My Current Favorite Picture

Extreme Elmo, an Elmo easter basket (which she refused to use on Easter) and inside the basket, her baby Elmo. It gets a little redundant, but it totally worth it because of how happy it makes her.

So Smart

Yesterday Jay and Kami and me were all sitting outside enjoying the warm weather, and Kami was running around. Jay said, "Kami, are you excited for your new little sister?" And she yelled, "YEAH!" Jay asked her, "Where is your little sister?" And she ran up to me and pointed to my belly and said, "Right there!" And put her mouth up to my belly and said something I couldn't understand, then ran off again. We were both a little bit shocked because she hasn't shown us that she understands before, so Jay had her come and sit between us, and asked again, "Kameryn, where is your little sister?" "Right there." She said, and pointed to my belly again. I really can't underestimate her anymore. She knows what's going on.

An Interesting Conversation

Jay: " 'A Warm Place' makes me think that Trent Reznor could just do instrumentals for the rest of his life and still do well."
Me: "Yeah, but I'm glad that he doesn't."
Jay: "There's something about a good instrumental. Life needs more instrumentals. Sometimes life just has too many words."

More Proof

Even if you weren't sure they were related, you could just look at the hair and know.

Impatience

I had my big ultrasound appointment set up for April 22, and upon thinking about it further realized there was NO WAY I could wait that long to find out if we're having a boy or a girl. So I moved it up, and the new date is April 15 at 3:45. Yes, that is two weeks from today, and in my opinion, STILL too long to have to wait. Everyone, think "BOY!"

Love Letter, Month 23

This is my little girl that will be 2 years old in a month.Words are exploding out of her lately. It seems like every day she says something new, because she's been quiet for so long that now she wants to learn things as quickly as possible to make up for lost time. Now in addition to telling us what a horse, cow, bird, duck, cat and dog all say (which we knew she could do) she's started pointing out apples, saying "Ashes" when she wants to play Ring Around the Rosies, and calling Isaac "Baby."
A couple weeks ago Jay got me a Sprite from the gas station, and when he handed it to me in the car Kami reached her hands out for it and said, "Wah wah." We didn't know she could say that, and we didn't teach it to her consiously. And that's how it goes. She says more words everyday, and is even getting better at sentences.It's been fun getting to hear a little bit about what she thinks, and the other night, what she dreams. Kami has nightmares, and has for awhile, but the other night she was able to let us know a little bit about it. She said, "Ma," which is one of her Grandmas, I don't know which (not me because she STILL calls me Daddy.) She also said "House" and "Oh gosh! What do I do?" With her hands on both sides of her head. It was sad to see because she was so upset, but interesting to have an idea of what she dreams about. And, luckily for us, the phrase "Oh gosh" has replaced the other, less tasteful phrase she had picked up from me before. Kami loves to color and frequently fills up any paper she can find with spirals that she draws. I wouldn't be surprised if she goes on to be quite a little artist like her aunts and uncles and Grandma. I know she didn't get the drawing gene from me!Easter is a blast every year, because the way my mom sets it up is something you can't grow out of. This year the Grandkids got candy in the playroom that they got to collect on their own, and Kami got it this year. She filled up her basket with that candy, and then when the race started for the rest of us, Kami followed behind, still holding her basket and grabbed all the big candy bars out of the dining room. After that she followed me into the front room and helped me grab candy and put it in my basket. We didn't plan it, but it couldn't have worked any better even if we had.There was a day when I went to a scrapbook expo with Jay and Danae and the babies, and while we were driving it started to snow. I was wearing thin little ankle socks which got really wet, and by the time we got back to my mom's house I took off my socks and shoes hoping I would warm up faster. I don't remember saying anything to my mom about how cold I was, but while I was lying on her bed she came and put some thick, warm socks on me. It was a little gesture, but I was so grateful for it because I was so cold, and ever since then it's been an example to me of the kind of mom I want to be for you.
I really hope that I can raise you right and you can grow into a beautiful girl that knows how important and priceless you are. I hope that I can help you when you need me, and sometimes anticipate what you might need even if you can't tell me. I'm so proud of you, and I can't wait to watch as you learn more. I know you're going to be a great big sister, and you enrich my life in a way that I doubt I could ever explain, but am so grateful for. I love you, big girl.

First Looks

Since my Internet is FINALLY back up, I wanted to share some of the most important things that have happened to me lately. First of all, I went and had my first ultrasound on Feb. 5 and we got this first picture of our good-lookin' baby:
It's not the greatest picture in the first place and I know this is blurry, but the head is the circle that's the farthest left, and it's in a profile, and then the rest of his body goes to the right. (We don't actually know if it's a boy or a girl, it's too early for that, but we're hoping for a boy so we always say "he" when talking about our new baby.) She thought I was about 10 weeks 2 days at my appointment, which puts me at exactly 13 weeks today. We got to hear his heartbeat, which was good and strong, and when we saw him up on the monitor he was moving all around, kicking his arms and his legs! Even now, it's still surreal that we're gonna have a new addition to our family before long. My due date is Sept. 5.
I was really nervous at first about how Kameryn is going to react. She loves to be the center of attention. Something that's a huge comfort to me is how much she loves being around Isaac and how much fun they have together. Another thing that I've noticed lately is how nurturing she is with her toys. She got an Extreme Elmo for Christmas and now he and Mr. Quackers come with us everywhere we go. She loves when Elmo is in a high chair right next to hers, and when she watches Blue's Clues she always has them both close by and makes sure they're adequately covered with blankets.
So it's getting really exciting. I know it's also going to be really challenging, but I'm excited for our little family to grow.

A Quick Kameryn Update

I've completely slacked on doing my monthly love letters to my sweet girl the last few months, even though she learns something new and still amazes me with it everyday. Just quickly I wanted to write about some of her most recent accomplishments, though most of them are small, and I will post some pictures of her later on. I've been waiting to post until I had pictures to go along with it, but the "rechargeable" batteries in our camera refuse to charge so we don't have any.
Lately Kameryn is learning and saying a bunch of new words. Possibly her most recent is "Elmo," thanks in part to a daily dose of Sesame Street and in part to the Extreme Elmo Jay's brother got her for Christmas. She loves Extreme Elmo and carries him around with her, but when you press his belly he laughs and shakes AND, as if the laughing and pulsating weren't enough, he throws himself onto his back, kicks his legs, waves his arms and then stands himself up again. Every time he does it Kameryn feels bad for him, thinking he must be hurting himself, so she goes to great lengths to avoid his belly at all costs.
Possibly her favorite new word is "Blue," which she says constantly because she's developed a strong, personal love for "Blue's Clue's" the T.V. show. It was kinda cute at first, and now that she's watching the tapes several times a day and Jay and I both unconsciously sing the songs even when she's NOT watching it, it's not as cute anymore. There is one part in the main song that she sings along to, we know because he pauses several times and she pauses with him, and I am very proud of her because I take it as proof that she's got my sense of rhythm and not her dad's, which is better for everyone.
Yesterday I was asking Kami to point out Elmo's mouth and nose and eyes, and I knew she knows all of those plus she can point out ears and hair, but all the sudden Jay started asking her to point out her hands, fingers, feet, toes, and her knees. And SHE DID. I don't know where I've been, but I had no idea she knew all of that, and in addition, Jay and I don't know where she learned it from! She's definitely a smart one.
A couple nights ago Kameryn kissed my belly, out of nowhere. My thoughts that she'll be incredibly jealous of her younger sibling are still there, but I'm not as worried about it as I was at first. I'm getting excited, I think she'll love to have someone to play with and someone to teach things to. Someone to dance with.

Hoping to Return to Some Normalcy

I'm sorry it's been so long since I blogged. Things seem to keep coming up for me. December was crazy with Christmas crafts and my radiology exam, and after I had finally gotten those two out of the way I had a sick baby. Kameryn started throwing up a few days before Christmas, and was sick as a dog for the holidays. On Christmas morning she came out and saw the tricycle under the tree that Jay had stayed up putting together for her, and she had enough energy to walk up to it and push it across the room, but after that she laid down on the floor in the middle of the room and didn't move. She finally got over whatever bug she had last night, and we're hoping that can be her dose of sickness for the YEAR.

Also, before the new year I found out some good news: I'm PREGNANT again! I'm not very far along, probably only 6 weeks at this point, and I have to keep reminding myself of the fact at all because it doesn't seem real. My first appointment will be on Feb. 5 with Dr. Ponder (aka Dr. Hottie, so named by Allison and her friends) and I'm hoping that going to the doctor will help me realize what I'm in for. I am so excited, and taking my pills and vitamins as I should, but something about it still doesn't seem REAL.

Luckily, I haven't started getting sick yet, which is good. Probably inevitable, but nice that I have had some fair warning and know it's coming.

I haven't gotten my scores back from my Radiology licensing exam yet, but I'll update everyone as soon as I get them. Until then, I'll try to post more often.

One Step Closer to Radiating Your Bones...

I passed my test and have a heavy duty certificate to prove it! I'm not quite as excited about it as I should be because he had the class take the test, and then he had us grade our own tests, and without asking a single score he started handing out graduation certificates. He told us we needed 70% to pass, and I figured out later that I had gotten 80%, so I would've passed HAD he taken scores into account, but it just makes me nervous. I would be so humiliated if I went to take the Licensing test in a couple weeks and was totally stumped.
It was nice to take that certificate in to the doctor and have him look at it. He held it and read the whole thing and then asked where we should hang it. That was a good feeling.
SO, the real party is going to be after I take my test on the 27th. Wish me luck!

Catching Up

Today I take my class final, and if I get 70% or better I complete the class. If I get 69% or worse, I fail the class and waste the money generously given to me by Dr. P and mom. I've studied with Jay AND in a study group of 2 other classmates AND by myself, and I've gotten to the point that if I study anymore, it may do more damage than good, and thus, I blog. It's been awhile, and I'm throughly ready to be done with this class and this test. I almost can't wait until the blessed time when I drive away from the DATC for the last time. Only a couple more hours.

I've taken a few more X-rays since my last post. Some of them have been beautiful and helpful, and others...not so much. I took a chest X-ray for the doctor yesterday which turned out much too light. The worst part of taking a bad X-ray is I don't have a license to just go in and repeat it, so I have to wait for the doctor to come look at it and decide if it's worth doing again. So there I was, standing next to my pitiful X-ray, just waiting for him to walk up, knowing there would be much disappointment. And there was. He flipped the light on to look at the X-ray, and then flipped it back off and said, "See, it looks better that way!" I'm completely grateful that he's patient with me, and has a sense of humor about the whole thing.

Also, since I'm so good at celebrating holidays a month late on my blog, I share with you some pictures of Thanksgiving.
This is a classic example of Jay and my undaunted ability to over-do things. All this food was for 4 people. But man was it good.
Here are the kids on Thanksgiving. Sometimes it's still hard to believe how fast a year goes by.

In Other News

• Jay has returned to the blogging world, and you can check it out at jayertmann.blogspot.com

• My class final in Radiology is on the 13th of December, and I found out in my last class that that final that I've been stressing out about? Yeah, it's been in the back of my workbook this WHOLE time. I've been carrying it around with me since day one. So we get to study the ACTUAL test. Takes the stress off, but also makes me wonder how well prepared I'll be for my licensing exam.
• You know, that licensing exam that I scheduled yesterday. So I'll officially be taking the exam on Dec, 27th. I tried to get one before Christmas, but they were all booked. My printout reads, "Total test time: 220 minutes. Please arrive 30 minutes early." So I don't expect to be able to form coherent sentences afterward. And there may be drooling involved.
• I've taken two more X-rays at work since I last wrote about it, a chest and a foot. Didn't have to redo them. So now (with some help from Wesley) I can tell you I'm 5 for 7!
• Kami turned 19 months old on the 29th. A sappy love letter will follow shortly. Until then, please enjoy Kami in her Elton John/Harry Openhower sunglasses.
• 

***WARNING: ANGRY RANT****

****Okay, this is the second warning and my disclaimer: This will be an angry, bitching rant and I am unapologetic. If you are easilly offended, read no further. And with that, I'm off.****

I called my dad's cell phone from work to give him some blood test results. A woman answers the phone who's voice I don't recognize.
Me: "Is C. Hanna there?"
L: "No, he's out of town, but this is his niece and I can give him a message if you want."
(Um, what? My dad barely talks to his brothers and sisters, he didn't leave his cell phone with one of their kids. By this point I'm so confused that I need to clarify.)
Me: "Is this C. HANNA?"
L, thinking I'm asking if SHE is C. Hanna (DUH!) answers: "No, this is C. Hanna's daughter."
(UM, WHAT THE HELL?!?!?!)
Me: "No, I'M C. Hanna's daughter. WHO is this?"
L: "Oh, this is his step daughter L."

The conversation ends civilly at that point because I'm at work. Here are my thoughts that WEREN'T said during this conversation because I was at work, but should've been:
"No, actually you're NOT C. Hanna's step daughter because our parents aren't married. I know that because if they were, I'd want to kill myself. Oh, woops, not the right person to say that to. Here's a tip: If you want to identify yourself so we'll know who you are, you can simply say "I'm the loser slacker mooch that lives with your dad and is a total pain in his ass." THEN I'll know who I'm talking to."

My whole life I've been proud to be my dad's daughter. He would come to talk in class, and I was like a peacock, so proud to show him off. I even remember when caller ID was new I was so excited because any time I called anyone my dad's name would show up. And even now, even when he came to the office to see the doctor I stopped him in front of every person we passed so I could tell my co-workers that this was my dad.

I can see why she would want to claim to be his daughter. But there's so many things that make it TOTALLY outlandish. First of all, there's a certain amount of class that goes along with being a Hanna. There's a HUGE desire to strive for intelligence and to make something out of your life. We want to be successful, and even if we're not there yet, we don't give up.

My dad's rules for us after we reached a certain maturity were, 1. Always use your best judgement and 2. There are no other rules. Well, most of us know what L's best judgement is, and if she's so convinced that the world is better off without her, she's probably right and she should use more successful methods. (Did that cross the line? I SO don't care. In fact, I think most people would agree with me. If you don't, you don't know enough about her.)

I don't agree with everything my dad does. There are a lot of views that we don't share. But I love him and am so proud of him, and it's disgraceful to him AND to me to have someone like that trying to claim him. She has a hell of a long way to go before she can call him Dad and have it be anything more to him than a flat-out insult.

Halloween

It's a month late, but worth it!

The New Laptop

Yes, believe your eyes, this is a new post. My last laptop died, unwilling to let me post or upload pictures or check my E-mail. A HUGE thank you to Allison and Steve for getting new laptops and giving me their old one, which will be a grand improvement and will help me get back into the blogging world. And thank you also to Jay, for knowing the difference between different cords and for being able to go out and, on the first try, buy the cord we needed to get us up and going again. It would have taken me a lot more than one try, so thank you for saving us time, money and also from me getting so frustrated I pick up and threw our new laptop.

So, my biggest news is that I'm nearing the end of the X-ray class that I have been taking. It's been a LOT harder than I expected, and I'm really nervous about the last two tests, the first of which will be on Dec. 13. However, the X-ray tech I used to work with is no longer at my office, so I have been positioning the patients and having the doctor press the button on the last few X-rays we did. My first X-ray didn't go so well. It was a hand X-ray, which is simple, except that I didn't give the machine enough juice so it was way too light. And I cut part of her thumb off in one view. AND that when I positioned her for the third and final view, I positioned her OVER a lead guard so it didn't appear at all. Opps. And yeah, when the doctor asked me to re-do it to darken it up, I turned the machine down instead of up, so the second X-rays were even lighter than the first ones. Opps. Needless to say, I wasn't too surprised when the hand X-ray we had he next day was sent to the hospital to get X-rays.

I had accepted that the doctor wanted to wait for me to finish my class to do anymore X-rays, when today he called me down to do a forearm. Needless to say, it still makes me nervous and is hard because he's in the room watching me fumble through, but I pulled off a decent X-ray that didn't need to be re-done. Then he had me do a finger. Success. And then another hand. SUCCESS. And then an ankle. That one came out FAR too light, and I was sweating when he asked me to go back in and do it again because my first repeat X-ray hadn't gone so well. But I came back out with X-rays that were as dark as he likes them!!! Instead of lighter than the first ones!!! It's a huge rush when I put up an X-ray that he can use. And all of this experience, though nerve-racking, is going to help me remember so much more on the test than just reading alone can. So we'll see what else he throws at me. So far I'm 3 for 2.

Other than that I'm going to take a couple days to catch this baby up. I know I missed a monthly newsletter for Kami, and we have another month in just a couple days. I may also tell the story of two girls I work with getting let go and making me the head MA. But I'll wait on that one. Don't want to get dooced.

THe Flipside

On the upside, sometimes not saying everything that comes into my head is a good thing. Today, I honestly had to resist the urge to say to a patient, "Man, for a big guy, you sure have little arms!"

Silent All These Years

So it happened again yesterday that I was put in a situation that made me feel uncomfortable and instead of saying what I think, I froze. I can't believe how often that happens to me! It seems so weird that there are times when I can't even gather MY OWN thoughts to vocalize them. Then later when I'm by myself or washing the dishes or whatever I think of all the things I could've said, and the monologe inside my head goes on and on of all the things I couldn't think of before, almost to torture me. It probably sounds overly dramatic, but it's something I wish I could change. Why do I tend to be one of the last people willing to stand up for me?

The Best She Can

I have to have some Dental work done, my appointment isn't until next Tuesday and I'm in pain for the meantime. I'm trying to control it with Advil and walking the line of never wanting to feel my throbbing tooth but also not wanting to overdose or hurt my stomach. Yesterday was the worst, probably because I finally went into the dentist and I somehow bulit it up in my mind that I just needed to wait for the appointment and the pain would be gone, only to have them take an X-ray, give me a prescription for Amoxicillan and send me on.

So at one point last night I just started crying. I consider myself pretty tough, but constant throbbing pain and feeling like there was nothing else I could do to help it left me feeling helpless. While the tears were coming down my face Kami ran over from where she was playing, climbed up on me and held my face in both her hands, wanting me to look at her. Then once I calmed down she hugged me and gave me kisses and wouldn't go play again until she was sure I was okay.

It's such an amazing feeling to love my little girl SO MUCH, and always be so proud of her and then realize on nights like tonight how much she's looking out for me, too. The best she can without saying a word.

Oops!

One night about a week ago Kameryn was entertaining herself by sticking these ducks to the wall. They had suction cups on the back because they were meant for giving the tub some texture. She would stick them on, and after awhile they would fall, and I noticed when they fell she'd say, "Oh chit!" Not believeing I had heard right, I told Jay what I thought she had said, and almost to prove me right, just then another duck fell down and she said it again. "Oh chit!"
Moral of the story: I need to learn to watch my mouth NOW, or get used to the idea of the mortified looks from other moms who realize that my daughter has learned to swear before learning how to say her own name.

Things About Me

These things never get old...

1. What time did you get up this morning? I think it was about 10:30. I usually get up earlier but it's Saturday and Kami didn't go to bed until 1 last night.
2. Diamonds or pearls? Diamonds
3. What was the last film you saw at the cinema? At the cinema??? Um, Superbad
4. What is your favorite TV show? Right now, Greys Anatomy thanks to Danae
5. What do you usually have for breakfast? Eggs and Toast
6. What is your middle name? Don't have a middle name
7. What kind of food do you dislike? Seafood, almost any kind. It grosses me out.
8. What is your favorite CD at the moment? My new Ani Difranco CD that Jay got me.
9. What kind of car do you drive? Nissan Sentra and a Pontiac Sunfire
10. Favorite sandwich? Turkey avacado or chicken salad
11. What characteristic do you despise? Rudeness
12. Favorite item of clothing? Comfy jeans
13. If you could go anywhere in the world on vacation, where would you go? Scotland
14. Where would you retire? In Seattle or Portland or maybe Alaska!
15. What was your most memorable birthday? 22nd
16. Favorite sport to watch? Football
17. Farthest place you are sending this? Through the depths of the internet
18. Person who will be the least likely to return this letter? ....yeah, about that, I kinda made it into a blog.
19. Favorite saying? I'm in love with most Ani Difranco lyrics. One of my favorites is "God help you if you are a pheonix, and you dare to rise up from the ash. A thousand eyes will smoulder with jealousy as you are just flying passed."
21. When is your birthday? 3/19/84
22. Are you a morning person or a night person? Night
23. Pets? None
24. What did you want to be when you were little? An actress
25. What are you today? I'm a medical assistant going to school to become an X-ray tech.
26. What is your favorite candy? chocolate
27. What is your favorite flower? Roses or Daisies
28. What is a day on the calendar you are looking forward to? Thanksgiving, a day I get to spend with my family.
29. What church do you attend? Currently, none
30. What are you listening to right now? Silence, both Jay and Kami are asleep.
31. What was the last thing you ate? Eggs in a Basket
32. If you were a crayon, what color would you be? Scarlett
33. How is the weather right now? Cold and Rainy
34 Last person you spoke to on the phone? Danae
35. Favorite soft drink? Dr. Pepper forever
36. Favorite restaurant? I always have a hard time with this one, but I'd say Iggy's or Johnny Carino's or Training Table since we have so much fun there. I'd much rather have food made at home.
37. Hair color? Brownish with streaks
38. Siblings? 2 brothers and 3 sisters
39. Favorite day of the year? Thanksgiving
40. What was your favorite toy as a child? I loved Puzzles. I'd sit at the coffee table and do the same 3 every day.
41. Summer or winter? Fall and Spring of course!
42. Hugs or kisses? Hugs
43. Chocolate or vanilla? Chocolate
44. Do you want your friends to email you back? Um yeah, about that...
45. When was the last time you cried? I am NOT the kind of person that cries during TV shows, that's for sure. And not Grey's Anatomy. Who would cry about that, that's stupid or something.
46. What is under your bed? Totes filled with pictures and things. When I have the money Amanda will come decorate and help me put them to use.
47. Who is the friend you have had the longest? Not counting sisters, Kim
48. What did you do last night? I watched Grey's Anatomy and Next Top Model and BEGGED Kami to finally go to sleep!
49. Favorite smell? Vanilla
50. What are you afraid of? Something happening to my family or unexpected expensive events.
51. Plain, buttered, or salted Popcorn? Buttered and Salted!
52. How many years at your current job? Just over 2
53. How many towns have you lived in? um, 3
54. Do you make friends easily? I'm getting better
55. How many people will you be sending this to? Whoever wants to read it...

Love Letter: Month 17

Kameryn, you have the cutest sense of humor! This month the two things that have really stood out to me as huge developments are that you've started telling jokes, and that you understand us so well. I can't believe how big you're getting and how much fun you are!We were sitting down to eat dinner one night and you were sitting in your highchair. You pointed at your dad and said "Daddy" but then looked and pointed at me and said "Daddy." You'd point to him, "Daddy" and then when you'd point to me and say it you'd start laughing, like you knew it was wrong and it was cracking you up. So often you make your daddy and me look at each other and laugh, you're so fun to be around and full of surprises.You love dancing so much that we have started taking you to a dance class on Thursday mornings. It's for kids 12-36 months, and is taught by our friend Amanda (YEAH!) You love being with the other kids, and since it's hard to teach kids that young to dance, we usually just run around. Anytime you do dance, though, you get the other parents and kids watching you. Today we went and Amanda was having us run around pretending to be airplanes, and then we would crash. You were running around and were cracking up when everyone crashed, and then finally after all the rest of us were on the floor you laid down on the floor on your stomach, but you couldn't stop laughing. There was only one other girl in the class today, and by the end you guys were hugging each other. There's another girl in the class named Eltey, and even though she's older than you, probably 4, she follows you around and when we were leaving a couple weeks ago she asked when she could see you again. She said, "I like her, she's a crazypants."This month you're getting another tooth on the bottom right, and I think you have the cutest smile ever. You're still getting better at eating, but the problem you run into now is that you like the taste of things so much you stuff a lot in your mouth, and then have to spit it out because it's more than you can swallow. You're so smart, you meow when you see a cat, and bark when you see pictures of dogs. If you hear a dog barking outside you'll point to where you heard the noise come from and bark. You love butterflies, and you love putting on your socks and shoes. Anytime we get them on you you look at your feet and say, "Walk walk walk." You love walking and like to hold both my and your dad's hand when walking down the street. You also LOVE chocolate, and know where to find it. The other day you got up on the table and crawled over to the cookie jar, knowing that's where we keep the kisses.Everyday when I come home from work when I walk in the door you say, "HI!" in a sweet, high voice, and then I come and hold you and you hug me so tight and laugh. We're best friends, you always snuggle with me and your dad. You're also started to be a big helper, anytime I'm putting clothes from the washer into the dryer I put them on the door and you love to push them in, and then when I tell you to you love to shut the dryer. It's so fun that you're old enough to start little rituals like that. You're so smart it amazes me. I feel so lucky to have you around. The more I get to know you, the more I love you which is weird, because I loved you with my whole heart the first time I saw you. Being with you reminds me of a quote from Lost In Translation when Bill Murray is talking about his kids, and he talks about how "the day the first one is born is the scariest day of your life. You're life as you know it is gone. But then they learn to walk and they learn to talk and they turn out to be the most amazing people. You want to be with them." That's how I feel, lucky to have such a smart, happy daughter that I love to be around.

Avoiding Lawsuits 101

For anyone that doesn't know, I'm currently a student. That's right, the kind that gets homework and has to be to class on time. The doctor I work for and mom both pitched in a bit to help get me enrolled in a radiology class, and when I'm done I'll be licensed to take X-rays at my clinic, much like Gary before he went back to school again. My first class was last Thursday, and the first class period was dedicated to the laws and ethics of radiology. My teacher, who's name is Dave and never did provide a last name, has worked in the hospital for 17 years and was telling us some of the lawsuits he's seen over the years.
Some were pretty basic: A man had one good lung and one that was collapsing and riddled with cancer...and the surgeon took out the wrong lung.
One he told us about happened a couple years ago. The circus came to town and one of their attractions was the world's fattest woman. He said she was 800+ pounds and she hadn't walked in 4 years. To have her in the show they had to use a crane to bring her on stage and then take her off. Well, one night something went wrong with the crane and she broke her hip. They brought her to the hospital and had to use the service elevator to take her upstairs because all the others would max out with her in them. They had to tie two hospital beds together with ropes and things and she still barely fit on the bed. After her surgery to fix her hip she was in the hospital for another week or so recovering when she got pneumonia. My teacher was called in to get an X-ray of her lungs, and he said him and the guy he was working with were both terribly embarassed because they had to do 6 different X-rays before they could even find her lungs. The woman was big, and the whole hospital was buzzing about her. The whole hospital....and a bunch of nurses who all went to Wendy's together to get lunch. They were talking and laughing about this woman...and her family was in the booth right behind them. I don't think I need to tell you who won that case!
Anyway, I really love school and I'm excited to learn all of this for the next 3 months!

Love Letter, Month 16

I can't believe how big you've gotten, how beautiful you are or how smart you've become! It seems that every month you get more personality exponentially, and I'm completely pleased with the sweet, sensitive girl you're becoming. You also definatly have an attitude. Of course I wouldn't have it any other way.There is quite a long list of words you say that I can understand. Possibly your most recently acquired word is actually a name, "Isaac," which when you say it sounds more like "Isee." You love your cousin so much you call out for him sometimes when you first wake up, and you've changed Mr. Quackers name to Isaac as well. You say his name so sweetly, in a high pitched, excited voice when he's actually around, and while we were in Veags you entertained all of us by kissing him over and over, holding both sides of his face so that you could kiss him right on the mouth. Other words you proudly say are the substitutes for "Grandma," "Butterfly," "Keys!" - which you always call for anytime we're walking out the door - and a recent favorite, "Thank you" which is actually more "Dank Doo." Even when you don't know how to say it, you are a master at getting your point across with different sounds and facial expressions. One night in Vegas we went to a Japanese restaurant that was a lot like Tapenyaki, and as the chef did our show you would coo, squeal and clap. For me, it was as entertaining to watch you as it was to watch him.At 16 months you've decided that you're a big girl and would like to be treated that way. You will scream and kick if we put you in a highchair in a restaruant, but then are easilly appeased if we put you in a chair with a booster seat. The one thing that you haven't moved on from is your bottle, which you still love and call for. We've tried to switch you to a sippy cup but haven't yet, mostly because your will is stronger than ours. I think we'll need to get our resolve up soon, but you're enjoying it in the meantime.

One of my favorite ways to pass time is to watch you dance. You LOVE to dance and you've definatly got some signature Kami dance moves. One is the "No Handed Headstand," in which you keep your legs straight, put your head on the ground and lift your hands up. This move is saved for only the most elite of occasions. Also, a move I think only you can really pull off, the squat. Essentially, you squat down and hold it. You don't move to the music at all, you let the squat do the talking. That's a favorite among your fans. You do a lot of arm work, sometimes spinnging your hands around each other, and you really get into hip movements, sometimes popping a hip an holding it, just waiting for the music to start. (This picture doesn't quite do it justice, but this is during some of your hip-shaking dancing.)

Isaac still has double the teeth you have. You've spent the last month growing your other top tooth so you're mouth is more even again. You love to bite on things and sometimes us, without the intention of actually hurting us. You're still working on mastering the art of eating, you swallow a much bigger percentage of your food with one catch: If we're giving you something you think tastes really good, you keep asking for more, holding it all in your mouth until your mouth is too full and you spit everything out. Your favorite foods right now are still pasta and you love funeral potatoes, but since you're a big girl you prefer to have your own food with your own utensils to eat in, and when you're done if there's any left over you're a big fan of dumping said food all over the table or highchair and smearing it around with your hands. That old trick never gets old. You love cats. Also, to my despair, you love dogs and will make a barking sound anytime you see or hear one. At Grandma's house you love to be close to the cats, sometimes touching them but mostly just following them around saying "Hi Kitty!" You squeal anytime you see one, and upon hearing the squeal all of the other cats run outside or under the bed. Nothing deters you're love for animals, though, and I bet that will stay with you as you get older.

You're such a sweet girl. You love your family and you're always giving kisses, sometimes going around a group several times before wanting to stop. You hum the "M" sound, that's the cue that you want a kiss, and sometimes when I bring you into bed with me you wake me up by kissing me and stoking my hair and face. I hope someday you know just how incredible it is to be woken up that way by your son or daughter, because words can't even describe how amazing it feels. You light everything up for me. You're still constantly teaching me, but as I watch you get older and learn more, I can't help but just be more proud of you.

Loving the Bud

So today I had to type in blogger.com, it's been so long since I've actually blogged anything that it's not in my pull down menu anymore. So, need to blog more often, I get it. I actually have a cool story, but this morning I will not be telling it and instead will do a cheater blog made possible by pictures of my sweetest girl.

Kameryn loves Geoffrey. She always wants him to hold her and if she can be close to him, she's perfectly content. Shown here:

I've Been Tagged

So, Kim tagged me to write my answers to this meme. First time I've ever been "tagged" to do anything. Compared to hers mine will be pretty boring, but here it goes:

5 Things I was Doing 10 Years Ago
1. In all fairness, I don't have the clearest memories of when I was 13. But about this time, I was taking pictures of EVERYTHING. I would take my camera with me everywhere, and frequently call my friends over to have a "photo shoot."
2. I was listening to the Spice Girls and loved to come home and do my homework while watching The Box, which was a channel of music videos and people just had to call and pay to request one. I still remember that the code for the "Wannabe" music video was 325. I never said I was cool.
3. During the summer about this time I would stay over at my friend Abby's house until about 2-3 in the morning, go home and sleep until about 2 in the afternoon and then repeat. We would spend afternoons playing Nerts and jumping on the tramp and I remember sitting in the bathroom many a time while one or the other of my friends were shaving their legs.
4. I was in Junior High at Millcreek Elementary and I hated it. I was in two different choirs, which was fun, but I ditched school often.
5. It was also about this time that I got the worst grade of all time up until that point, which was a D in Science. A lot of my grade was based on building and shooting off a rocket, and I think I turned it in on the last day of school. Science has never been my forte.
5 Things On My To-Do List Today
1. Clean my apartment, with the main focus on doing dishes and laundry. The weekend is the time I try to clean, and then we can spend the whole week messing it up again, though with Kameryn it only takes about 4 hours to trash the place.
2. GET PAID! Then we will celebrate our newly acquired money by spending it on getting Jay some more tattoos.
3. Write more letters.
4. Call the DATC to find out more about taking the radiology class so I can take X-rays at work.
5. Grocery shopping for milk, eggs and stamps, at least.
5 Snacks I Enjoy
1. The Spinach and Artichoke Dip you can ONLY get at Costco. It's a good thing we don't get it too often, because I'm addicted.
2. Dr. Pepper: my most trusted, go-to snack.
3. Chips and Queso: the ultimate snack while watching episodes of Lost one after another.
4. Chocolate, anytime, any kind.
5. Those new chocolate chip cookies with chocolate on the bottom. I think Chelsee and Geoff will back me up on that one. Another Lost watching favorite.
5 Songs I Know the Lyrics To
Jay makes fun of me because I know at least some lyrics to most songs, and yes, I will sing along even if I don't like the song. I don't think that's too unusual. If I need to narrow it down to 5, it would look like this:
1. "You Oughta Know" by Alanis Morsette
2. "Amen" by Paula Cole
3. "Not a Pretty Girl" by Ani Difranco
4. "The Hand that Feeds" by NIN
5. "Shimmer" by Fuel
5 Things I Would Do If I were A Millionaire
1. Pay off my debt!!!
2. Pay for both Jay and me to go back to school. He wants to go back and learn achitecture, and in the meantime I would love to take some fun classes, like Spanish and learning to play the Guitar and Psychology.
3. I would go to Europe. There's so much I want to see. If I could only choose one place to go, though, it would be Scotland. And I'd totally stop by Loch Ness.
4. I'd buy a coffee shop for anyone that still would want to help run it and a hotel for my mom. A Bed and Breakfast, right Mom? That way we'd both have our dream jobs.
5. I'd go somewhere beautiful where I felt inspired and write a book.
5 Bad Habits
1. I frequently stay up at night checking blogs or writing letters or cleaning the house when I know I should get to bed.
2. I drink Dr. Pepper ALL THE TIME.
3. I spend money without thinking and regret it later.
4. I'm late. For everything.
5. I watch a lot of TV. Hopefully that will change because Hell's Kitchen and So You Think You Can Dance are over, but while they're on I watch them religiously.
5 Things I'd Never Wear Again
1. Body Suits. I think that may be going back to Elementary School, but it was the first thing that came to mind.
2. Stirrup Pants
3. I bought a HIDEOUS shirt from 5 Points Mall once, it was white with tassels and beads on it, and I only wore it to school once...but it was picture day.
4. Banana Hair Clips
5. And for something I won't ever wear currently - those rubber/plastic looking shoes that have the holes all over them. Do you know which ones I mean? Yes, I've heard that they're light and comfortable. But they're SO UGLY.
5 Favorite Toys
1. My Camera
2. Laptop, though it is still infected.
3. My mom's CD burner that I only leanred how to use a couple days ago.
4. Super Nintendo with Donkey Kong and Donkey Kong Country.
5. My favorite toy of Kami's is the Sesame Street one that sing the "C is for Cookie," "Rubber Ducky" and "Oh, I Love Trash" songs.
4 Jobs I've Had
1. Bagger at Dick's Market. I kept that job for 3 months.
2. Ice Cream Scooper at Baskin Robbins.
3. Arctic Circle, baby. I LOVED the people there, but anytime anyone came in that I knew I was completely horrified.
4. Currently: Medical Assistant. I may complain about it from time to time, but I really love it. I love constantly learning while I'm working, I love working around such smart people, and I love knowing that I do my job well.
4 Movies I Can Watch Over and Over
1. Shawshank Redemption, as long as I can fast forward the guards beating that guy in the beginning.
2. Good Will Hunting.
3. Chicago. I love the music in it, and it's the one I put in most often when I'm cleaning and want to listen to something.
4. Little Miss Sunshine!!!
4 Places I've Lived
This is where I start showing how boring I am:
1. Bountiful, UT
2. Salt Lake City, UT
3. North Salt Lake, UT
4. I did stay with my friend in Pennsylvania for a month, and I'm counting it.
4 Shows I Enjoy
1. So You Think You Can Dance? I love this show so much. Some dances on it make me want to cry.
2. LOST! PLEASE COME BACK ON!
3. Hell's Kitchen
4. Scrubs! SO FUNNY!
4 Places I've Been On Vacation
1. New York City, New York. We saw a bunch of Broadway and I loved every second of it.
2. Washington, D.C.
3. Seattle, Washington. This is where we honeymooned, and I would go back in a heartbeat.
4. Lancaster, Pennsylvania. I actually got to see fireflys and they're about the coolest thing ever.
4 Favorite Restaurants
1. Tapanyaki. Good food and the show is halarious.
2. Johnny Carino's. I'm a sucker for Italian and they are SO GOOD.
3. Iggy's Sports Bar. Even when we get the new waiter and he drops our food about 20 feet from the table.
4. Bajio's. That's the only place where my normal order is a salad.

Just a Little Joke...

The other night Jay and I decided to take Kameryn on a drive to help get her to sleep. We knew once in the car she would fall asleep quickly as she had been playing hard with her Aunt Chelsee, Uncle Geoff and Grandma Hanna most the night. When we got into the car, that same smell was there again, only stronger. Our car is VERY old, and truthfully, sometimes after it rains it gets a sort of dirty-shoe musk that lasts for a couple hours. That's what I had chalked this smell up to, against my better judgement because it hasn't been raining, but sitting in the car I knew that it wasn't that. Something was so very wrong. This smell was no where near a musk, it was a straight out offence.

So Jay got out and started looking through the backseat trying to find the culprit and after a minute he said, "Oh, there it is. There's a fish back here."

Um, WHAT?!

Apparently a guy he works with used that as his latest prank in an ongoing game betweeen the two of them. He really must've just thought it would be funny and wasn't trying to be too coldhearted because he left the fish in it's package so once we found it there wouldn't be too much to cleaning it up.

But come ON, who thinks it's funny to leave a fish in someone's car?! There's an aspect of the male mentallity that I don't think I'll EVER understand.

Quick Update

It's been awhile since I've posted because I've been using the posting time for writing actual letters. Real handwritten ones, with the stamp and everything. I've been thinking about it since I read "The Letter Project" website, and I agree that hand-writing letters is quickly becoming a lost art.
If anyone wants me to write them a letter, let me know, I'd be happy to.
In other news, we re-did Jay's resume today and are going to be actively trying to get him a new, normal, daytime, weekends-off type job. This ultimately means that I'll most likely go full time also and we'll have to put Kami in daycare. That will be the hardest part. We still are trying to get Jay into school, though, and we want to get him in by Janurary. If we can do it, it will be worth it.
That's all for tonight, I'm afraid. I'll post again soon.

Love Letter, Month 15

Kameryn, This is my favortie picture of you right now, (taken by Chelsee) because it sums this month up pretty well. At this point you seem to have two moods: The one pictured above, and your sleepy tantrum-filled mood. Luckilly, you're usually such a happy baby that loves to dance around and talk endlessly and laugh and give high-fives. And the tantrums? We're getting better at handling those, too.
I'm starting to think that you're 15 months going on 12 years. This month you've given me a glimpse into my life years from now when you're a teenager, and I'm happy to report that at least we have 13 years before that point, and honey, there's no rush. I say this because almost mysteriously your favorite thing to do has been to pretend to talk on the phone. You walk around with our cell phone (which doesn't work, luckilly) talking and laughing. You love to push the buttons on the real phone, and your favorite person to talk to is that one that will come on if you just wait long enough. You're best friend: "If you'd like to make a call..." You talk to her intently, and then the beeping starts that would tell anyone else that the phone was off the hook, but you know better. It's a punchline to an awesome joke, and when you hear it you bust up laughing.You've gotten better at eating, and I'm happy to report that you've gotten better at swallowing the food you put in your mouth. Your favorite food right now is cheese, any kind of cheese, and you'll sit contentedly and eat all the cheese we'll give you. We also let you have ice cream the other day while visiting Chelsee, and we broke down and had her fill a small cup of whipped cream for you, and you easilly could've died happy. You are so good at using both a spoon and a fork, and you will happily play with them even when you're done eating. I get so proud of all the progress you've made, and now we just need to work on going from a bottle to a sippy cup. This might get ugly.Lately you have become the master of imitation. There was one day that I was carrying you and two garbage bags out to the dumpster, and as we were coming back I said, "Wow, that was kinda hard because those were heavy, and you're getting so heavy!" But then I flexed with my other arm and made the grunting, "I'm so strong" sound, and you did it right after me! You honestly crack me up. You'll copy me with almost anything, though, trying to imitate what I do and the sounds I make. I think you're so amazingly cute and so smart!This month you've really showed us how big your heart is and how much you love your cousin Isaac. We were over at Gary and Danae's house playing and Isaac was sleeping upstairs. When he woke up he started to cry, and you looked around for him but couldn't see him, and you started BAWLING, so concerned that he was upset and you couldn't help. Even after Gary went upstairs and got him, you wouldn't stop crying until you SAW him, just to make sure he was okay.
Jay also says that the two of you are thick as theives. You will spend your time finding toys for Isaac to play with and giving them to him, and you'll cry if you're not in the same room as him. We all knew you guys would be friends, we just didn't realize how close you would be!

Unlike Isaac, though, who is 5 months younger and now has 8(!) teeth, you have three and are currently cutting the other top tooth. You love to use them to break off bread and you've even bitten a parent or two. We're still desperately hoping that you've got your dad's teeth and not mine, but that is something only time will tell. Kami girl, I love you so much. I'm so proud of all that you're learning and how smart and fun you are. You seem to be both very independant and also such a lover, and I think you have the sweetest spirit. I can never do you justice in these blogs, and today is no exception, but know that I think you're amazing, and I hope you keep dancing and living and loving the way that you do now.

Small Blurb

Off to the side of my Hotmail inbox are the MSN articles that they want to catch your eye, and one of them tonight says "How to Survive a Kidnapping." I'm one of those people that looks at it and rolls my eyes, and if I ever were kidnapped and in the trunk of the car I'd think about it and be like, "Damnit! Should've read it..."

First Looks

I know that I'm the queen of doing things late, ie getting my wedding video 2 years later. This isn't QUITE as bad as that one, I'm only 15 months late, and I think that's a step in the right direction.
When I went to the hospital - in labor and dialated to a 5 - I was convinced they were going to check me and send me home again. I was so convinced of it that I didn't take anything with me - including a camera. The hospital had one and they took these pictures, which I hadn't seen until today.
And for the record, I don't think you should take a picture of a woman that's just given birth.

Looking at these, it's so easy to remember the amazement of having a baby and looking at her and reveling in how perfect she is, and it all seems like such a sacred miracle. This day changed the rest of my life, but I wouldn't dare take it back.

Not Kidding

Yesterday was another day when the bad news comes in threes. It actually started a week ago when Mom's car broke down on their way home from Cedar City. We have two cars and we mostly just use whichever has the most gas, so we were fortunately able to lend her one of our cars for the past week, and it hasn't been a big deal at all.

Until last night.

Around 8:30 we decided to drive over to Chelsee's to give her a vaccuum that Jay's parents were going to give away. We noticed that the car was acting funny, but just that the speedometer wasn't working right. Jay noticed that it popped up when he turned on the turn signal, and then dropped again when he hit the brake. And we stopped at a stoplight, and the car was dead. Luckilly, we were on 2600 where there's a slight hill, so he was able to get the car to coast fast enough and then turn into a parking lot and into a parking spot. I was lucky he was there, because there's no way I'd be strong enough to do it.

So we walked down to Chelsee's, a little annoyed but realizing how much worse it could be, and from there we called Jay's parents to ask if we could borrow their car. They said we could, so we drove up there and got the car from them, and Jay's dad said that he would drive over to where our car had broken down to follow Jay and tow him if he had to so we could get the car to a mechanic.

We sat at the restaruant and waited for him. It had gotten late, it had gotten dark, and Jay still had to be to work at midnight. We honestly didn't know what was taking him so long, he should've been right behind us.

Then Jay's aunt and uncle turn into the parking lot - completely unexpected- and tell us that no, he's not coming and on top of that, they need their car back because his truck won't start.

Come on.

We got it figured out, Mom is riding to work with Chelsee and we'll just take our other car back, but the hassle of all of it made it so Jay got about 45 minutes of sleep before he had to go to work. And now we have the added bonus of needing to get our car towed this morning and fixed -AGAIN.

I know it could be a lot worse. However I can't deny all the parallels I saw to a bad sitcom last night.

HAPPY BIRTHDAY CHELSEE!

Chelsee, you're beautiful and fun to be around and I'm so proud of your work ethic and how you're getting back into school. You're so talented, you make amazing cakes and take beautiful pictures. You've always been such a good Aunt to Kameryn, I know how much she loves you and how much she loves to have you around. She's content to have your head against hers with her hand in your hair.

You have always been there for me and Jay, and you've helped us out too many times to remember. We both really appreciate it. We love you so much!

This Is Why I Don't Cook

I don't cook. I can make some mean fried eggs, and you can count on me for spaghetti or anything with instructions on the back of the box when I just need to add butter, water and milk. With those receipies, I'm golden.
On the 24th, Jay went to bed at three in the afternoon, exhausted from his weekend spent reading Harry Potter. At the same time that he fell asleep, Kameryn went down for an axiously awaited, long overdue nap. And just like that, I had an afternoon to myself. I did a few different things before the brillance dawned on me that I wanted to make something. I decided on a cake, washed the dishes and then started getting stuff out. I'm sure the cake would've worked, had I stuck to the plan. My logic for that conclusion is that the ingredients are listed on the back of the box. Add water, oil and an egg and I'm golden.
But no, I decide I want to be even more creative, so I pull out a book I got as a wedding gift called "101 Things to Do With a Cake Mix" and from there decide on some cakey-cream cheesy bars that I've made before and turned out pretty well. So I'm getting everything together, and it gets to the point where I need to grease the pan and put my creation into the oven.
So I pull some Western Family Shortening out of the cupboard, grab a paper towel and begin to spread it around. My first clue that something is wrong comes from the fact that it's more sticky than anything, it doesn't spread well at all. I get a little bit more on the paper towel and this time when I'm looking at the shortening I notice that it's sort of clear. Weird. I remember it being white.
I think the thing that FINALLY got me was the smell. The smell of shortening, but amplified until it's almost too much to take.
So I look at the can again, trying to find an expiration date. I find it. April 2003.

After this realization I notice another sign that should have steered me away from the goop before I spread it all over. The label is completely saturated. So the thought should've been, "Hey, why is shortening on my hands before I've even taken the lid off the can?" Yeah. I told you I don't cook much.

It took about 7 good, hard scrubbings before I got the nastiness off my hands, and while I'm standing there scrubbing I realize that I must've bought this shortening when I lived in Salt Lake, before I got married. I've lived in two apartments since then AND with my mom for a year. And thankfully I had the shortening in a box somewhere, JUST IN CASE, that whole time. By the time we unpacked it when we moved here it had been expired for 3 years already. But yeah, we just put it up in the cupboard.

So maybe it's time to work on this whole pack-rat thing.

*****Mom mentioned in her comment that I didn't say how the cakey cream cheesy bars turned out. I didn't use the shortening pan to cook them in, luckilly. However, they still turned out to be pretty tasteless in the end. I would've been more disappointed but I was making funeral potatoes at the same time, something I love but have never made before, and they turned out awesome...even if I did buy frosted flakes instead of corn flakes to go on top....*****

Crazy Dreams

Harry Potter is everywhere. So I'm sure I'm not the only person who was dreaming about him last night. But while most people are dreaming about wizards and spells and wands and magic potions, my mind went to an interview I heard on NPR yesterday with Michael Moore, so I dreamed that Harry Potter was denied Health Insurance.
I think I'll call it "The More Practical Harry Potter - If Potter Can't Get Health Insurance, Who Can?" or, more simply, "Harry Potter, the Sicko."

Blog Challange

I have all my favorite blogs listed in my Favorites and I check them nearly every day. I find it really entertaining and relaxing. I admit, I have two in here that are blogs I've come across for people I have never met, and I still read them religiously. One of these blogs is Unabashedlyheatherlynn.blogspot.com, and Heather is an English teacher in PA. In true English teacher fashion, she gives "Wednesday Blog Challanges" and she picks a theme that she would like you to write about. The one for last week was confessions.

Confess away. It could be anything. You don't pay your bills on time. You haven't eaten a vegetable in three years. You don't know your times tables. You wear the same underwear two days in a row. You haven't yet washed the pot that's been in your sink for the past two months. Your neighbors complain because you mow your lawn too infrequently. You kiss your pet on the mouth. You talk to yourself out loud - and answer yourself. You're wearing your old e-rings and wedding band just because they look pretty and happened to be right next to the computer (*blush*).

Obviously I don't usually blog my answers to them, even though they do get me thinking, but tonight I figure, What the Heck? So here it is, a list of confessions you may or may not know about me:

I am TERRIBLE at Geography. I think I've admitted to this before, but I don't have the foggiest idea what is where. It's not that I haven't tried to learn, it just doesn't stick with me for some reason.

I also still check my hands to know right from left. It's more of a comfort thing than anything. I don't do it the typical way, I know that my scar is on my left hand, so I'll glance at my left hand, see the scar and know that it's right. (Ha!)

I LOVED being pregnant. I loved it so much I get jealous when I see pregnant women, which I know isn't the typical response. There is something so amazing about being pregnant, and I was always so proud of what my body was capable of doing. Getting pregnant again soon isn't a good idea for me, but I can't wait until I am again.

I never pay my bills on time. I don't think anyone is surprised by that one.

More than that, though, I never do ANYTHING on time, let alone early. I heard once that people who are chronically late are trying to let people know that they can't be controlled, a "I'll get there when I want to get there" sort of attitude, but I don't think that's the explination in my case - I just procrastinate.

I cry ALL THE TIME. And it's not crying because I'm sad most of the time, I cry when I'm moved by something. And it's no holds barred, I'm afraid, it can be a movie, or a TV show, or a commercial, or Story Corps or the news. Anything.

I'm a pack rat, and in my mind, I'm the worst kind. I keep things in case I need them one day, but worse than that, I almost don't know what's important to keep and what can be thrown out when it comes to papers and receipts, so I keep everything.

And I'll give you a last one and then wrap this up: I think that if Harry Potter lives I'll consider reading the books.

Random Thursday Night Thoughts

My thyroid ultrasound is tomorrow and for the life of me I can't find my insurance card ANYWHERE, even though we have TWO and I know for a fact we had it a WEEK AGO for Jay's appointment. It makes me so crazy to be so unorganized, and now that Kami's finally asleep I decided to blog a bit to calm down before I go to bed.
Here are some random things that are on my mind:

Thanks to Danae and Chelsee, Jay and I snuck off to see a pre-screening of Hairspray last night. And the truth of it is that cheesy movies with good music and lots of dancing are right up my alley. I liked the movie, I LOVED the soundtrack. I plan on getting it and listening to it over and over on the way to and from work. I suspect I'll listen until I know all the words, and then listen until I'm almost sick of it, and then instead of taking it out and listening to something else so I don't get sick of it, I'll play it a few more times.

A specimen got lost at work, which was brought to the attention of the doctor yesterday. After figuring out who was where on that day, since it was Monday a week ago, and none of us remembered, we found out that I was the only one working. So, one way or another, this was my fault. And my co-worker wasn't discreet about the fact, going up to the doctor and telling him it was either her or me that lost it, and it wasn't her. (Real smooth, right?) I KNEW I had sent it out, so I started calling the lab to bug them about it. I called them 5 timees before they finally said, "There's nothing we can do. You have to call the courriers." Which I did. I talked to person One, who had to transfer me to person Two, where I had to leave a voicemail.
Then, today, while I was bringing a patient back they got a call. "Wow, here it is after all." And who took the call and let the doctor know? Mrs. "It Wasn't Me." And truthfully I'm just glad that it's over and the patient doesn't need to come back in to get cut open again. And I'm glad that the office knows that when I said I sent it, I was telling the truth. But with all the work I put into it, and the way my co-worker brushed it off as lost forever, it would've been THAT much sweeter if I had gotten the call myself. I know that's a little childish, but that's what I think.

Mom and I went to a Kurt Bestor concert on Monday, and it was such a blast. It was outside, which was nice. And Mom is so cute, she got her tickets forever ago, so our seats were 3 rows from the stage, right in the center. Kurt was playing with the Utah Orchestra, and it was so awesome, as anyone who's been to a Kurt Bestor concert can attest to. Then, afterward while we were walking out we passed a table where they were selling CDs, and we kept on walking until Mom said, "Well, Kjersti, do you want a CD?" Of course I did, so we went back and were standing there picking out which CD we wanted when Kurt himself came walking out and sat down RIGHT IN FRONT OF US to sign CDs. And we were in the front of the line. It was so amazingly lucky.

While I was putting Kami to bed tonight there was a point when I was holding her and rocking her, and she looked up at me and put her little hands on both my cheeks and whispered to me. I would give anything to know what she thought she was saying. And after that she started kissing me and running her fingers through my hair. Sweet moments like that with my baby girl have to be my favorite thing ever.

My Discovery

This past Friday I was talking to our Physican's Assistant about how I've been feeling nauseated almost every night for a couple weeks, but I've taken a couple pregnancy tests and they were both negative. She was asking about my birth control (I was on the patch) and she said that isn't a good choice for me and I should try something else. That conversation turned into a visit so she could prescribe something for me, which turned into my annual exam because it was long overdue. And yes, I know, I work in a doctor's office and I should be more careful about things like that, but come on, no one looks forward to that exam. The ONLY good part about it is when it's over you know you're good for another year.
So at the end she said she wanted to get some blood work, which I admit I got a little too excited about, and I said something like, "Oh, I love getting my blood drawn. Feel free to run anything you want on me." And she said, "Alright, I had some things in mind." And she ordered 8 tests, checking my thyroid and cholesterol and complete blood count and all that.
I really do love getting my blood drawn. I don't like getting pricked, but I don't mind it either, and I'm always amazed with ALL the many things they know about you from a little bit of blood. They can check all the cholestrol, my iron count, my calcium, my platelets, my liver, my C02, and all of it from a bit of blood.
Well, we got my bloodwork back and everything came back normal except one thing. My thyoid. The range for normal thyroids is 0.45 and 4.5. Mine was at 16.94. And just like that, we know that I'll be taking Synthroid or the like for the rest of my life.
The good thing about it is that taking the pills- once we find the right dose, which admittedly might take awhile - will give me more energy and with any luck will help me lose some weight. And even without that, I think it's so much better to know than to not know and worry.
SO, for the people in my family, I suggest getting your thyroid checked. If me and mom both have it, there's a good chance that it runs in the family.
And to everyone else, make sure you make your appointments, even the bad ones. Who knows how much earlier I could've caught this if I had just been a little braver.
And there it is, my commercial for staying on top of healthy living. Next up for me: A thyroid ultrasound this Friday morning to make sure my thyroid is nodule free.

Yesterday I called to tell our patient about his polysomnogram (sleep test) results. He had sleep apnea, and they wanted me to set him up for a CPAP titration study, which is when you get fitted for the CPAP machine, a rather large and awkward mask you wear at night to make sure you breathe. I called him and started to read him his results:
"And it says that you've got sleep apnea, so I'm gonna set you up with a new test that will get you fitted for your CPAP."
"No, I'm not wearing that damn thing. What are my other options?"
I say, "Yeah, a lot of people have to get used to them for a couple weeks, but after that you'll be used to it and it won't be so bad."
He's unrelenting. "I won't wear it. What else can I do?"
"Well, it says here that you could also have surgery."
"Let's do it. I want the surgery. What are they gonna do? Do they go up through my nose?"
"I don't know.: Thinking, People don't GET surgery when they can just wear a machine at night! "But I'll refer you to someone who will tell you. Um, okay, here are some numbers for some ENTs."

I don't know if the transcript of it does it justice. It was so unusual and unexpected.

And, my total blond moment, I was reading through his test results before I called him and it said "Patient can also work on not sleeping supine, as a lot of the episodes happened in this position." And my first thought was, "How is he supposed to work on sleeping without lying down?"
(Supine means laying down, just specifically on your back.)

Just Glad It's Over...

I wanted to have some fun pictures of the 4th to post. I had one in mind that I really wanted to get, the picture of Dad when he kneels down and touches the graves of the Medal of Honor winners. We had planned to go meet Dad at his house at noon, and go to the three Medal of Honor reciepients gravesites. An interesting way to spend the holiday, and we had everything packed and were driving down there when Kami threw up. A lot. It got on her carseat, so even if we had thought ahead to bring extra clothes, which we hadn't, we still would've had to come home. And Jay, not loving the smell or the whiny baby, got us home in about half the time it took to drive out.

So we threw everything in the washer and got her cleaned off, and sat watching Court TV. I was in a bit of a bad mood from the disappointment, but knew that the group would call us when they got to the graveyard in Salt Lake. When they called we had time to get out there, but in having to wait for the carseat cushions to dry we were late. I was glad to be part of the group for a small time, but it was quite short.

The best part of the day was playing Mormon Bridge and Scrabble with mom and Chelsee and Geoff.

And then I had the bright idea of taking Kami to see the fireworks. This turned out to be the biggest disaster of the day, and just over-the-top enough to make it all seem a little bit funny.

I called Chelsee to come out and see the fireworks with me. She knows someone who lives by Sugarhouse park, so I thought the problem of having no where to park was solved. We drove out on I-80 until we saw the sign, AFTER the last exit, that told us that our exit was closed, we had to keep going to Holladay. So we did, in bumper to bumper traffic, and when we finally got off we just followed the other cars because we didn't know where to go. Cars were parked on both sides of the street as we got closer, so we knew we were there, but couldn't get our bearings to find her friend's house. After making a few circles, we decided just to get back on the main road so we could figure out where we needed to be. I drove down 13th and there it was: The road blocked off by police who were forcing us back onto the freeway.

Luckilly, Kami slept through this whole thing.

Then we decided to just go to Baskin, get some ice cream and shake the whole thing off. And Chelsee got Kameryn out of the car and walked up the the door before she started throwing up, all over the sidewalk. And after cleaning that up the best we could and getting some ice cream, Kameryn SCREAMED the whole way home. The bloody mary type scream that you can't even talk over.

Happy 4th, Everyone. I think it's fair to assume yours was better than mine.

Whatever!

I had intended to write every day for a week, at least, trying to get myself back into the habit. Now I'm not sure if I'll be able to because my laptop at home got a virus and we can't seem to get it to work. I'll try to come up to mom's or still blog somehow. It's too bad because I was really enjoying getting the habit back. Sometimes I'm convinced even sub-par posts are better than nothing.