1. When I take your temprature, please don't ask: "Did you see the light on the wall?" Meaning that the light from the thermometer went through your head and since you don't have a brain, I could see the light on the wall next to us. Here is a fact: There isn't a light on the end of my thermometer. Here's a tip: Only REALLY cute OLD men can pull this one off. And even then, it's not funny.
2. When I weigh you, please don't say, "And then you have to take off 30 pounds for clothes." Some people who say it are joking, and then it's alright, but when you start listing everything your wearing that will make you weigh more, I wish I could mute you.
3. People who get mad because I've blown up the air pressure cuff too tight. Well, that's kinda the name of the game, isn't it? I hate to tell you, but if I need your blood I have to poke you, if I'm checking for strep I have to swab your throat, which will gag you, and I can't GENTLY take your blood pressure. Believe me, if anyone wishes I could be more gentle, it's me.
4. Please don't say ANYTHING when I put my stethoscope in my ears. Here's the trick: They PLUG my ears so I can hear your heartbeat. So I can see your mouth moving, and most the time that's it. The exception to this rule is the people who are still listing all the things I need to subtract from their weight. You guys can talk the whole time.
5. Other people in the room (or other MAs) who tell me I can be "Extra mean to you." I once even had a girl telling me where her boyfriend was tickleish while I was doing an EKG on him. I don't know that I can properly explain how awkward that made things for him and me, so I'll move on.
6. This next one isn't a saying, but it's worth ending on. PLEASE DO NOT FLEX WHEN I'M PUTTING ON THE BLOOD PRESSURE CUFF. I know you're trying to be sexy and manly, and to each his own. The problem is it is so hard to keep myself from laughing. Please don't do it. Trust me on this one.
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5 comments:
LOL... err... okay I guess it's more sad and less funny that people actually do those things... I always wondered about the super-tight-blood-pressure-cuff thing, my nerves are annoyingly over-sensitive so when someone does it really tight I think "OMGF GONNA DIE wait no this surely is normal... argh..." but I don't say anything.
Uhh... just wandering by... ignore meeee... good luck in teh medical world!
I have an irrational fear about being weighed at a doctor's office. I've successfully tried to steer clear on any and all things that might put a number on it, and so when I'm at the doctor's office I always want to either squeeze my eyes shut, or cover up the number from the person. "If neither of us look, it's like it never happened." I'm totally the person who bugs you, but I don't say it out loud. "Okay...so...like...my jeans totally weigh like, 5 lbs, at least? Right?"
And what about checking my ears and stuff! I can't check my own, so I have no idea what you're seeing, and what if like, I'm totally not normal in there?! My worst fear is that you'll recoil away in horror. :)
But I totally never flex my arms when you're taking my blood pressure. Cause you really wouldn't be able to tell anyway. :)
Lol! I need to do this for the dumb things that people always ask at Baskin too.
Truthfully, I hate getting weighed at the doctor's office, too. I'm just as bad when I'm a patient, it's not like I don't know where they're coming from. To be honest, the people I like the best are the ones who say, "Alright, I'll stand up there but don't tell me what I weigh because I don't want to know." That way the doctors have the information they need and the patient doesn't go into the "I've gained 5 pounds since my last visit" depression.
When I was working at Dr. W's office, there were so many patients who would get an audiology test, and when the doctor and I would go into the room, he would say, "Well, you're hearing is fine!" and WITHOUT FAIL, the patient would say, "What?" OMG, that was SO clever and funny, and we totally haven't heard that one like a thousand times!
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