Love Letter, Month 9

It's crazy for me to think that Kameryn has now been in the world with us longer than I was pregnant with her. While I was pregnant the time seemed to drag on and on. Since Kameryn was born time seems to fly by, and there's never quite enough time. In the beginning there was never enough time for sleep, and then not enough maternity leave, and now it seems like there isn't enough time between getting home from work and when Kameryn goes to bed. I love playing with her and I love following her lead of keeping things simple and delighting in finding new things to look at and explore.

Kameryn had her 9 month check up yesterday, and she's at a healthy 19 lbs 6 oz and 29 inches long! The doctor looked her over and said that she looks perfect, which I agreed with completely. He asked if she's doing things like waving and playing patty-cake, and when he turned back to the computer to write in the chart she waved at him, and stopped abruptly when he looked at her again. She did it several times, and he never got to see.

The big news for the last month is that Kameryn is pulling herself up to a standing position, she's doing it in her crib and in her Pack n' Play. I think the best part is how proud she gets of herself after she does it.

We're trying to be better at feeding her consistantly. One thing that has me a little surprised is what a picky eater she seems to be! Jay and I will happilly eat about anything put in front of us, but it's taking a little bit longer with Kameryn since we're giving her such crazy foods as peas and green beans and applesauce. The doctor told us yestreday that we can actually start feeding Kameryn eggs and meats at this point, and "most all table food, except dairy." I don't think we're to that point yet. We'll try and master the Hawaiian Delight, and then we'll move onto hamburger.

I knew that the doctor was going to tell us that it's time to start weaning Kameryn from a bottle to a sippy cup, so I gave Kameryn one filled with juice to see how she did with it. She absolutely loved it. She loved the handles and loved sucking on the little spout, but everytime she got any of the juice out of it she looked at it like it had wronged her and immeadiatly spit all the juice onto her bib. Then, with that issue out of the way, she would start playing with it again.

I've been impressed with how tough Kameryn is. She'll bump her head or fall back onto her knees when she's trying to stand up, but she doesn't seem to let it bother or deter her. I even brought home the second dose of her flu shot and gave it to her myself, and she didn't make a peep. She's so strong and healthy, and that's something that I'm so grateful for.

This is Kameryn waving to herself in the mirror. She loves watching herself and she will stare if she sees another baby anywhere we go. She really loves Cousin Isaac. When Danae was over here the other day we were having her kiss him, and she would laugh when she got close to his head. She loves to kiss him and squeals when she gets to touch him. I'm excited for them to grow up together because I think they'll be best friends.

And, as strongly as ever, I love to watch Kameryn with her Dad. She loves him so much. We've seen her on the ground crawling around, and when she sees her dad she'll crawl to him as quickly as she can and climb up his legs until he'll hold her. Sometimes when she's just with me in the mornings she'll be fidgety and restless, and then once her dad comes home and holds her, she'll fall right to sleep, like that was exactly what she was waiting for. Don't tell anyone, but he's a total sucker for her, too.

I know the ends of these letters might get redundant because I always end with telling Kameryn how much I love her and how proud I am of her. The problem is, I simply can't help it. As she gets older I just love her more and more, which doesn't seem possible because I didn't know it was possible to love someone so completely and then have that love constantly growing.

It's been a year and a half since I found out I was pregnant and my life changed forever. Kameryn, I want you to know that I know every day how lucky I am to have you in my life. Already, at 9 months old, you're one of my very favorite people, and I'm inspired by you and everything that you've already taught me. I love you so much.

Love,

Your Mom

Playing With Snowmen

Even though I have quite a bit I could write about tonight, my neck and head are killing me and I want to go to bed. So, tonight I'm going to cheat and just post a picture of the baby.
I didn't take this picture, and when I saw it I laughed out loud. There's something in her expression that cracks me up.

The Tube

I have a calender up in my room and at the end of the day I write what I did that day. I'm actually not exactly sure why, because I hardly ever go back to check, unless I'm looking up a "Kameryn First" or something, but I do it anyway. I'm sad to admit that lately all I write is what Jay and I had for dinner, and then what we watched on TV afterward, be it TV or a movie.
It didn't take me long to notice the trend, but I also didn't really stop it, and now I have three weeks of little blocks that say things like, "Spaghetti, American Idol" or "Quizno's, the 40 Year Old Virgin."
I don't think I want to be on my deathbed looking back at my life being able to site who got kicked off of "America's Next Top Model" week by week.
Jay was talking about "Lent" the other day, brainstorming about what he would give up if it were a tradition he practiced, and I started thinking about it myself. The answer was really obvious, that I should give up watching TV, sitting and doing other things while listening to the TV, or worst of all, having the TV on when I'm in another room and constantly walking back in to see what I've missed on TV.
I'm not yet at a point where I want to say that I will go without TV for a said amount of time, but I'm getting more and more motivated to try and cut back. Mostly because when I think about it I think, "There's no way I could do it." And then I think about everything I could be doing in the time it takes to watch Deal or No Deal, and I'm disgusted that I've let myself get so addicted.
SO, Resolution # Whatever for the New Year, LESS TV! And more books and scrapbooking.

Today is Kameryn's 9 month birthday, and I will write her Love Letter tomorrow after her appointment. And mine. Wish us both luck!

A New Nickname

Jay, Kameryn and I went to Jay's parents house tonight to borrow their camera, and when we got there his brother, Rob, his wife Mackenzie and son Xander were there. Xander is almost three, completely adorable with brown hair and eyes and olive skin like his dad. He, like Kameryn, is very affectionate and gives hugs to everyone.
I'm impressed that he even knew who she was since Xander has only seen Kameryn twice since she was born, once in the hospital and once about 3 or 4 months after that. But when we walked in he got a huge grin on his face, looked at his mom and then pointed to the car seat, saying, "Look Mom! Cousin Kamera!"
Close enough. :)

Postsecret.com

My confession for the night is that it used to be a tradition for me to look at postsecret.com every Sunday, it was my Sunday morning ritual. Now I stay up late enough and check it Saturday nights, and then I feel a little bit guilty afterward for jumping the gun.

I'm completely in awe and also jealous of Frank for coming up with such a unique and unifying idea. Some of the secrets posted on his site are funny, and sometimes when I'm done reading them I feel unsettled and sad, but either way I always hate when I get to the last one. There's something so addicting about people stating the truth in such bold, unwavering ways. Even when the secret is sad or disturbing, it's nice to have it out there instead of hidden behind the masks we all wear every day.

I highly suggest going onto postsecret.com and watching the interviews with Frank that are available to download. I loved watching them. There's one moment in one of the videos when it shows Frank opening his mailbox and there are hundreds of postcards filling it to the brim, and I would love to sit and read them with him. What an amazing idea to give people a place to go with things they wouldn't otherwise tell anybody.

Going Under the Knife, or the 3 mm Punch, as the Case May Be

At work we do a lot of mole biopsies. It probably averages out to one a day, we're in the treatment room quite a bit cutting things off people. When I started working at my office I dreaded doing these procedures with the doctors because it's just the three of us in the room, doctor patient and me, and when they'd ask me to grab something for them I would get nervous if I didn't know what it was or where to find it.

I remedied this fear by telling both the other MAs that anytime there was a mole biopsy, removal, or cyst removal, I wanted to be the one to do it. Once I got the hang of it I realized I kinda like it, and can't really explain why. I still flinch when the patient gets the shot, and I don't like the blood, but there's still something about it that interests me.

Well, I've been watching these procedures, ALL of them during my shift, for at least 6 months now. In fact, when the doctors are walking down to the procedure room they let me know because they expect I'll be the one to help them.

Well, it didn't take long before I started looking at my own moles and wondering which of them look suspicious. And with how often the patient's moles come back as cancer, or pre-cancer, I've started to worry about it.
So I've made an appointment on Tuesday to have my most worry-some mole biopsied. I'm scared, but I've seen it so many times that I know exactly what to expect. I'm not going to die early of something as preventable as skin cancer. I'm saving my cause of death for "Dr. Pepper Overdose."

Telling the Truth: Proof to All I Watched my Sesame Street

My manager came up to me today asking if I had seen the Kenalog anywhere. I told her I didn't know anything about it, which was true. I had seen a bottle of it out on the counter a couple days ago, but it had been used so I threw it away.
My co-worker, who hadn't heard the previous conversation with my manager, came up to me afterward and she asked if I had seen the Kenalog since it was gone AGAIN, and I told her the same thing. I didn't know where it was. She said, mostly in passing, "You know it's a multi-dose vial, right?"
Well, um, no.
Just the look on my face gave her the answer and she said, "Well, you don't need to confess." aka "I won't tell on you, dork."
To rub it in, my manager returned holding the key to the cupboard where the Kenalog and such things are kept and said, "I'm gonna just keep it locked from now on, then. This is the second time in the last little bit that this has happened, and I'm starting to think the patients might be taking it. They sit in there for long enough sometimes, they easilly could go through the cupboards and take anything they wanted."
I was sitting there listening to her feeling like a kid who had stolen a candy bar. And you read it right, I've done this NOT ONCE, now, but twice.
"So if you guys need to get into the cupboard then come get the key from me, okay? I just don't know what else to do and this needs to stop happening."
My confession must've sounded SO dorky.
"(Manager's name,) I'm the one who's been taking it. I threw it away because I didn't know it was a multi-dose vial."
She just stared at me for a second, and then started laughing and hugged me. It was the best response I could've hoped for, but I still felt totally dumb.
"Oh good!" She says, "I really would rather that you just tell me that, then we know where it's going and you won't do it anymore." She looks at the key she's still holding and says, "Alright, I guess we won't have to do this after all!"
I still feel like a dork. Yep, Kjersti's clued in now, problem solved. She'll stop throwing away the perfectly good injections.
The good thing about the story is that I just told her the truth and didn't let her go on thinking the patients had taken it. I don't know any patient who would want to steal Kenalog, since the only thing I know about it is it's an anti-inflammatory injection, but I'm the first to admit patients have done weirder things.

So learn from my mistakes: If you see a bottle of Kenalog on the counter, PUT IT BACK IN THE CUPBOARD.

The end.

A Total Wimp

Having Kameryn has turned me into the biggest wimp. Honestly, a cry-at-commercials-and-during-talk shows kind of wimp.
There's some things I can't even tolerate anymore. I own the movie "Ransom" and I loved it, but I've tried to watch it since Kameryn and I had to turn it off.
I also got the movie "The Missing" for Christmas and I love it, I've watched it a couple times since then. In it, there's a part where the main character's daughter, Lily, who's been kidnapped gets herself free and is going to escape. She wakes up another of the captives to go with her, a young mom with a sick daughter. During the night the daughter died. The mom is in total denial of it and says, "No, that's just the way she sleeps." Lily hands her the gun so she can go get the horses (it's a western-type) but the mom walks a little way off and shoots herself. I remember watching it the first time and being totally disgusted by the mother character. But now I get it. And I almost can't blame her.
So this is turning into a depressing blog, and I don't mean it to. I just didn't expect that having a baby would make me so much more sensitive to everything. I get so much more joy out of simple things, but I also get more upset. And I get misty-eyed about almost everything.
I know I can't protect Kameryn from everything that will happen to her, and the magic she believes in will eventually wear away. I just don't ever want her to lose her love of life.
Above all, I want her to know that she has a mom that loves her. More than anything. I love sitting with her and enjoying simple moments. She makes me so happy, I'm so proud of her, and I can't wait for everything I'll get to show her as she grows older. I don't know exactly why, but since she was born I've been so excited to take her to Sea World. I haven't been myself, but I want to take Kameryn so we can see it together. That's how much of a dork I am.

A Thousand Words

There's probably a rule against doing what I'm doing tonight, which is using pictures on my blog which are currently on another family member's blog. Not only are they on Danae's blog, but Danae took all of these pictures. But they're so good, I almost can't help myself.

I think it's impossible to keep yourself from smiling when you see this last picture of Isaac. He is the most precious, beautiful boy. I can't believe how old he is already. His smiles melt me, I can't wait until he starts laughing.

Jay said that while he was watching Kameryn and Isaac today there was a point when they were staring at each other and cooing at each other. I wish I had seen it. Kameryn loves Baby Isaac so much, and he seems to be paying more attention to her, too.

I love these kids so much.

Choice

I've been thinking lately about how easilly small choices can make a big difference. Sometimes when I'm driving to work I even go so far as to wonder what difference it will make in my day if I hit a certain light red or green. That might be a little extreme, but I do see the chain reaction small choices make, like how if I get a late start to work and then hit all the lights red between here and the freeway, I'm more frustrated when I get to work. Then the entire day is different than if I were running late in the morning and I miraculously hit all the lights green.

I also think that small things in a person's life might be leading them to where they'll eventually end up, like when I thought I got the job here at the gas station in Bountiful so I quit my job in Salt Lake only to find I didn't have the job after all. At that point I made the decision to go to school to be an MA. But what if I had gotten the job at the gas station? I wonder where I would be now if that had been the case.

I can tell that my life right now is pretty mundane, pretty safe. I know what will happen tomorrow most of the time. But I wonder how my life now will effect my life 6 months from now. I want this year to be a year when things change, opportunities arise and big plans get set into motion, and I wonder what little choices will help get me from here to there.

More Baby Rants

Right now I'm listening to Jay read Kameryn her bedtime stories in the other room. It's the first time since she's been in her crib that he's put her to bed, mostly because he usually is in bed by the time she's going to sleep. Even on weekends. So it's a nice change for him to do it, but also a little hard for me to give up, as crazy as that sounds.

Kameryn is in a phase where she wants Jay or me around, and she always kisses us and hugs us. A couple times at my mom's house she would be across the room and then see Jay and crawl up to him as quickly as she could. I think it has to be one of the best feelings to have someone that we love so much show so sweetly that she loves us back.

Kameryn is pulling herself into standing position more and more, and Chelsee has started the "Let's learn how to walk!" stage. I really can't believe that her birthday is only a couple months away. Time is flying by.

I really love watching my family with her, and it was really fun to see how sweet Wesley was to her. She's so lucky to have so many people that love her so much.

Slacker

I just need one more day of weekend.

I have this bad habit of always playing Sundays away, usually with Gary and Danae. Today it was with my entire family for most of the day. We had breakfast this morning, went on a coffee run, sat and played some Mah Jong, made a Dr. Pepper run, sat and played some Golf and Mormon Bridge, went and ate dinner, and then went home and played more Golf. The best thing was that we were constantly laughing and always having a good time.

The only thing I regret about today is that I didn't clean one bit of my apartment. I didn't even do as much as taking a garbage out. A smart person would say I should just go do it now instead of blogging about how I didn't do it, but Kameryn is sleeping and Jay's still in bed, and I want to snuggle up with him before he has to go in the next hour or so.

I think the answer is I'll have to come home from work tomorrow and just start cleaning up, even if I am exhausted. It's totally WORTH IT!

Las Vegas

This weekend is shaping up to be my favorite in a long time. I love having family around, and to have my ENTIRE family around is so much fun for me. We went and got family pictures today and then went to eat at Tapanyaki, a place I had never been and really had no desire to go, but after tonight I would LOVE to go back. The atmosphere was so fun and the food was great, I really see the tragedy that the on in Bountiful burned down now. And after seeing the show, I'm not at all surprised.

Anyway, the subject of my family being together brings up the subject of moving to Las Vegas. If Danae and Gary were to go, and it sounds like they really want to, I think we might end up going, too. Jay REALLY wants to, and I would love to have a project with my family like the coffee shop we want to start. I don't think I'd be any help at all in getting the money it would take to start it up, but I would love to work there and get things going. It would be nice to get out of Utah, at least for awhile and experience other places. I'd still LOVE to make it up to Oregon or Washington, but Vegas would be fun to do for awhile.

I would love for 2007 to be a year of change and something that can get us going in the right direction. If an opportunity presents itself that has that potential, I don't think I could pass it up.

Snuggles and Zombies

For the first time since September, Jay and I spent a night without the baby. My mom was kind enough to watch her tonight, and Jay, Wesley, Chelsee and I went up to Ogden for my first ever viewing of a Sundance film. Prior to this, the closest I've ever been to the film festival was two years ago Jay and I drove up to Park City. I don't know what his motivations were for sure, but I wanted to star-search. We got up there and got to Main Street, and there were people EVERYWHERE. We got out of the car and walked down the street a little bit, but it was so crowded, we had no money, and it was freezing, so after about 10 minutes we went back to the car and drove home.
And in a way, that story explains Jay and I to a T. But back to tonight.

The movie was in the Egyptian Theatre in Ogden, and the theatre was pretty full when we got there, so we sat close to the front. The movie was called "Fido" and it was about characters in a '50's-ish neighborhood who all have zombies as help. As in mowing the lawn and gardening and the newspaper-boy. They all are wearing collars and when the red light is on that means the zombies urge to eat human flesh is suppresed. And then if the red light goes off, you're in trouble.
It was halarious.

The short movie before it was called "Goodbye Mr. Snuggles", and I won't bother to explain that one because the best part of it was the title.

So it was a good night and fun to spend some time with Wesley and Chelsee without worrying about the baby. Too bad we're averaging about 4 months in between at this point!

A Quick One

In some ways I can't believe I just got out of bed to blog.

In other ways I totally can.

I made the fatal mistake tonight. I wanted to talk to Jay about something, so I went and got into bed with him after we got home. Kameryn fell asleep on the car-ride home and let me transfer her to her crob without too much hassle. She was probably worn out tonight from all the dancing Danae helped her do, including Riverdancing. It was so funny to watch.

Well, the mistake was that I cuddled up with Jay. He put his arms around me, and we were both out.

Wesley got home today, and I don't think I've ever had more fun watching someone with Kameryn. She wouldn't go to him at first, or anywhere near him because he's got a goatee and she has a personal motto not to trust anyone with facial hair. But as the day went on he let her touch his hair, which made her laugh, and tonight she was crawling toward him and let him hold her for a bit.

You have to watch him watch her, though, because he lets her get away with a lot. She was reaching for some wrappers that his Gyro were on tonight, and Chelsee kept pulling them out of her reach, and Wesley kept leaning in more so that she could still reach them. So finally Chelsee let her get them, and Wesley said, "Kid, WHAT ARE YOU DOING?!" while he tried to get them away from her. I think it was so classic. Hopefully it's funny and not a "you had to be there" story.

Anyway, I have kept my resolution and now I'm going back to bed.

A Sock Full of Beans

It's cold in Utah. Too cold. Aside from it being inconvienent when we're outside or after we're in the car but before the heat gets going, we have the small problem that OUR PILOT LIGHT KEEPS BLOWING OUT. So when the vents come on, you guessed it, they're blowing out COLD AIR. We've told our landlord who's sent someone to fix it, but it still goes out. Jay is constantly re-lighting it, but it seems to go out instantly. A bit of a problem in the winter when it's THIS DAMN COLD.
Last night after Jay left for work I couldn't get warm again, and finally I got our homemade hotpad (made out of a soccer sock and some beans which we warm up in the microwave---no laughing, Jay made it on the spot when I was pregnant and going into labor, and it works really well.) I threw it in the microwave and when it was warm enough, brought it into bed to keep my feet warm. Yes, in the absense of a husband, a sock full of beans will suffice. I was also worried about Kameryn and in my half-sleeping but still freezing state of mind I was trying to figure out which of her toys I could microwave and put in her crib with her to keep her warm.
So Wes and Allison, be warned. Frigid cold.

Off of that tangent, I have to say HAPPY BIRTHDAY DANAE! I love you and I'm glad I got to spend some time with you today - I had a lot of fun.

Wesley didn't quite make it to our frigid state since his plane was canceled, but hopefully we'll see you tomorrow. I can't wait, I'm really excited!

Kameryn is still sick, but tonight I read her 4 bedtime stories, turned on her mobile and turned off her light, and she didn't make a peep. That is seriously heaven. With any luck she'll sleep better tonight than last night, and we can get rid of this damn cold. She doesn't look like herself when she's sick and I hate it that she's feeling so miserable.

And I'm back off to work tomorrow, which I'm not looking forward to, but it will give me a chance to keep my New Years Resolutions and stand up to my coworker if that needs to happen. Plus it's only one doctor which makes things a little less hectic. I just can't wait to have Friday come and go so my family will be here and I will have money to spend. That's gonna be a good feeling.

A Day in the Life...

So, as for my meeting this afternoon, I was surprised to find that my office manager didn't expect me to lead the meeting. IN fact, she didn't really expect me to talk at all, and didn't really leave me OR my coworker a chance to say too much. The meeting was less about "What Kjersti Needs to Say" and more "This is how things are going to run from now on." I was a little disappointed, but at the same time it's motivated me to stay on top of it and tell my coworker what's on my mind as things happen. That will be a good lesson for me to learn anyway because I usually just bottle whatever it is I'm feeling, fuming about it, playing it over and over in my mind until I get upset about some tiny thing that doesn't deserve all the anger. If that's a habit I can break I will consider my resolution a huge success because not only is it a stupid habit to have, it takes way too much energy when the other option is simply sticking up for myself right as it happens.

So, in the meeting my coworker was told specifically what my job entails. And part of that was "Her job is to NOT do your job, just hers, and then she can ask you if you need help if she has nothing else to do." So we'll see if she listens. I'm betting on no, and then if she does I'll be really pleasantly surprised.

In other news, Kameryn is still sick. She's not coughing very often, she's just sneezing a lot and has a runny nose. So when the family gets together tomorrow night, everyone keep in mind that if Kameryn sneezes on you it's just her way of saying "I love you." And if she sneezes on you and then saturates your cheek in drool and snot, that means she REALLY loves you!

I took an X-ray (provided by Gary) to my doctor today and had him look it over. He said that my bones were smooth and he didn't see any bone spurs, but there was a thickening of white in-between my bones which may be early arthritis. He reminded me that "He doesn't do hips very often" and said we should send it to a radiologist for overread, but I've actually been feeling a lot better so I'm not too worried about it. He did say it would be smart to exercise it and lose some weight, which sounds like an awesome plan to me. I just wish it weren't so damn cold! Not everyone is as tough as Mom and can go out running in the cold and dark, and I'll be the first to say, I'm one of the non-tough ones.

And I'm happy to announce that I finished my second book of the year last night and started my third. My second book, "Burnt Toast" by Teri Hatcher was really entertaining and an easy read. It had a lot of really good ideas in it, but through-out I got a little jealous as she talked about all the places she's been, like swimming with a whale and a safari with her daughter in Africa. I would love to travel as much as she has, and I really hope I get to do a lot more.

And I think that's it for tonight. Danae, Happy Birthday tomorrow. Wes, I can't wait to see you tomorrow! Allie, I can't wait to see you and Steve this weekend! I love it when my family all gets together!

Speaking Out

Probably the most common new years resolution is to work out, get in shape, eat right and other things that involve becoming more healthy. I think I want to go along with this, but in my own way. I know I've already said it, but one of my New Years Resolutions this year is to make it a lifelong habit of sticking up for myself and not letting people use me and my good intentions for their own benefit.
I told the story about working for my coworker last Thursday even though I was sick, and then I took Friday off. When I got to work today all of the scanning from today AND Friday was sitting neatly on my desk, waiting to be scanned. So I went to my office manager tonight and said that I want to have a meeting with her and my coworker, and it's on for 1:00 tomorrow. The problem is since I initiated it I will probably get to lead the conversation, and I don't really know what to say. I'm trying not to overthink it because I don't want to worry about what will hurt her feelings and what won't because above everything else, I want to be honest.
I want to be happy. I think it's impossible to be happy if I keep muting myself because I'm afraid of what other people will think.

Getting so Big, Despite Being Sick

I spoke too soon last night. At about 2 in the morning Kameryn woke up just screaming, so I went and got her and brought her into bed with me. Her room has been so cold lately and I couldn't stand to leave her in there while she's sick. Having her with me made me remember how much I used to love it, cuddling with my sweet little girl. It also made me remember how happy I am that she sleeps in her own crib now.

More noteworthy, though, is when I went and got her out of her crib last night she was standing up, peering over the side at me. I wish the circumstance had been different because I didn't really praise her, I just took her out and brought her into my room. But who knows, maybe that's better than praise.

Tonight I'm hoping that my luck with hold out since Kameryn has fallen asleep and let me put her in her crib. I have about 10 pages left in my second book of this year, and I'd really like to finish it and then get to sleep. So I guess we'll see.

My Sweetest Girl

Kameryn is getting sick. I think I gave her what I had. It must be early stages of it because she seemed really happy through the majority of the day, but even this morning we could tell that something was wrong. She wanted me and only me, and she wanted me to hold her.
Jay's main goal for this morning was to watch the Seahawks and the Bears, rooting for the Seahawks as anyone who's seen his beanie would know. He got the beanie for Christmas and wears it constantly. And more importantly, proudly. Even today after they lost 24-27 in overtime. But we won't go there.
During the game Kameryn cuddled with me and fell asleep twice while I was holding her. This is unusual for her because she is very affectionate, hugging and giving kisses, but she also has cat-like curiosity about everything and when she's not being held she likes to play with and explore her toys. She hasn't fallen asleep in my arms for a long time because she's mobile now and that means there are PLACES TO GO and new things to bend and suck on.
It made it kinda funny watching the game and having to cheer and throw things quietly at the screen so we wouldn't wake her up.

Tonight, though, she did it again, falling asleep while I was holding her, and when she woke up I noticed she's started to cough. It's not as bad as mine yet but I can tell it's in the early stages when it's the tickle in your throat that coughing doesn't really alleviate, but it's coming.

I hate her being sick, and my mothering instinct is in FULL gear. I don't want to go to work tomorrow because I want to be with her. I know I can't make it go away or even make it go any faster, but if being close to her makes it a little easier for her to handle then I don't want to leave her. Not for anything.

She did me a favor tonight because I didn't know how I would have the heart to put her to bed if she started to cry when I left the room. So I stayed up with her, watching a movie, stroking her hair while she laid her head on my chest. And she fell asleep. Enough that I was able to put her in her crib, cover her in blankets and leave.
Tonight is the first night in a long time I can honestly say I wasn't ready for her to go to bed. I think it may be the first time I can say that since she was born.

I like the relationship her and I are developing. I like to be around her because she's so fun and easy to love. And even though I hate her being sick, I love how cuddly she is and how she'll snuggle in closer to me while I stroke her hair or rub her back. If I had it my way I really wouldn't ever have to leave her.