Night #3

I'm happy to report that last night went well. After Kameryn got to sleep she stayed in her crib and barely cried for the rest of the night, and she slept until 8 this morning.

So we're to night three of operation "Kameryn Sleeps By Herself In Her Own Crib All Night Long." And honestly, tonight I started to wonder where I got the resolve to make it through Night 1. Tonight after I had to listen to her cry for 5 minutes I was in there holding her. I didn't talk to her at all, I just held her close and rocked her. I have her listen to Baby Einstein and we have Beethoven, and while I was in there the 5th Symphony came on. Every time it did the classic "bum bum bum BUM" she would lift her head up off my shoulder and look at me like, "Was that you?"

I think one thing (and sometimes the only thing) that keeps me going with this is that I can tell Kameryn has this stubborn independant streak in her that assures me she can do this. Sometimes when she was sleeping in bed with me she would wake up and cry, so I'd take her out on the couch and lay her down thinking I needed to feed her or change her, and as soon as she was lying down by herself she would be fast asleep. So I'd bring her back into bed, and she'd start crying again. Sometimes she wants to be by herself. When I hear her crying and I hear her start to settle down I can sense that she's got that in her, and slowly she's learning to enjoy being on her own, and it makes it worth it.

That's something I want for her. I want her to be independant and self-reliant and stubborn. I want her to be content with her own thoughts and feelings and comfortable with herself. I want her to know that I love her even when I'm not right next to her, and even if she's alone for a bit I want her to trust that I'll come back. I want her to be happy. And I want her to learn to be happy even when no one else is around.

Will she learn all that from sleeping in a crib instead of in bed with me? I don't know. But I want it bad enough for her that I'm willing to try.