Early Resolutions

I can always think of a million things to blog about during the day. I make mental lists, but then when I sit in front of the computer with the blank screen, most the time I can't remember anything, and if I can, I think, "Well, that idea was lame."
I'm a constant blog-checker. I have a list in my favorites of ones I check every day, but tonight I needed extra help so I just clicked on some that popped up, and of course I had a special connection to any of them with "Coffee" in the title.
One thing I've found about blogs is most people write the most amazing things. I don't know what it is about me that loves reading other people's thoughts, especially from one day to the next, but people are all so interesting. Even from the total outside looking in I feel priviledged to be reading someone else's thoughts and learning a little about their back story.
And maybe that makes me a little bit of a blog-stalker, which I guess could scare people. But my intentions are good.

Tonight I want to skip past thinking about Christmas and the money I don't have, and go right to thinking about New Years and the opportunity to make goals about things in my life I'd like to change.
One of my first goals for next year is that I would love to live in a way that is healthy for myself. I hate thinking about it in terms of "I have to lose 15 pounds by my birthday" for example, I'm not sure why but that form of goal setting has a lot of negativity associated with it for me, probably because there's such a large chance of failure. What I would like to do is live in a way that is just more respectful to myself. I've found that a lot of my habits (and yes, especially eating habits) are things that work, but not really the things that make me feel good. I've found since having my baby that I have a large amount of respect for my body and what it's capable of. In addition to making and feeding a baby, I also rarely get sick, even when surrounded by disease at work all day. That's not something I want to lose.
I also would like to read more. I've always loved to read but usually don't make time for it during the day. And as Kameryn gets older I'm not exactly sure how I'll be able to accomplish it, but I still think it's important.
I'd also like to continue writing. I've found writing on my blog every day that I get less comments on what I do write, but it's such a rewarding routine because I can go back and read what I've written and remind myself of stories and things that might've been brushed aside and forgotten otherwise. The risk in that is the same as keeping a journal; most times I find that I wait a year and when I go back and read what I wrote before I'm almost embarassed by myself. The difference now, I think, is I'm not writing about high school drama or which boys I like and wished like me, I get to write about my daughter and watching her grow up. It goes by so fast, SO FAST, that even if I'm embarassed by this in a year, at least I'll have the stories about her mixed in. I can't imagine I'll ever get sick of those.
The last thing I'll say is that I want to go on a vacation with my family this coming year. My sweet husband works SO HARD for us it will be so fun to take a chance and just get away from everything. Him and I have always enjoyed our time together, but there's almost something magical about being together as a family. I'm so grateful for him and for Kameryn. Plus, it will be nice to get out and show her things as she gets older. And yes, I suppose that means we'll have to do some camping. In a tent. On the GROUND. But the experiences will be worth it.
When I'm at work and I have to do something I don't want to do or something that scares me, what I'll say is, "Let's do this." Somehow just in saying it I feel more powerful and less afraid. So bring on the rest of the year which usually has me depressed and anxious. Bring on next year, too, because I have some work I need to do. Let's do this.