think it's pretty classic. And since it's a little bit hard to understand, at the end of the video I ask Kami how old she is, and then start laughing because her answer is, "Good."

Jay and I just learned how to upload videos, and he's got one on his blog that we took last night of Kami playing the Guitar Hero guitar and singing a song. My favorite part is that she starts it out by saying "Come on Everybody!" So I suggest checking out that one, too! Because I'm one of those mom's who thinks everyone wants to watch her kids. I'll admit it.

Tagged, Part 2

So, once again I've been tagged to answer some questions. Here it goes:

What I was Doing 10 Years Ago:
1. I was in 9th grade at Millcreek Jr. High. And I HATED IT.
2. I was dating (if it's possible to "date" at 14) a guy that my friends didn't like and my family hated. I didn't listen to them because I was SURE we were gonna get married. Lesson Learned: Don't ignore your friends and family. They were so right.
3. I was in Madrigals, a choir you had to try out to be in. I really liked it, but looking back, I probably should've taken band.
4. I think at this point I was taking pictures. ALL. THE. TIME. I didn't go anywhere without my camera and I would tape all the pictures on the walls in my room.
5. I feel really lucky to say that my best friends 10 years ago are still my best friends today.

5 Things On My To-Do List Today:
1. Clean the apartment. I'm on maternity leave and so this is a constant on my to-do list because it almost never fails that as soon as I get something cleaned up, Kami wants to play where I've been and messes it up again. In addition sometimes Reagan will let me put her down long enough to get things done, and sometimes she won't. Luckily for me, today I got a lot done.
2. Go to my 6 week post-pardum appointment to get birth controlled. Not as bad as I thought it would be, and now I don't need to worry about getting pregnant for 5 years!
3. Watch Felicity with Chelsee. Damn the person who thought of putting seasons of TV shows on DVD. So many hours of my life have been stolen because I have no self control and NEED to know if she's gonna end up with Ben or Noel.
4. As always, my daily routine of checking my E-mail, checking Facebook and watching for updates on the blogs I follow.
5. Laundry. Another constant on the list.

5 Favorite Snacks:
1. Mountain Dew.
2. Animal Crackers
3. Dove Ice Cream
4. Peanut Butter
5. Popcorn

5 Jobs I Have Had
1. Dick's Market Bagger
2. Baskin Robbins Ice Cream Scooper
3. Einstein's Shift Manager
4. Arctic Circle Minion
5. Medical Assistant/ X-ray Tech

5 Things I Would Do with a Million Dollars
1. Stay home with my girls.
2. Put enough aside that my girls could both go to college.
3. TRIP TO EUROPE.
4. Buy a House.
5. Pay off debts.

5 Things That Made Me Laugh This Week:
1. Jay pretending to be a back-up singer for Matchbox 20.
2. An E-mail from Tara
3. Kameryn's "Conversation" with Steve on the phone:
"Hey Steve. Where are you?" Pauses, then starts laughing. "Ewww! Gross!"
4. Kim's blog and the story about the guy who sung to her
5. Dooce

My Achilles Heel

When I Listen To My Heart:

My answer can be found here.

Reagan: One Month Old

What Are You Doing This Fall?

My answer can be found here.

Two Babies

I was really nervous about how Kami would react to having a new baby around. Some advice I got on the topic was that I should buy Kami a new doll at the same time I brought the baby home and I should encourage her to take care of the doll the same way that I took care of the new baby to help Kam feel included.
After we brought Reagan home Kami handled it so well that I didn't bother with getting her a doll. However, she adopted a new baby of her own, and I introduce to you, Baby Monkey. And yeah, Kami chose that name.

When Kameryn wakes up, the first thing she wants to know is where her Baby Monkey is. She carries him around, changes his diaper, lets us know when he's crying, feeds him a bottle and, as weird as it sounds, pretends to breastfeed him. She says, "Look Mommy! Two babies!" And then she will point out that I've got MY baby,

And she has her baby.

I'm actually really proud of her for finding a way to deal with what's going on. And, as a bonus for me, I use Baby Monkey to help me get Kameryn dressed, saying I'll dress her after Kameryn puts her clothes on. So really, everybody wins!

What Do You Appreciate Most About America?

I don't know how to link back to Flickr, but that is where I got the picture from. I would love to get help from anyone who understands how to link back so I can do it in the future.

The Pink Princess

Kameryn hates getting dressed. I always have to brace myself when the time comes to put clothes on her, because some of the worst temper tantrums so far have come about because we dress her. We've learned that the rest of us have to be ready to walk out the door so that we can hurry and put clothes on Kameryn and leave before she has a chance to rip them off again.
Yesterday right before we were supposed to leave to go to my in-laws for dinner I was mentally preparing myself to get Kameryn dressed. And then she ran up to me in clothes that she had put on herself, and she was thrilled.

Yes, that's my tank top. And, faced with the decision of taking the tank top off of her and changing her into something else or letting her wear the tank top up to her grandparents house, you better believe I tightened the tank top up in the back with a hair tie and put her in her car seat.
And you will notice that she was so convinced she was a princess in a princess dress that she even has the pointed toe to prove it.

A Scrapbook of her First Week

My Beautiful New Girl

I'm awake while my baby is asleep. I'm breaking the golden rule of being a new mom because #1. Reagan slept through the night last night, so I've gotten plenty of sleep and #2. Because things thus far have been so perfect, it's hard not to be awake and in anticipation of what's going to happen next.
This all happened a bit differently than I was expecting. I started having contractions Wednesday morning at about 4am, but they were still the "Oh! There's a contraction, how fun! Let's wait and see when the next one is, Oh! I hope it's soon!" kinda contractions. I will never forget when I had those going into labor with Kameryn, I called my mom and told her excitedly that "We might have a baby in April after all, I'm feeling some contractions!" And she said, "It's probably not labor, then, Kjersti, because no one is excited about those contractions!" And I had Kameryn two days later, and man, my mom was right.
So after falling asleep in between contractions for the next couple hours, I prepared myself for the next couple days, thinking it would be about that long until we got to meet our little girl. At 6 I woke up to use the bathroom and saw blood. Not a ton, but enough to make me panic and head straight to the phone to call Dr. Allie. Pregnancy has made me appreciate having Dr. Hanna only a call away, no matter the time of day, so thanks for that Allison! And Allie told me I needed to go get checked out.
I called Jay at work and said what are apparently the magic words, "I'm bleeding" because he was home not 5 minutes later throwing a bag together and pushing me out the door so we could head to the hospital. At that point I was the one saying, "Jay, calm down, it's no big deal." I thought they were going to send us right back home, and I would have the reassurance that everything was fine but I still had some time to do what I had planned before the baby actually came. We drove to the hospital joking about my contractions and planning on picking up some breakfast on our way back home. Outside the hospital I had a contraction that made me stop walking, but Jay cracked a joke and I laughed the entire way through the contraction, despite it hurting. So this couldn't really be it, right?
We walked in and got taken back to a room almost right away, and the nurse came in to check me. I was dialated to a 2, but 80% effaced, so they said that they would check me again in an hour. The hour passed quickly, we watched some TV and my contractions got worse. She came back in and checked again, and I was dialated to a 2.5, so she said she would wait another hour and check again. Not wanting to be sent home, Jay and I decided to start walking around the hospital. We overheard that every labor room in the hospital, 30 total, was full, and it was about 9am. So I was hoping for the contractions, but they also were getting passed the "Oh, how fun!" stage. In fact, Jay kept having to remind me to breathe through them instead of holding my breath, and it made me mad enough that all I could manage to say was, "DON'T tell me to breathe!"
When she checked again she said what we had been waiting to hear: That we could stay. I would've been happier, but the contractions were coming just a couple minutes after each other by that point, and it was hard to focus on much of anything. The nurse offered a pain med, which I accepted, and I now I am a firm believer in the magic of Fentanyl. She said it wouldn't stop the pain, it would just take the edge off, but after she gave it to me I was telling Jay how much I loved him and how good I now felt. I love the stuff.
And then, not too much later, the anesthesiologist came in to give me my epidural. He was a good guy, and though he had a little trouble getting it in, it wasn't bad. I had been a little scared for that part, but luckily it turned out to not be a big deal, and thankfully afterwards I couldn't feel my contractions at all. And then we just had to wait.
Danae, Allison and Mom all came after noon and kept me company. I swear after that my nurse must've been convinced that all of us were crazy, especially when they made up an instant song about Patossin. Then, at 3, we were ready. The family took bets on how long it would take for Reagan to make her appearance, and Allison suited up to catch the baby and catch her cord. Three pushes later, my baby was here. I've been dreaming about that moment, the one when you've delivered the baby and you get to see her for the first time, and there's really no way to describe it when they put a perfect, beautiful little girl in your arms. And my little girl looks so much like her sister.

My mom told me that I would be amazed to see Kameryn after having Reagan because you get to realize how much they've grown up. When we went to my recovery room my in-laws were there with Kameryn, and it was just how my mom described it to see my other daughter up, walking around and talking to "Steve" on the cell phone. And I did get a huge dose of amazement about how much she's grown as while she was talking on the phone she said, "Steve, I need to borrow money, yo." I swear, I don't know where she learned that!
I was worried about Kameryn and how she would react to the baby, but she has taken it beautifully. She loves Reagan and wants to be close to her, and in the hospital when the nurses would come in to take her vitals she would tell them "Don't touch her!" until we explained that they were being nice and helping the baby. Anytime they took her out of the room to the nursery, Kameryn would mope and cry.

I'm not usually the type, but it makes me wonder if they've known each other before. In a way, it almost feels like Kameryn has been waiting for Reagan to get here.
Jay is amazing with Reagan. I love to watch them together.

So, that's the story. I know that the baby blues may still be making their appearance, and I know that I'm sure to be overwhelmed and wonder what I've gotten myself into, but even with all of that I'm so grateful for my family and excited to see us grow together.

Life With a 2 Year Old: An Actual Conversation

Jay: "Do you want to watch the doggie and the cat?" Translation: Milo and Otis.
Kameryn: "No, the doggie and cat and pig."
Jay: "Okay, do you want to watch the movie with the doggie and cat and the pig?"
Kameryn: "No, the doggie and cat and pig SLEEPING."
Jay: "Do you want to watch the movie with the doggie and the cat and the sleeping pig?"
Kameryn: "NO, the doggie and the car and the cat and the pig sleeping."
Jay, probably feeling a little like he's playing "This is the House that Jack Built": "Okay, do you want to watch the movie with the doggie and the car and the cat and the pig sleeping?"
Kameryn: "....Yes. PLEASE?"

Keeping It Simple

Lately I'm really trying to slow down and appreciate my life the way it is now, since there's a giant countdown to the day my life will change again forever, and that day isn't too far off. I'm really trying to appreciate the time I have with Kameryn, just her and me. She's getting so big and so smart and can say so much that I know it's going to be hard starting over again with a newborn. I know my sweet girl will help me all she can, though, and while I know that she's going to be jealous sometimes, I think over-all she's going to be an amazing big sister. I hope it can develop into a type of relationship like Wes and Allie have, just without the bottle stealing.

Tonight it was fun putting Kameryn in the "tubbit," which it the word she has invented for the tub, and we don't quite know why she adds the extra syllable. Tonight she was singing a song about getting into the tub, which sounded a lot like, "Tubbit! ad dah and a ma Soap! an bah and a Water! a la and a Bubbles!" I was using a rag to get her hair wet while she was playing her usual game of "Throw the Soap in the Tub and then dig through the bubbles to find it" and she got mad at me. "No hair wet, Mommy!" And then she took the cup we have in there for her, filled it to the top and dumped the water on her head. Totally shocked by what she had done to herself, she sat there panting a little bit, and then yelled, "I DID IT!" and started laughing. Her sweet little stories make me so happy. And I know that soon I'm not going to remember really well what life was like before Reagan, but when I do, I hope it's the fun stories like this I remember best, even though they're simple.

The 4th of July

Since I don't have Chelsee's mad photography skills, and because it's hard to get two babies to look hold still, let alone both look at the camera, I know my pictures aren't the best. It documents more the fact that we were there, and doesn't really show how much the kids liked the fireworks. But they did both (mostly) enjoy them, besides Isaac getting a little scared at the loud ones, and Kameryn paying more attention to the "baby flag" than the actual fireworks sometimes. Isaac liked to say "All gone!" Once the firework was over.

Being Stubborn

So, there are some facts I know about myself. One is that once I make a decision, good or bad, I tend to jump in with both feet. Only after I've given something my all do I really step back to decide if it was a good decision or not.
Another thing I know about myself is that if you approach me in the wrong way, even with good advice, my impulse is to rebel. My dad told me once I have a "Yes or No" personality, and when I have a hard time seeing the gray areas to things, and this is a time I know he's right. If you push me too hard one way, I like to go to the other extreme. It may be childish, and I totally acknowledge that, but it doesn't make it any less true.
I would like to think the beautiful part about friendships is that they're genuine. And when someone tells me that I need to be friends with this person or that person OR ELSE, it doesn't make me want to embrace the person at all. It makes me want to avoid them. And if my intentions are miscommunicated, it doesn't mean that they're not good intentions.
Maybe I should think twice before I work in an office full of girls again.

Hormones

I'm not exactly sure what it is, but lately I think I'm finally starting to grasp the fact that I'm pregnant again. A little late, right? I know it. I don't know what caused the change, exactly. It could be that I'm starting to pop out of all my clothes, or that the baby is big enough that she can make my whole belly shake when she moves, and she moves ALL THE TIME. It could be that I got my first presents for the baby. (Thanks Wes and Elisabeth!) Whatever it is, I've gone completely into nesting mode. I can't get my apartment clean fast enough, and with how dirty our apartment usually is it doesn't happen fast at all, unfortunately. I did find a couple of helpful tips, for anyone who may be interested: The product I've found that gets marker off the walls? Hand Sanitizer. Works like a charm. I've heard that hairspray gets pen off, and I'm going to try that tonight. The dorkiest part is how excited that makes me.
Being pregnant of course comes with all the hormones, and I find myself loving and hating some really simple things. For example, I watched "Knocked Up" tonight and totally cried at the end. I also cry during dances on "So You Think You Can Dance." Anyone who doesn't has no soul. On the flipside, I've started to get annoyed with some random things. Like Sleeping Beauty. Okay, I love the movie as much as anyone else. But the witch casts the spell on her that "On her 16th birthday she'll prick her finger on the spindle of a spinning wheel and die" Right? Yeah, has anyone SEEN Sleeping Beauty when she pricks her finger? Beautiful. Great body, perfect complexion. Does ANYONE actually look like that at 16? I don't think so. I sure didn't.
I also am paying much more attention to the kids songs we sing. Which in turn begs the question, who came up with Rock-A-Bye Baby? 'When the bough breaks, the cradle will fall, and down will come baby, cradle and all.' Nice. So soothing, it's a wonder kids don't always go right to sleep. There's also "Ring Around the Rosies," which Kameryn's Grandma Ertmann taught her, and I still find it a little disturbing when she calls out "Ashes!" when she wants to play.
And a word to the wise, if anyone saw "Match Point" and liked it, avoid it while pregnant. I really liked it the first time around, and when I tried to watch it again I had to turn it off.
So there it is, a pregnant rant. And even if you don't get anything from the rest of the post, keep in mind the marker- hand sanitizer thing. That may come in handy.

Thoughts While Driving Home From Oregon

1. I've heard that some people know instinctively if their lives will end early. Some people just know they're not going to last long. I wonder if Jonathan Larson was one of those people. And if he was, I wonder if facing his mortality helped him to get "Rent" out of his head and onto paper. Because if it did, I would consider trying to get in touch with my own mortality a little bit better, even though it scares me. And I'm not even hoping for "Rent," per say, I think I'd be happy if I could come up with some original "La Vie Boheme."

2. There's signs all along the freeway warning cars not to pass snow plows on the right. I catch myself thinking that maybe they should take all the signs down and let natural selection take care of that problem. I bet that way we could give out some more Darwin Awards.

Weekend Plans

Talking to Jay yesterday:
Me: "I want to do something new and fun this weekend. Something we've never done before that will be soul-reviving."
Jay: "Like, playing Grand Theft Auto?"

Corrected

The family was outside while Jay was setting up his new grill, and Kameryn was entertaining herself running around jumping on leaves that were blowing in the wind and constantly asking what things were. She walked up to a wooden telephone pole and asked, "What's that?"
"Um, a pole." I answered.
"NOOO." She corrected. "It's a TREE!"
I don't know WHERE she gets the attitude OR the smart-ass-ness from. At least she's confident!

Tagged

My friend Abby tagged me to do this post, and since I'm usually horrible with actually doing these things I thought I'd give it a try.

JOYS:
1. Hearing Kameryn talk. Even though a lot of what she says is "Go Away!" and "Stop it!", it makes it worth it to wake up in the morning and hear her say, "Hi Mama!" or tell me she loves me too.
2. Getting to be with Jay when we can just sit and BE without having to be anywhere or worry about Kameryn. It's not too often we can do it in our lives right now, and when it happens it recharges my soul. Honestly.
3. Seeing sweet baby Reagan in ultrasounds. I'm awed by how perfect she is and I love when Jay can see how often she kicks and rolls. It makes me feel validated and is the closest I can come to sharing that part with him. Plus, at our last ultrasound the tech took 5 pictures, and three of them were of Reagan's face. When she realized it, she apologized and said, "Your baby is just so beautiful, I kept taking pictures of her! I couldn't help myself!

FEARS:
1. Death. My own or anyone I care about. I don't like talking about it, and if Jay brings it up, he can tell you it takes me about 3 seconds to start crying.
2. Not accomplishing my goals.
3. Being a bad mom. I don't want to let my kids down by not teaching them what they need to know.

GOALS:
1. Letting my kids know constantly how much I love them.
2. Owning a house one day. And right now that day seems very very far off.
3. Going to Scotland, and hopefully taking a tour of Europe in general, before I die.

CURRENT OBSESSIONS/COLLECTIONS:
1. Barack Obama. I love his speeches, I love hearing what he has to say, and right now I'm trying to read one of the books he's written, "The Audacity Of Hope." I feel a little bit like a poser, though, since the book is about politics and thus makes references to politicians and I have no idea who he's talking about. And in order to help get certain points across he uses sports metaphors. So I'm lost on both counts.
2. I have a blank book that I bought recently and I'm using it to write down things I hear or read that make me happy or mean something to me. I have quotes, poems, and Obama speeches written in there so far. And it has pictures of coffee on the front, which also makes me happy.
3. Facebook. That's an obsession I'm not as proud of, but an obsession nonetheless since I check it constantly. Constantly.

RANDOM SURPRISING FACTS:
1. Growing up my two best friends both wanted to be surgeons, and I was the one who wasn't at all interested because I didn't like the idea of blood or shots or pain in general. The reason I went to Medical Assisting school was because I was out of work for a little while and when I checked the job listings in the newspaper there were always a ton for Medical Assistants. Now I love my job more than anything, it suits me perfectly.
2. I don't know my right from my left. I have to look at my hands, or really concentrate to figure that one out. I have only recently learned North, South, etc., and that only works HERE, put me anywhere else and I'm totally lost. Without Jay, I don't think I'd be able to get from here to there.
3. I'd love to write something and get it published before I die. Ideally something like "To Kill a Mockingbird", but even a poem or short story would work. I'd love to leave some piece of myself behind when I go.

And now I'm supposed to tag 5 people to do this post, but since I am so bad with it myself I'm not gonna try to pass it on. If you're interested, it's kinda fun.

Look How Cool!

What Happens In Vegas...

There were a few things about Vegas I would've changed. It was HOT. Not nearly as hot as the first time we went down, but still too hot. Kami was all over the place, and as usual, she wouldn't eat anything. Well, not anything but butter and cream cheese.
But everything was worth it because I got to be there to see Allison walk across the stage. I was so proud of my sister and impressed by her accomplishments. She's a huge inspiration to me in regards to putting the time and work in to making what you dream turn into a reality. I love that she's moving home (into one of the cutest houses I've ever seen) so that I can be around her! I love you, Allison! Congratulations on kicking so much ass!

Reagan Mackenna

So, we went for another ultrasound today because Reagan was completely content to stay up under my belly button last time and as such there were parts of her anatomy, her heart specifically, that the doctor couldn't see. We went in today with a list of things they wanted to spot, and we got most of them. However, last time we couldn't get her to move, so this time we couldn't get her to hold still. And that seems to be the running theme with my girls thus far: Impossible.
I don't have a scanner to show good pictures of the ultrasound photos, but I'm excited enough about them that I've taken pictures of the pictures with my camera. Please forgive the quality and go straight to the oohing and aahing over what a perfect little girl we've got coming:
This is the baby's face. Today the doctor was checking for a cleft lip, and she said, "This baby has such beautiful lips, it's hard not to take 100 pictures of them!" Jay says she gets that from him, but come on, we all know who it really came from, right?
Here's a tiny foot.
And here's a beautiful arm and hand! Look at those bones! A mom couldn't ask for better bones!
And finally, a good strong heartbeat. Kameryn's heartbeat was something that we had to keep an eye on before she was born, so it's a relief to hear that this baby's heart is perfect so far!
Still, after taking all these pictures and also finding her femurs, kidneys, bladder and cord insertion there still were some pictures they weren't able to take since Reagan wouldn't hold still. They'd like me to go back in another month to look for the aortic arch and her brain, since they couldn't see either as well as they would've liked. As much as I would like her to cooperate, I can't say I mind getting to see her every few weeks! I'm completely excited to see her, and am starting to get impatient for her to make her arrival! And, if you're wondering, they estimate that right now she weighs about 1 pound, 6 ounces!

My Current Favorite Picture

Extreme Elmo, an Elmo easter basket (which she refused to use on Easter) and inside the basket, her baby Elmo. It gets a little redundant, but it totally worth it because of how happy it makes her.