Fun at Grandma's House

Kameryn got a huge kick out of the fact that you could hit ANYWHERE and it would still make noise.

The best part of this was that Kameryn would try to dial the phone and then babble like she was talking, but her tone would go from serious to really high, as if the person on the other end was telling her something REALLY exciting. Then she threw her head back and started laughing. With any luck she won't inherit my "insessant talking on the phone while growing up" gene, but I guess we'll have to wait and see.

Happy 26, Gary!

To Gary, the former King of Coldstone who would give me and my friends ice cream when we'd ditch school and come visit you: HAPPY BIRTHDAY! It was fun conspiring with you while you were on your mission to get Danae's ring size, and I'm glad you guys are together because you're a good husband, always patient and fun, and you're a great Dad. It meant a lot to me that you got work off to come to Kami's birthday barbeque, thank you for that. You've always been someone I can count on. Call us when you decide to break out the Mah Jong!

Influential Influences

It's interesting when I think of all the ways that Jay and I have affected each other's lives. There's obviously the big things, like we have a kid together for example, but then there's also other more subtle changes we've made that we may not have if we hadn't met.

For example, before Jay met me he was convinced that he HATED Chinese food. I would suggest it for dinner and he would flat out refuse. But I kept pushing until he tried it, because honestly, how can you not like an entire GENRE of food?! Come on, there's got to be SOMETHING tolerable. (Pay close attention, Chelsee. You like rice, you like cheese, so chances are there is SOME Mexican food you like.) Now, Jay is an addict. Any time he goes to lunch by himself, he goes to Panda Express. Often even if he's had it for lunch and we're going to dinner, he will suggest Panda. My mom got him a gift card to Panda for Christmas last year, and I think he had it spend by, say, Jan. 1.
Jay also hadn't discovered his love for Pink Floyd until he met me, and now he can sing along with Roger Waters with the best of them.

Jay has influenced me in a lot of ways, one of which is him helping me with my sense of direction. I'm not proud of it, but I'm directionally challenged. A lot of times after walking into a building I've never been in before, I don't know how to find my way back out. Jay, on the other hand, is the type that if he goes somewhere once, chances are he can get back. Even if it's miles away and three years later. So, after lots of patience and a lot of laughing at my expense, I can at least say I'm a LITTLE bit better at directions. Which basically translates to I've gone from the sense of a first grader to a third. And sometimes I know which way is North.
Also, I've grown an appreciation for The Smashing Pumpkins which I don't think I would have otherwise. Thanks to Jay they've completely grown on me. Even "Bullet with Butterfly Wings."

One thing that I haven't been sold on yet is camping. His parents think I'm crazy because I don't get immediate thrill out of the thought of setting up a tent and building a fire. I can't believe anyone would look forward to sleeping on the ground and peeing in a hole. Give me a hotel or a motel ANYWHERE and I'll be more content than spending the night on the cold ground.

That said, we currently have plans to go CAMPING the first week of June. We're going to South Dakota, which is the part that makes it tolerable for me, but in the back of my mind I'm also dreading the point in time where Kameryn realizes, No, there is no crib. But that sleeping bag?! It's all yours.

I'll be very interested to see if during my marriage I warm to the idea of camping, or if it turns into something that we just can't compromise on.

No Laughing Matter

I was working late tonight, walking past a room where a patient was waiting to be seen for a cough. As I passed he started coughing, the dry, horrible cough that doesn't produce anything but won't go away, and it reminded me of a time I went to the doctor when I was little. I had gone in for a cough, and it must've been pretty bad because my family isn't the "run into the doctor after the first sniffle" type, we wait a week. Or two.

So I had gone into the doctor, and he asked me to cough for him, and I did, which of course lead to a bout of coughing that I couldn't help and couldn't stop. And afterward he looked at me and said, "Wow, that's quite a cough. You don't smoke, do you?"

I must've been 7 or so, maybe younger, but I fired back a "NO!" that really said, "HOW DARE YOU?! SMOKING IS NO LAUGHING MATTER!" And I remember thinking about it later, and hearing my mom laugh when he asked it, and I realized it was a joke, but I decided not to be embarassed because I had told him very stongly how I felt about it. Plus, I'd always had a sneaking suspicion that he asked in a joking manner, but was really being serious.

It wasn't until today when I was reminded of the whole situation that I realized how rediculous that thought was.

I don't know what it is, but sometimes jokes doctors tell just get lost on me. Jay and I took Kami in for her two week check-up, and her stats were all good except her head was a little bit small. The doctor commented on it, and Jay asked, "Well, what happens if it stays small?" To which the doctor replied, without skipping a beat, "We'll have to do head-expansion therapy." I'm sure he was expecting a laugh, but instead me and Jay sat there silent, imagining it until Jay said, "Will it hurt?" He walke out of the room and just said to himself, "Don't joke with first time parents."

Working Girl

On Monday I started working full time, with my current shift being from 11-7, and so far it's been pretty miserable, mostly because over the weekend I've developed a cold, cough and runny nose. It's pretty sad because my doctor is sick as well, even though he hides it better than I do, so patients coming in get to be taken back by an MA who's obviously sick since the corners of her nose are red from all the wiping, and then get to be treated by a doctor who's voice is just a little lower than usual.

If I were the kind of person who believed that I've MADE myself sick to teach myself something (which I'm not, I pretty much figure I work in a doctor's office and we catch things sometimes) I would say that I'm sick because what I REALLY want is to be home with Kami. She's so fun, she's getting so verbal and she's practicing walking more every day. Honestly, while I'm at work I can't wait to go home because when I walk in the door she comes and gives me the biggest, longest hug. Then she pulls back, looks at me, laughs and hugs me again. I don't think there's anything better in the world.

But hopefully the bigger paycheck might make things a little nicer.

Incredible Women

She's the best mom, and also an amazing Grandma.

I think my life is full of incredible women, people I really admire and look up to. Aside from just being proud to have you in my life, I'm grateful that you're around to be in Kami's life and that you care so much about her. I think it's impossible to fail with so many strong examples to follow.

Obviously this picture isn't of incredible women, but I couldn't resist. Isaac is the cutest baby boy ever, and Danae is such a good mom to him. Happy first Mother's Day, Danae!

In No Hurry

One funny thing about me is that I'm in no rush to buy a house. I know all the perks, like getting equity and not throwing your money away by stuffing it into a landlord's pockets. Even knowing that, it's not a current strong desire for me, I'm happy to wait.

I think the reason is that I can only take so much permanence at a time. Getting married took some getting used to, and having a baby has taken away any more desire I have to completely define myself. I'd rather keep that aspect of my life open for now, not deciding on where I want to permanently be.

However, the one thing that makes me re-think it all is my upstairs neighbors. We received a nasty note one morning about how they have to listen to Jay's alarm go off at night, sometimes for minutes at a time, and they didn't say anything to us about it for over a year because they didn't want to cause problems, but if it happens again where they have to listen to it longer than they deem necessary, they won't hesitate to call the police.

I hate to admit how much the letter got to me, but it did. I'm constantly thinking now about how loud we're being, and if I'm in Kami's room when Jay's alarm goes off, I wait in agony until he turns it off. They were trying to bully me, and I took it, and still do.

The hardest part of all of it is when Kami cries in the middle of the night. Her doctor said I should let her be so she'll learn to sleep in bed by herself, but when it happens I bring her into bed with me to keep her quiet. The worst was when she was teething. She would cry and there wasn't anything I could do to stop it, and the whole time I would imagine what was going on upstairs.

That part of it would make getting a house a huge improvment, and until then, I need to figure out how to handle the upstairs neighbors.

HAPPY 7 MONTHS, BUDDY!

Isaac is the greatest baby boy ever! He's got such a sweet personality, giving huge smiles, especially lately. Then a lot of time he's really calm and patient, especially with Kameryn who likes to climb on him, put things on his head and saturate him with slimy kisses. I can't believe you're already 7 months old, buddy, but I'm glad to have you around. You make me so happy!

Red Flags

If any of you are worried about it, I just want to let you know that my secret still hasn't been published on Postsecret.com, so you can rest assured that the secret about being afraid the Second Coming would happen before they could read the last Harry Potter book isn't mine.

However, everyone besides Allison should be worried about me for another reason: I went into work on Friday and saw that we had gotten a new shot in, TwinRix which is both Hep A and Hep B, and my first thought was, "HEY, I WANT THAT!" So I went and put myself on the schedule so that I could get the shot, and worst of all, I was making a list in my head of all the other shots I wanted. I used to think Allison was totally nuts, but look at me now.

First Steps

Kami took her first steps today on two different occasions. I know I should be really excited, and I am, but I also feel bad because Jay didn't see them either time. They were completely unprovoked. We've been trying to coax them out of her in the typical way, trying to get her to walk back and forth between us, but she refused. Then this afternoon she was holding her toys and I think she figured it would be easier to walk with them than get down and crawl. So she took a couple steps before she fell.
It was the same story later on tonight, except Jay had already gone in to bed. Same situation: Her hands were full with Quackers and her Glow worm and it just seemed an easier way to get around.
Seeing such a huge advancement being done in such a casual way makes me realize how fast she's growing up. I'm so grateful to have her around and to have such a healthy, happy baby.
Now all I want is for her to walk tomorrow while her dad can watch.

A Slow Start

I made the goal for myself to get back into the habit of writing, and I wanted to start writing every day again in May. That lasted for the first day. But I'll start slowly if I have to because it's a habit I like to embrace, writing something at the end of every day.

Things at work have changed a little bit. Aside from Allison leaving, which TOTALLY sucks, one of my doctors also left to go work in another clinic, and so I've been working for one doctor with extended hours. I normally work from noon until close, which was at 5, but they've extended my shift until 7. I don't mind it, we've been so busy that it goes by really quickly. The only hard part is coming home and Jay needing to go straight to bed.

Kami had her one year appointment yesterday. She's 22 lbs and 30.5 inches. Not too surprisingly, she's in the 90th percentile for height. I decided to give her the 4 shots myself, even though I was dreading it. It's hard, as a mom, not to stand back and critique the other MAs while they're giving shots, and I don't like how they do it as much. Kami was tough and seemed to forgive me quickly. She cried, mostly because we were holding her down, and when I was finished and I picked her up she stopped.

So there's a May update for everyone, and I pronise to be better about writing, mostly for myself.

Love Letter, Month 12

HAPPY BIRTHDAY, KAMI!!! I can't believe my sweetest girl is a year old. When I sit and rock you to sleep at night in the rocker in your room, it's so easy to remember the first few days after we brought you home from the hospital. Some of my clearest memories are cuddling up to you when both of us started to fall asleep. I don't think there's anything sweeter than cuddling up with your baby to fall asleep. I also remember sitting in that room, watching the clock anxiously to make sure you breastfed for 15 minutes on each side. I know that's probably not the funnest thing to muse about, but it's funny what having a baby will do to you. When you're pregnant you get to worry about your backache and making it to the bathroom every 15 minutes. Then your baby is born and you're faced with making sure she's warm/cool enough and has enough to eat and her diaper is clean and getting shots every couple months.

And I think maybe I've presented it making it sound like a hassle, but I don't think of it that way at all. Having you in my life has been so rewarding from the very beginning, from that first ultrasound. When you were first born you were so amazing to me, and my little love. As you grow older you just add to that, and now at a year old you're so fun to be with and completely entertaining. And you still keep me on my toes and are constantly teaching me new things, and I love that. Sometimes not while it's happening, but always in retrospect.Some months go by and you happilly spend them perfecting what you've already learned. This last month wasn't one of those. You seemed to keep learning new things and the long awaited tooth FINALLY arrived. It gave us a lot of trouble and we didn't get a lot of sleep some nights, but now it's there, white and crooked and alone for now, and it might be the cutest thing ever.

You also learned to stand up, which I think you may have taught yourself because you wanted the attention. Unlike a lot of babies, you didn't teach yourself to stand up on the furniture and then let go. Your expectations were higher than that. You would go into the middle of the room, put your feet and hand on the floor, and then push up on your thighs until you were standing. At first you would grunt from the effort of it all as you righted yourself, but you've praticed so much now that you've even added to it: You'll stand up and dance, or bend down to pick up your toys and then stand up again. Even now I'm really impressed by it, and I know that your first step isn't too far off.

Allie was in town this month, and at first you weren't quite sure what to make of her. You would let her hold you for a minute or two, and then you wanted us to take you back. However, we know your weakness: You LOVE hair. It's a fascination of yours I don't quite understand and don't know what to credit to, but it's almost fool-proof, and when we wanted you to give Allie a second chance, all we had to do was show you her long, luxiourious hair, and you were won over. Sometimes you were so overcome you wanted to lick her hair, and yes, sometimes you did before we could stop you. By the end of the month there were times that you wanted Allie to hold you, and even if I came over to take you back, you wouldn't come to me.

This past month you've gotten really good at trying different foods, and you seem to like most of what you try. We've given you rice, eggs, a bagel, fruit, chocolate, chips, pickles, fries, noodles, and most recently ice cream and cake. You happilly gum what we give you and leave a trail of food behind you, so I'm not sure how much you actually eat, but it amazes me that you're old enough now that when we go out, we usually order something small for you.

Lately you've become a master at imitation. You laugh when we laugh, throwing your head back, and you'll copy words we say to you, including "Mama," "Dada" and most recently "BA!" while pointing to your belly button. This, of course, means that we'll have to be a lot more careful in talking around you, but it also has been positive, like the other morning when you watched your dad and me brushing our teeth and you decided you needed to do it, too.

As for your birthday, we celebrated twice. We had a barbeque on Friday night with your family, and then we went out on Sunday to do some things we thought that you'd enjoy. Both were a lot of fun and deserve their own posts, but I have to say that your party turned out really well, and a lot of your family came, including Aunt Nolana and Uncle Alan and your cousins, your Grandpa up from Provo and your Great Grandma Hanna. I was touched by how many people came because they love you. You're so lucky to have so many people aroun you who support you, and I hope that's something that you don't forget as you grow up. We had a lot of fun, took a ton of pictures and we found out how much you like chocolate cake.

For your actual birthday on Sunday we went to breakfast and then we tried to take you to Tracy Avairy. You liked the zoo so much that we thought you would like the birds, but we were wrong. All you wanted to do was walk around on the grass with help from me or your dad or Aunt Chelsee. Anytime we tried to show you the birds you would glance over, take it in, and then get back to walking around, which was much more important.

After we walked around Tracy Avairy we decided to go get some birthday ice cream, and since it was your birthday we let you try to eat it yourself, no holds barred. It turned into a classic example of how you can take something ordinary and make it into something really fun. First, you decided that three spoons were better than one, followed by deciding that the more there was on the table, the better.

By the end you, the table, the floor and my shirt were all covered in ice cream, which you loved. You would break into a huge smile, and then throw your head back and laugh, which made all of us do the same. I think you probably ate one spoonful of ice cream, but it was completely worth it.

I know I always end these posts telling you how much I love you, but tonight I left it up to my good friend, Dooce (because I'm SURE we could be good friends if she would ever write me back!), because she eloquently writes the thoughts I have but stumble over in trying to verbalize them. She wrote this to her daughter, Leta:

Leta, I feel like I have been given a second chance at life, a life through the magic of your eyes, a life that I am finally able to appreciate fully since I got the help I needed for my disease. The world has more color in it because you are looking at it, music is a bit louder because you are hearing it. I never knew how funny a noise could be until you laughed at it, or just how excruciatingly handsome your father was until I saw your profile next to his. I thought that there was meaning in my life before you came along, but Hell if I even knew the meaning of meaning. For the majority of my life I thought I had religion, but never has there been a more reverent moment in my life than walking into your room late at night to watch you breathe, to hear your life in the air. If there is a God, you’d certainly be proof that he or she exists.

And that sums it up pretty well. I love you baby girl.

What a Difference a Year Makes:

ONE YEAR LATER:

Monday Night Fun

Chelsee has already shown off the good time we had taking pictures of Allie in her wedding dress yesterday. I was going to make a post of my own showing off the pictures I had taken, but apparently my computer just can't hack it. I moved three into my picture file, and then my computer let me know I didn't have ANY more disk space. NONE. Not only that, but it wasn't playing anymore. I tried to go into a picture and rotate it, and it didn't budge. The laptop has put it's foot down.
As for the pictures I got before the technological temper tantrum, they're some of my favorites:The last picture I got was of Kami, but I can't lie and say I took the picture. It was another one of Chelsee's brilliant moments behind the camera: We were helping Kameryn drink out of the drinking fountain, which she was having a lot of fun with, and she looked back at her dad long enough for Chelsee to snap this shot:

As Promised:

Here's a quick view of my sweetest girl's latest triumph:
Pulling herself to standing, holding onto Quackers for dear life and toes curled...

Standing, still holding her best friend securely, but still a little wobbly...

And then, like a master, she straightens herself out, gets her balance and gets a smile on her face that would melt your heart clean out of your chest! And all with duck intact! What a big girl!

Friday Night Love Fest

I'm not usually a big fan of Friday nights. Lately when I get home from work Jay just needs to sleep, and it's hard to spend Friday nights without him and still have fun. Tonight was that kind of night, when I got home Jay made dinner, but then went to bed shortly afterwards and it was just me and Kami.

We watched "The Pursuit of Happyness," and I really loved it. The best part to some people might be how the main character achieves his goal, but for me the fun of it was watching the Dad and son. I felt really in touch with their relationship and with the dad's protectiveness. I identified with how he was always trying to keep his son safe and distract him from the obvious problems while he tried to make their lives better.

All in all, I don't think there's anything better than watching parents with their kids. I remember back when I was in 5th or 6th grade, me and some friends of mine had walked up to Oak Hills Elementary to play. When we got there we found a mom with her son, and they were playing baseball. I remember feeling a huge amount of jealousy and an aching in my stomach, missing something I didn't have. I remember thinking that I wanted to be that kind of Mom.

I've found that my realtionship with Kameryn is something that is really powerful. So much, in fact, that I really try not to let myself live through her. It's hard, though, because I'm so proud of almost everything she does and I love her spirit. I try not to live THROUGH her, but I think that she has taught me a lot about how I want to live. I also try not to let her define me, I don't want to get caught in the trap of JUST being Kameryn's mom. But in a way she has defined me in a way I can't really change, and wouldn't want to. I love being her mom and I would do anything for her.

One of the best and scariest parts of being with Kameryn is when she's sick or hurting and all she wants is for me to hold her. I love that I can GIVE that feeling that I get from my mom, healing her a bit by just being there. It's also a time that I feel helpless, I hate when Kameryn is hurt or sick and I would take it away from her in a second if I knew I could.

One thing I want for us is I don't ever want to take Kameryn for granted, or think of her as a burden. Sometimes, I will admit, that is easier said than done, but when it comes down to it, I wouldn't want to be without her.

And nights like tonight end up being perfect because she's around. When she's drinking her bottle with her head in my lap and I can sit and stroke her hair, I'm glad that we can sit and keep each other company on Friday nights.

Any Advice?

As Kameryn has been teething, she's been sleeping less and less. We had a really good schedule going for awhile, but it has completely dissolved. Last night she would fight off sleeping until she finally gave in - at 2 in the morning! Does anyone have any advice for me? Is it just a rough patch and I should be patient with it, or should I train her to sleep in her crib all over again? ANY advice would be appreciated, even if it's just ideas from my friends who don't have kids. We can't keep staying up like this.

A Glorious Return To Blogging

I know I've been completely slacking on blogging lately. There are two main reasons. The first is that Kameryn is teething. She got her first tooth on Friday, just a little white sliver sticking up out of her gums on the bottom left. It, understandably, has been causing her a lot of pain and even before we realized that the problem was teething she was grumpy and irritable. That's the first reason. The second reason is that her grumpiness is keeping her up at night, which is when I usually blog, and by the time she's sleeping I don't want to keep my eyes open one more second or try and work on coherant sentences. It makes me a little bit sad that Kameryn has been so grumpy lately because instead of smiling all the time, she gets really whiny and it's hard to take in large doses. I think I'll be happy when it's over.

On the other hand, Kameryn is practicing standing up more and more, and now she stands up and will dance. It's more like bending her knees and boucing, but it's really fun to watch and she gets really proud of herself. I predict we have a month at most before she's walking everywhere and getting into everything.

As for me, I still haven't gotten published on Postsecret.com, but I have been thinking more about writing a poem for "National Poetry Writing Month." I'll have to sit and try to write it out before I post it, so I'll have to publish it in all it's majesty later this month.

Planning Ahead, Chelsee Style

Jay and I were talking about it last night, and I'm wiritng about it to get a general idea of what people think: We were thinking about having Kameryn's birthday party at Muller Park and barbaquing some hamburgers. The idea came up because we know Jay's parents would really like to be at her party, but we couldn't invite them to Mom's because Mary Jane is allergic to the cats.
Also, instead of her actual birthday, we're wondering if it would work on Friday, April 27 because Allison is going home early and leaving the next morning. Would you guys want to do it after work? Please respond one way or another.

Updates and Triumphs

Sadly, neither Jay nor I got posted on Postsecret this week. Instead of making me sad, it makes me think of a bunch of other secrets I could send in. It seems a little like the lottery, the more times you enter, the better your chances are. I think a lot of my secrets would be dorky confessions, though, not the deep dark ones, which admittedly aren't as fun. It would be fun to make it into a book, though.

Kameryn still hasn't had her tooth come through, but she did achieve another "first" tonight. She was on the floor in the living room where we were eating dinner and watching the new show "Thank God You're Here," and she would get on her feet with her hands on the floor. Slowly she would pull her upper body until she was standing upright, shaking from the awkwardness of it, and proud as she could be of herself. Then she would fall on her bum, and start the whole thing again. She did it until she was too tired to do it anymore. We were both so proud of her! She'll be walking around in no time, which is a funny thought. She's still so little, I can't believe that soon she'll be walking on her own.

And yes, knowing that she'll turn one in 3 weeks does make me want to cry!!!

Anyway, our camera refuses to take anymore pictures until we change he batteries, so I will get pictures of her standing by herself as soon as I can.

An Easter Cheating Blog

This picture is of Kami and Chelsee, and Chelsee's hot new hair!

Not only is Mr. Quackers a good friend that makes good company, he also can double as a pillow when your mom is washing the dishes and you can't keep your eyes open one more second.

At long last, I have finally captured the "mad look." Kameryn has been doing this one more and more often, but it hasn't been photographed until now. Even in this picture, this seems to be the tail end of her "look." Normally her nose would be a bit more crinkled.

Kameryn's first Easter and today we discovered how close she is to getting a tooth of her own! It's right below the surface and I think it will make an appearance soon.

Up Late, Tired, and Blogging about What's On My Mind

I used to love staying up at night writing stories. My favorite thing was writing until I couldn't keep my eyes open, and then after sleeping through the night I would wake up and read what I wrote, and sometimes I was surprised by how little I would remember. I don't remember how old I was, but I remember I would write love stories and I would fall completely in love with the "boyfriend." I would go to school and miss him and want to come home to be with this guy who was completely fictional.

I really wish I could find that kind of passion again for writing, maybe without the crazy "In love with the fictious guy" undertones.

With that I think the problem is being willing to take the risk of someone reading what I write and not liking it, and for that matter, writing something to go back myself and not like it.

I heard that April is the "National Poetry Month." I think my goal for this month may be writing something new and posting it. Maybe I can tap into the inner poet I used to be so in touch with. Anyone want to join me?

Dr. Allison

If I can just brag for a second, I have to say that having Allison at work with me the past couple days has been so fun! It's nice to have her sit and talk to me, but I also love seeing her with the doctors and going into the patient's rooms. I haven't ever heard her talk with a patient closely enough that I could actually hear what is being said, but I can tell from the tones in the room that after a few short minutes in the room with any patient, Allison has got them comfortable enough to tell her what she needs to know. Her bedside manner is incredible, and most patients walk out of the room wishing her the best and happy that they've mey her. I knew she would be a good doctor before, but let me tell you, you should see her in action.

Love Letter, Month 11

I'm paranoid enough that I took the day off work when Kameryn got her 2, 4 and 6 month shots. I was so worried that something would happen to her when she was too little to fight it off. Getting to be 11 months old with only some minor colds to overcome has been so relieveing for me, and now instead of SIDS I've moved on to be nervous about her walking and falling and cracking her head open! It hasn't happened yet, but if she's anything like I was growing up I'm sure there will be stitches in our future.This month Kameryn has been practicing walking along the furniture, talking and eating. She's getting so good at walking along the furniture she'll walk all the way around the coffee table, most of the time to get to something we've tried to push out of her reach. Sometimes she'll even stand on her own, but most of the time she does it until she realizes that she doesn't have her hand on anything, and she'll reach out as soon as it dawns on her. It won't be long until she's walking around the house, though, and we're not in any hurry for it to start happening.The other night I was giving Kameryn a bath, and she was playing with her toys and having fun, but she stood up. I said, "Kameryn, are you ready to get out?" And she said, "Yeah." I said, "Okay, but you have to sit down." And so she sat back down in the tub. It was the weirdest and most amazing thing to realize that her and I had just had, albeit small, a conversation where she could voice what she wanted. I get so excited for all the things she'll say when she finally can let us know what she's thinking, and until then I love any small progresses we make. She "talks" non-stop sometimes, especially when she's playing with her toys. Also, the other day we were in the car, and she was talking to herself, and after awhile she would laugh and clap her hands, like she was telling herself jokes. Then she would do it again, start talking, laugh, and clap her hands. I love that she has a sense of humor, and she really does, she loves to laugh.Kameryn still doesn't love baby food. Sometimes she'll indulge us and have some, but she gets bored with it pretty quicky. However, she LOVES to eat "real food." She loves bread and crackers, and she loves fruit. I can't actually tell you how much of it she eats, because a lot of times she'll suck and gnaw on whatever it is we've given her until it's soggy and then she'll drop it or spit it out, but it makes her so happy. Lately we've been giving her pieces of cantalope and honey dew, two fruits I can't stand, and she loves them. We give her big enough pieces that she can't choke, but what she likes to do with them is stick the whole thing in her mouth and hold whatever is sticking out with her finger. She also recently tried ice cream, which she loved. She would suck a little bit into her mouth and then give a huge smile, almost like she couldn't believe something this tasty existed. Kameryn is really smart, and she's constantly learning new things that we like to show off. This is her showing Grandma where her nose is, and a bunch of us were in the room and she indulged us by going around the circle of people and showing each of us where our noses were. She also loves to have books read to her and loves when we count things for her. I was counting ice cream cones on the front of a card with her, and even after I was done she would take my finger and move them over each cone to get me to keep counting them.Kameryn is still my little lover. She loves to be with her family, and anytime she sees her cousin Isaac and can get close enough she always wants to kiss him or snuggle up with him. She seems to be slowing down on the big, sloppy kisses she gives, and instead she likes to hug or put her head next to yours.

I love to take Kameryn to see new things because she really likes it, but then when something happens that she's never seen before she gets really quiet and thinks about it, almost like she's trying to figure it out. She's like that with a lot of different things. She's not the type to just accept that she's too little to understand. This picture is one I love because it's the look she gets on her face when she's being the little scientist.
That's something I really love about her. I love her spirit and her sweetness. I love how happy she makes me, and I love how easilly she seems to make other people happy. She really inspires me with her stregnth and determination, but also how she is getting so big and learning so much and she seems to love it and do it with such grace. I still rush home from work so I can see her and play with her.
Kami, I would do anything for you. With everything I have I love you and want to make you happy and keep you safe. Your Dad and I both love you so much, and I hope you know that we wouldn't change anything about our lives, even our struggles, if it meant we couldn't have you.

Proof That Allison is in Town

DISCLAIMER: Allison does not support or condone under-age drinking, and wasn't giveing Kameryn the wine so she could taste any. She said that she merely wanted to point Kameryn in the right direction so that when she was old enough to leagally purchase wine and it would no longer stunt her growth she could enjoy a glass of wine that was above average. I personally don't think it's possible to ENJOY a glass of wine, no matter how old you are.

My Contribution

So it's been a couple of nights since I blogged, which in a way was nice, but also made me feel like a total slacker. In addition to that slacker-ness, I also haven't finished my book for March. I figure that I read two books in January, and as such that buys me an extra week to finish my book for March. It's something I made up for myself, like "Resolution Extra Credit." And it's my resolution, so I figure I can do what I want.

So tonight after reading some E-mails I'm thinking about my life and about my friends: I have one that has moved twice in two years and in that time bought two different franchises, another of my friends is pregnant with her second baby, a little boy. I also had a friend write an E-mail tonight saying her and her husband just bought a house. Such huge accomplishments, and I try to think of anything that makes me feel a little better about where I'm at, and this is what I've come up with:

This weekend, I sent a postcard to Postsecret. A good one. And so did Jay. So now my Sunday Ritual Obsession will be that much more fun to look forward to, and it will also be interesting to see if you guys can pick out my postcard, if it happens to be chosen for the website.